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There I was, thinking I had found the answer, and I got an email with a new great idea, persuasively argued. Dear Ms Runion, Isis, Pippi’s new name Why. 1. I Say It Strong. ( ISIS) 2. Speak Strong Inc ( play on the initials) 3. Isis was the Egyptian god blessed with the power over words. The Egyptians believed that if the best effect was to be produced by words of power they must be uttered in a certain tone of voice, and at a certain rate, and at a certain time of the day or night, with appropriate gestures or ceremonies. It also a beautiful name steeped in history, with mystique and offers tremendous opportunity to visualize. My thoughts now are to rename Pippi "Pippi Pangea" but to rename the award the Isis Award, standing for I Said It Strong. What do you think? This Week in the World $50,000 She Could Not Afford to Keep I just read an extraordinary book called The Soul of Money by Lynne Twist. It is difficult to choose a single story to share from it, but I will. For 20 years Lynne Twist was a leader and fundraiser for The Global Hunger Project. In her early years, she met with the CEO of a cereal manufacturer who showed no interest in her project but presented her a check for $50,000. She had heard that the reason why he was donating was because his company had been caught doing something unethical and the donation was part of their damage control. The situation was distasteful to her and the money felt tainted. That same evening Lynne received many small donations from individuals in Harlem who could scarcely afford to donate at all, but did so with joy. After experiencing the contrast, Lynne returned the check to the CEO, explaining she could not accept the donation because they were looking for partners who gave from the heart. She suggested his company find another organization they felt a commitment to. I was impressed. To me, that was an act of power. I’m not sure I could have returned a $50,000 gift, but I like the idea that I might. Lynne felt the money to be a burden to her project and felt freed by returning it. A subsequent event showed her how wise her action was. Six years later the CEO sent Lynne Twist a $250,000 personal contribution with a note telling her that when he received the returned check it affected him deeply. He said he followed her work with The Hunger Project over the years and was impressed. He told her his personal contribution did come from his heart. Sometimes you don’t learn right away how you affect people when you SpeakStrong. But chances are good if you act from principle the effect is a positive one. Post a comment in our blog, here. PowerPhrase of the Week A participant at one of my seminars last week shared that he would get his kids in the habit of thinking for themselves, problem solving and sharing their opinions by asking them what they think. If they responded that they didn’t know, he would tell them,
The point of this expression is that people often think they need to have “the right answer” to speak, but they don’t. We don’t have to know for our thoughts to have value. comment Poison Phrase of the Week Whenever we make a change there are always issues we did not anticipate. So it is with our newsletter format. While most people have enjoyed the new format, there are a few who have had issues that we needed to address. I appreciate people giving feedback and want to avoid any wording that would discourage future feedback. So when I responded to one person’s email I wanted to point out that she was not alone in her problem. My first draft had another implication that was best avoided, however. I said, - There are a few others with this issue so we are looking to fix it. I realized (before I hit send this time) that my words implied that if she had been the only one with a problem, we might not have done anything about it. I always try to give people the benefit of any doubt when they say things like this, but it’s best to be aware from our side how others might hear things. comment Ask Meryl I had a tough dinner to get thru last week and thought of you and how you would have recommended I handle the situation and which “speak strong” words I could have used. I was invited by a colleague to go to dinner with one of our top clients. Everyone was male except for me and one of the client’s spouses. As soon as I walked up to the group, I felt as though I was dismissed as a woman. I was not introduced when others were being introduced as we stood there, and the clients seemed to ignore me off the bat. The funny thing is that I am a Vice President at the company and equal to the colleague who invited me. The dinner got much worse. The man sitting next to me started telling me that everything I was telling him was “so attractive” – that I like golf, that I liked to work crossword puzzles, really anything I said, he would say “I know you are married, but that is just so damn attractive that you like that, or do that, etc..” I was very uncomfortable and wish I could have found my powerwords. I did not want to offend the client as they are incredibly vital to our business but I wanted to let him know he was not being respectful. What would you have said to achieve both goals? Meryl Responds Ignore them ignoring you. When you are ignored in introductions, take the lead and introduce yourself as if that’s the natural order of things. Say:
It’s a tough balance to hit because if you try too hard to be seen it puts you in a position of weakness, but so does being ignored. However, the fact is that you don’t need anyone to invite you in to take your rightful place. Second, ask your colleague why he didn’t introduce you, and ask him to be your ally in the future. Third, the man sitting next to you is likely clueless as to how he comes across. Some ideas:
I expect that my readers will have an abundance of suggestions. comments Got a question? Send it to us at SpeakStrong. We answer as many questions as we can personally. We may use your question in the newsletter anonymously unless we are asked not to. When we respond, please email us back to tell us you received the response and give us feedback. Reader Success Story Not long after turning 40 I grew a backbone. It was like I suddenly lost my fear of asking for what I needed, wanted, or in disagreeing with someone. The new problem was, without those 40 years of practice, I did not have the skills to speak up appropriately. I attended one of your seminars, purchased several of the Power Phrase books, decided I agreed with your philosophy and began implementing it in my life. Here is an example of how it worked in my office. This was happening to co-workers as well and since I am the office manager, I felt the need to address the situation. I practiced ways to speak up based on previous encounters and the next time a situation arose, I simply stated, 'If you will slow down and tell me exactly what you want, I will be happy to get it done for you.' As simple as this sounds, it worked wonderfully. His next answer was succinct and to the point. We accomplished the project with much less stress on all of us and my coworkers were as thrilled as I was. One of the great things about Speaking Strong is that it can be done politely but firmly and in very few words. comment Send in your success stories for a free Pippi Giraffe. Reader Comments on Last Week's Newsletter I had a few people take my good advice about getting names removed from lists they don't want to be on by unsubscribing from my newsletter. It's always good to know people are paying attention. :-) |
Newsletter Format The format is changing each week in response to feedback from those who need it print-friendly and those who prefer not to scroll back and forth with two columns. We appreciate your feedback and expect to get it finalized soon. Thanks for your comments. Got a Communication Challenge? We will respond with our best suggestions. We may publish your question and response anonymously unless you request privacy.We appreciate your feedback on our response. If we publish your question, be sure to check the blog for further suggestions from our readers. SpeakStrong "Sometimes you don’t learn right away how you affect people when you SpeakStrong. But chances are good if you act from principle the effect is a positive one. " ~ Meryl Runion~ SpeakStrong Definition: To express yourself both powerfully & effectively; to say what you mean, mean what you say, without being mean when you say it. SpeakStrong " If we can let go of the constant trying to get more, it frees up unbelievable amounts of energy to make a difference in our life with what is already right there in front of us." Lynne Twist
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