This Week in the World
That's My Story and I'm Sticking to It
I first met him on the streets by Vanderbilt University in
Nashville when I was 19. A friend introduced us. I don’t know why he
had such an impact on me, but I immediately knew I was meeting a man
with a huge destiny – a man who would have a tremendous impact on
the world.
I follow his career and am excited that he recently signed a
contract for a new book titled Attack on Reason. I am
interested in the topic and I like what this man has to say and how
he says it. His name is Al Gore, and I like him.
Now, that’s a risky disclosure.
In my
perfect world, where everyone says what they mean and mean what
they say without being mean when they say it, sharing a political
opinion isn’t risky. People respectfully ask questions, share their
own experience and opinions, stay open to adapting their thinking to
incorporate new information, and everyone walks away feeling
enriched and knowing more than when they started.
In the imperfect world, people don’t ask questions because they
assume they already know everything they need to. They don’t offer
their opinions; they tell others how it is. They don’t attack
points, they attack the speaker. They don’t consider the possibility
of learning anything, and everyone walks away more entrenched in
their own thinking than they started.
I once heard a speaker talk about a powerful meeting he had with
a former President of the United States. It was an engaging story,
but nowhere in the presentation did he mention who that president
was. It was obvious the speaker was concerned that if he named the
president, it would trigger a reaction and invite rejection. He was
concerned about what response naming a political figure would get in
this imperfect world.
How do your react to the topic of politics? Are you one of those
who punish others for their political opinions and attempt to shut
them down? Are you one of those who allow themselves to be silenced?
Or do you say what you mean, mean what you say without being mean
when you say it, and allow others the same?
I take a risk when I name the politician I’m referring to. But
until further notice, I admit to liking Al Gore. That’s my story and
I’m sticking to it.
What’s your story? Are you sticking to it?
Post a comment in our blog, here.
PowerPhrase
of the Week
Is
There Something You Want to Say to Me?
After Joe made a handful of sideswipes targeting Marla at a
meeting, she turned to him and said,
- Joe, is there something you want to say to me?
The silence was thick. Everyone was uncomfortable by Joe’s
remarks, and Marla’s comment brought the tension to the surface
where it could be dealt with. Joe said there wasn’t anything he
needed to say, and the sideswipes stopped.
comment
Poison
Phrase of the Week
I
Have a Dentist Appointment at 3:00 and...
Sometimes I catch myself giving too much information. When a
journalist from INC magazine asked if she could interview me Monday
afternoon, I started into a long explanation saying,
- I have a dentist appointment at 3:00 so I'll need to leave
at 2:15 to be sure to have enough time to get there, and it should
take an hour after which I need to make a few stops and
then...
I realized all she needed to know was when I was and wasn't
available. I edited my email to that, much briefer message.
comment
Ask
Meryl
My Boss is a Bully
My boss is a bully. He doesn’t like what anyone does the
first time. He feels a need to rebuke and demean everyone,
thinking that his style will make people work harder. Before
he even met me he judged me by my predecessors’ actions. He
asked what I thought I could do, when every one else failed. I
asked him what he wanted me to do, and the man said he didn’t have
time to give me requirements; in fact he had given them to the
people that came before me. Since there wasn’t any
documentation, I have been working trial and error with him. I
met with him yesterday and he was verbally abusive. I have
come to the conclusion that I need to tell him, “There’s no need to
be disrespectful, please tell me what you want and I will create the
product you want instead of redoing it every time you see it.”
That will probably end my assignment here, but I think he needs to
be told. How should I do it without humiliating him and
incurring any more wrath? Help! This is getting
unbearable.
Meryl Responds
Be sure to check the blogged
responses to last week's Ask Meryl, because there are some
excellent messages that could be of use to you.
I don’t know how to stand up to a bully without incurring any
wrath, but I will tell you that often bullies stop when people
refuse to take any abuse. It’s a risk, but you might be
surprised.
Are you documenting?
Your words (the ones you put in quotes) sound good. I suggest you
say,
- I am a professional and I expect to be treated as one. I find
your words more dismissive than helpful. I believe if we take the
time to detail the project specs, I can get it right or almost
right the first time and avoid having to redo it.
It’s up to you to determine if you are willing to take that risk.
It sounds like you are…I like the sound of your determination.
Readers?
comments
Got a question? Send it to us at SpeakStrong. We answer as many
questions as we can personally. We may use your question in the
newsletter anonymously unless we are asked not to. When we respond,
please email us back to tell us you received the response and give
us feedback.
