The SpeakStrong Solutions
Practical Information and Tools to Help You Say What Needs to be Said
SpeakStrong Solution # 1: Know the Difference between Assertiveness and Aggression.
SpeakStrong Solution # 2: Learn How to Avoid Vicious Venom Poison Phrases and Respect-Robbing Poison Phrases.
SpeakStrong Solution # 3: Discover the Classic Formula to FACE an Issue.
SpeakStrong Solution # 4: Understand the Three Stories Everyone Needs to Know for Clear Communication.
SpeakStrong Solution # 5: Master the Three Questions to Confirm Listening and Understanding
SpeakStrong Solution # 6: Know What a Speech Addiction Is and How to Overcome It.
SpeakStrong Solution # 7: Apply the Six Secrets of PowerPhrases.
SpeakStrong Solution # 8: Identify the Lame Excuses that Keep You from Speaking Up
SpeakStrong Solution # 9: Determine which Boats Need to be Rocked.
SpeakStrong Solution # 10: Understand the Four Communication Styles and Know How to Speak to People with Different Communication Styles from Your Own
SpeakStrong Solution # 11 (Managers): Know What it Takes to Create a Totally Integrated Performance System
SpeakStrong Solution # 12 (Managers): Recognize the Performance Flow to Know When and How to Intervene
SpeakStrong Solution # 1: Know the Difference between Assertiveness and Aggression
“I was just telling the truth” Marge insisted, looking innocent. There are assertive ways to tell the truth and aggressive ways to tell the truth, and Marge had unknowingly crossed over into aggression. Jill, the woman Marge was talking to, felt herself reacting to her words. The conversation edged further from resolution.
“I can’t say anything, because I don’t want to hurt her.” Robin thought he was being kind, but he was withholding information his colleague needed to hear. Because Robin did not know how to give corrective feedback in a non-combative way, he refrained from giving it at all.
• Know the difference between aggression and assertiveness.
• Aggression has an agenda of inflicting pain or discomfort.
• Assertiveness has an agenda of conveying information and solving problems.
• Aggression attempts to work unilaterally.
• Assertiveness attempts to work collaboratively.
• Aggression does not respect the person spoken to.
• Assertiveness respects the speaker and the spoken to.
Meryl can help you to understand the difference between aggression and assertiveness through her keynotes, workshops, newsletter and books. It’s the first step toward clarity.
SpeakStrong Solution # 2: Learn How to Avoid Vicious Venom Poison Phrases and Respect-Robbing Poison Phrases
Vicious Venom Poison Phrases attack the listener. Respect-Robbing Poison Phrases weaken the message. Both need to be avoided. Bunny Bubbles illustrates common Respect-Robbing Poison Phrases you may be using. Here are some types of Poison Phrases.
Vicious Venom Poison Phrases include:
• Pressure
• Threats
• Labeling
• Blame
• Guilt
• Absolute
• The “shoulds”
• Sarcasm
Respect-Robbing Poison Phrases Include:
• Qualifiers
• Fillers
• Conditional language
• Indecisive
• Tag Phrases
Meryl helps you learn to avoid these Poison Phrases in her keynotes, workshops, newsletter and books. It’s the second step toward clarity.
SpeakStrong Solution # 3: Discover the Classic Formula to FACE an Issue
There’s a classic formula to address issues called the FACE formula. Here’s the formula with sentence stems to get you going.
Facts: Situation, behavior.
• I notice..., When..., The other day..., I see...
Appreciation: Safety statement. Acknowledge their perspective.
• I understand..., I appreciate..., I realize..., I’d like to understand why...
Consequence/Cost: How the behavior affects you, them and others.
• I think..., I feel..., What happens is..., The risk of it is...
Expectation: What you want. Requested behavior.
• I want..., I need..., I prefer..., Please...
Meryl helps you master the FACE formula in her keynotes, workshops, newsletter and books It’s the third step toward clarity.
SpeakStrong Solution # 4: Understand the Three Stories Everyone Needs to Know for Clear Communication
You have your perspective, I have mine. There also is a perspective that a neutral party would hold. Powerful communication involves the understanding of all three perspectives. Here are the questions to ask to provide a foundation of true communication.
Yours: How do you see the situation? What do you think, feel and want?
Theirs: How do they see the situation? What do they think, feel and want?
Shared: How can you describe the situation in a way that incorporates both perspectives?
Meryl helps you master the three stories through her keynotes, workshops, newsletter and books. It’s the fourth step toward clarity.
SpeakStrong Solution # 5: Master the Three Questions to Confirm Listening and Understanding
What does the person you’re listening to think? What do they feel? What do they want?
If you want to be understood, you must first understand.
These three questions will help you focus on the speaker’s deeper meaning. By confirming these three points you don’t just ensure you understand the speaker; you send a message to them that you understand.
Meryl helps you master the three questions in her keynotes, workshops, newsletter and books. It’s the fifth step toward clarity.
SpeakStrong Solution # 6: Know What a Speech Addiction Is and How to Overcome It
Addictions are compulsive behaviors. Speech addictions are speech habits that are counter-productive. Respect-Robbing Poison Phrases and Vicious Venom Poison Phrases become habitual, and to SpeakStrong, it’s important to identify the speech addictions you have and overcome them.
Meryl helps you identify and overcome speech addictions in her keynotes, workshops, newsletter and books. It’s the sixth step toward clarity.
SpeakStrong Solution # 7: Apply the Six Secrets of PowerPhrases
A PowerPhrase is:
• Short.
• Specific.
• Targeted.
• Say what you mean.
• Mean what you say.
• And not be mean when you say it.
Apply those six secrets in everything you say.
Meryl helps you master the six secrets of PowerPhrases in her keynotes, workshops, newsletter and books. It’s the seventh step toward clarity.
SpeakStrong Solution # 8: Identify the Lame Excuses that Keep You from Speaking Up
There are eight reasons that people use to justify staying silent when something needs to be said. The reasons can be valid; however they are often just “Lame Excuses” that perpetuate secrecy and dishonesty. The reasons are:
• Misplaced respect for authority
• Fear of negative consequences
• Not wanting to offend
• Avoidance
• Habit
• No one else is saying anything
• Self doubt
• Don’t know how
Meryl helps you overcome your lame excuses in her keynotes, workshops, newsletter and books. It’s the eighth step toward clarity.
SpeakStrong Solution # 9: Determine Which Boats Need to Be Rocked
Not every issue needs to be addressed. Not every error needs to be corrected. Not every boat needs to be rocked. But some boats do.
When is silence golden? Silence MAY be golden when,
There is nothing to be gained to offset the price of speaking.
The person you are speaking to is likely to abuse the information.
You are emotionally off-balance or mentally unclear and you need time to gather your thoughts.
Silence is NOT golden when,
Your silence causes or allows harm to someone (including yourself).
Someone has a stake in information you have.
Someone needs to know you care and/or that you appreciate what they do.
Meryl helps you know which boats you want to rock in her keynotes, workshops, newsletter and books. It’s the ninth step toward clarity.
SpeakStrong Solution # 10: Understand the Four Communication Styles and Know How to Speak to People with Different Communication Styles from Your Own
What is your communication style? To SpeakStrong, you need to recognize the communication styles and adapt your word choice to each.
The styles are:
• Likeable
• Visionary
• Achievable
• Reflective
Discover your style by taking the online survey.
Meryl helps identify different communication styles and helps you understand how to talk to different styles in her keynotes, workshops, newsletter and books. It’s the tenth step toward clarity.
SpeakStrong Solution # 11 (Managers): Know What It Takes to Create a Totally Integrated Performance System
The most powerful performance reviews are based on the integration of:
• Great hiring
• Great Job descriptions
• Great performance goals
• Great performance tracking
• Great interim reviews
• Great performance counseling
• Great reviews
Meryl helps you integrate your performance reviews in her keynotes, workshops, newsletter and books. It’s the eleventh step toward clarity.
SpeakStrong Solution # 12 (Managers): Recognize the Performance Flow to Know When and How to Intervene
Managers need to understand the performance flow and know what to do at each step.
Meryl helps you know how to manage seamlessly in her keynotes, workshops, newsletter and books.
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Contact Meryl Runion at SpeakStrong, Inc |
