Meryl's Philosophy

"Imagine a world where everyone says what they mean,
means what they say, without being mean when they say it."

Hear an interview with Meryl in streaming audio given by the "Smart Women's Club" in which she speaks of her SpeakStrong Philosophy and gives many great communication tips on how it applies: Interview with Meryl

Speaking the Simple Truth by Speaking Strong
Did you ever want to shake someone and ask, "Why didn't you say anything?" They might have responded, "I didn't want to hurt your feelings" or, "No one else was saying anything", or "I didn’t know what to say". Perhaps they said, "I didn't want to be a tattle tale" or "You're the boss and I didn’t think it was appropriate," "I don‘t like discussing things like that" or "I figured you knew".

Who cares why no one spoke the Simple Truth if you just lost your best employee, friend or customer because no one told you something you needed to know. There is no comfort in knowing why someone stayed silent if you did something foolish, if someone you trust was robbing you blind or if you made a wrong decision, and someone knew and didn't say anything.

Staying silent is so common we often do not realize there is another way. The habit of not saying what needs to be said is one probably learned at a very young age. It is a habit that can become so natural, you may not even consider speaking up until it is too late for your words to do any good. Like the proverbial V-8 - you realize the choice you made retroactively.

When you read in the newspaper of the scandals of business corruption, environmental disasters and political conflict of interest, there is often a comment about how many people knew and said nothing. These things simply could not happen to the extent they do if employees, leaders and citizens had not learned the lesson of silence and learned it well.

I remember one of my early "don't say anything" lessons from when I was four years old. I was allowed to cross the street, but my neighbor did not know that. He brought me home in disgrace and when he carried on about how dangerous it was my mother silently maintained an embarrassed-looking smile. I cried. I knew the truth, and my mother did not reinforce it.

I remember another "don't talk" lesson from when I was ten. A handyman asked me how I liked school and my mother made it clear that telling him I hated school was unacceptable.

The lessons got bigger as I grew. The first time I learned that my parents' marriage was in trouble was the day they told me they were getting divorced.

Something is dreadfully wrong - and common - with these stories.

I learned my lessons well. With lessons like these, why would I have questioned my late husband's insistence that I not mention his cancer symptoms to him or anyone else? Only after he passed away from untreated cancer did I seriously question what I had learned from childhood.

Everywhere I go I see others who learned the same lessons of silence as well. The problems are universal. In businesses everywhere, something needs to be said and no one is saying it. I see people holding grudges rather than addressing issues. I see employees quitting rather than letting management know something is amiss. I see people talking around the cooler about what a disaster the new business plan will be but never telling anyone who can do anything. I see people saying yes to non-priorities to the detriment of things that matter because they do not dare to say no. I see departments that exist like islands, and workers who don't receive clear directions make up what they don't understand rather than ask.

The problems are universal, and the solution is simple. Power up, stand up and SpeakStrong! Say what you mean, and mean what you say. Learn to say what is difficult to say. Learn to listen to what is difficult to hear. Something needs to be said, and it needs to be said by people at every level of every organization. Your success depends on it, your organization's success depends on it, and quite possibly, the survival of our planet depends on it.

~ Meryl Runion