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This Week in the World I enjoyed this year’s National Speaker’s Association Convention more than any before, because I added what had been the missing ingredient at past conventions. Me. I realized what I had done in the past when my fiend Cindi asked me why I was even going this year. Her question made me realize that I was complaining about what the convention wasn’t rather than embracing what it was. Clearly I had chosen to go, so I must have concluded that the benefits of going outweighed the liabilities. Yet my conversation with Cindi reflected the con side of the convention and overlooked the pros that were the reason I opted to go in the first place. This year I let my resistance go. I decided to have a blast, and I did, because I showed up 100%. Are you showing up 100% in your world…particularly in your communication? For example, today my husband questioned my intent in a remark I made that he took the wrong way. In the past he would have stewed about it, but since he made a commitment to show up 100% for me in our interactions, he’s been doing just that. Showing up completely at a convention is a decision, and showing up completely in communication is too. Both are decisions that are well worth making. Post a comment in our blog, here.
PowerPhrase of the Week When I told my convention roommate that I was going to a session on “immunizing your speaking business from the avian flu,” she replied, “Yeah, I remember Y2K. ” She figured since Y2K was a non-event, the Avian Flu was likely to have a mild impact as well. That’s why I was impressed when the speaker said
and explained why this threat is different from that non-event of 2000. When you know what the common objections to an idea are, address them first from your own side. Poison Phrase of the Week A client of mine told me how delightful the ASTD Convention was. (Association for Training and Development.) I explained that I was interested in ASTD and had spoken for them, but I didn’t attend the meetings because - I’m torn between speaking, training and writing. I noticed my wording and wondered why I chose those exact words. I didn’t say that my work encompasses speaking, training and writing and I didn’t say that my work includes those things. I said I was torn between them. My choice of words told me that I need to integrate the aspects of my work, and if I can’t do that, I need to drop aspects that leave me divided. Listen to how you talk, and ask yourself if you are revealing your true experience of things in ways you hadn’t been conscious of before. Ask Meryl My daughter is on my cell plan, and one month she went over by $500. She says she can’t afford to pay me now, but will in the fall. In the meantime, she is now going over by smaller amounts. I don’t want to cut her off because she is out of state and I think it is important for her to have cell access, but I also want her to be responsible for her actions. How shall I address her? Meryl Responds Set the conditions for her to continue on the plan, and if she does not abide by them, consider it her choice to be cut from it. Say,
If you don't mean what you say, she holds all the power because she knows you won't take her off. If you do mean what you say, you hold all the power and she will face the consequences of her own actions if she doesn't respect your conditions. Got a question? Send it to us at SpeakStrong. We answer as many questions as we can personally. We may use your question in the newsletter anonymously unless we are asked not to. When we respond, please email us back to tell us you received the response and give us feedback. Reader Success Story In our ‘rat race’ lives we often operate on the past (5 years ago, 5 days ago, 5 mins ago) or we operate on the future (what will happen 5 years from now, 5 days from now and 5 minutes from now). I believe strongly that living in the moment of events helps me stay focused and true to my feelings and beliefs. It keeps me from running away. I heard the phrase Kacper, (Owner of Iamnow.com) say: “Things are like this now….” In the last year at work we’ve had 3 different VP level positions filled by new staff. With that said, things have been changing often and quickly. My position as a permanent/full-time consultant is to be the liaison in these changes. In the middle of meetings I have staff questioning everything possible about the change, i.e. "We used to….” “If we do that, what will happen to…” all valid questions that can be addressed appropriately, but questions that can lead you to become unfocused on the duty that is the pressing issue… So in these situations I’ve said, “Things are like this now…(and I pause) in order to….” At first it may seem awkward to the receivers of this phrase, since they may be mentally in the past or future, but I’ve often seen them pause and then take note and actually listen to what I have to say. BTW... this works well with my two boys (10 y/o and 3 y/o). I avoid giving promises that I can’t keep, i.e. tomorrow we will go swimming. But I will often let them know what I plan for the day at hand. In cases where things change I call them over and say, “Things are like this now,” and I explain. It seems they are less likely to be upset with me pinning me down on what I ‘promised earlier’ and they actually listen. Send in your success stories for your Pippi Pangea I Said it Strong Award. |
Ask Meryl We will respond with our best suggestions. We may publish your question and response anonymously unless you request privacy.We appreciate your feedback on our response. If we publish your question, be sure to check the blog for further suggestions from our readers. SpeakStrong "To SpeakStrong, you've got to show up. " ~ Meryl Runion~ SpeakStrong Definition: To express yourself both powerfully & effectively; to say what you mean, mean what you say, without being mean when you say it. SpeakStrong "The best effort of a fine person is felt after we have left their presence."
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