This Week in the World
When You Don't Want to Speak, You Probably Need To
Have
you ever noticed it often happens that if you don’t want to speak up,
you probably should, and if you do want to speak up, you probably
shouldn’t?
If your motivation to speak is
to relieve emotional pressure, you might be better off waiting. This
week, one person I know spoke up about a situation when she was
emotionally out of balance, and her words were unfair and unnecessarily
hurtful. This week, another person I know waited to speak to deal with
his emotional reaction. By doing so he won the respect of the person he
had the issue with when he spoke later.
If
you know something needs to be said because the truth of a situation
needs to be understood, you probably should go ahead and speak whether
you want to or not. This week, one person I know spoke up because
management did not hold her colleague accountable, and her colleague’s
slacking was a bottleneck for the entire office. She had been reluctant
to speak and rock the boat, but she knew she did the right thing.
Another person I know needed to speak up because a dishonest coworker
had the entire office behaving secretively to avoid having their
accomplishments claimed by someone else. She did not speak because
she’s afraid to rock the boat and is unsure of her words.
The desire to speak is not the ultimate guide to whether you should speak or not.
Be sure it's Pippi who wants to speak, not Izzie. I’ve re-linked to my
Risky Conversation Assessment form to help you decide whether you want to have your conversation or not – and whether you’ll have the conversation anyway…or not.
Post a comment in our blog, here.
PowerPhrase of the Week
I Don't Know, and I'd Rather Not Speculate.
Jodie
wanted a quick response as to how long a project would take. Kristi did
not yield to the pressure to give a fast answer, so she told her
manager,
- I
don’t know and I’d rather not speculate. I’ll study the specs and my
existing commitments and give you my best estimate by 2PM this
afternoon.
comment
Poison Phrase of the Week
You People (Reader Contribution)
I
recently stumbled on a poison phrase that I hear my customers use when
they are unhappy with the company I work for or one of our partners.
It's starting or ending a sentence with,
- You people
I find when this is said to me I want to react because it feels like a
passive aggressive action. I slow down and ask for who exactly in the
"you people" statement they are referring too.
comment
Ask Meryl
Favoritism
I manage my company’s warehouse. My director shows favoritism to the
employees in the technical center who do absolutely no wrong in his
eyes. He thinks the warehouse makes every error in the book everyday
and are a bunch of complainers. My guys are extremely hard workers and
will do anything I ask them to do without hesitation. He treats my guys
like dirt and they feel it and they see how well he treats the techs.
They are very unhappy with their jobs and they are looking for other
jobs just because of him. I have tried to tell and make my director see
that he does this, but he refuses to listen or to see the proof. He
just backs the techs up.
In addition to
the reporting I have to do for the warehouse, I have to do the
reporting for the tech center. Since he does not have a manager for the
tech center he feels that I should do this reporting since I already do
the warehouse's. The executives keep coming up with more reports that
need to be done and I am so busy with reports I can't manage my
warehouse properly. I am so far behind that I can't make deadlines.
When I am out of the office he will not back me up and I when I come
back I am even more behind. These are managerial reports so one of my
employees can't do them. I have asked him for help but he tells me
don't worry it will all work out. I feel like I am just his secretary.
I have even gone to his boss and have told her about the problem but
nothing has been done there either because she is too busy with other
things to take care of this. I try to tell my employees to stay
positive but it I know how hard that can be because I have a hard time
staying positive.
Meryl Responds
Regarding the reports, document the time you spend on each item, along
with the time you spend on warehouse management. Then when you meet to
discuss your responsibilities, say,
- I need your help. I’ve been logging the time it takes for my various
responsibilities and here is what I’ve come up with. As you see, these
external demands on my time take up X hours leaving me Y hours for
warehouse management. This is unworkable. I suggest we resolve this by
delegating X report to (name), streamlining Y report in the following
way and eliminating the Z report. Would this work for you, or do you
have other suggestions?
Regarding the favoritism, document specific details of the incidents,
and when you and your staff “complain”, be sure to talk about possible
solutions and what you want more than what you don’t want.
Your question contains generalities, which makes me wonder if you are
specific enough when you address the issue with the director. For
example, when you say he thinks the techies can do no wrong, warehouse
makes every error in the book and he treats your people like dirt, you
are speaking in generalities. This may be just in writing me, but
I point it out in case you are not specific enough with your boss or
boss’ boss.
You can't make your boss listen or
look at proof, but with persistance you might crack the armour. Every
time your director says something disparaging about your people or to
your people or in some other way is unfair, document it and speak
specifically to him about the incident. Say,
- I think you may not be aware of what a great job Joe did regarding…
- I believe your assessment of what happened with the X account is unfair because…
Be sure to let him know the impact on morale. Say,
- When you (blame my staff for errors they did not make as with the X
situation, speak to my staff in the way you did Joe, overlook successes
such as…, not mention above the call of duty contributions such as…,
etc.) the effect is it lowers morale. I’m afraid of losing good people
who do a great job because they feel blamed and unappreciated.
In addition, sing your people’s praises at every appropriate opportunity. Say things like,
- Joe found a great solution to a stocking issue we had. He… It would
mean a lot to him if you were to acknowledge it.
If your boss refuses to look at the details of incidents, you can suggest,
- Since
you're unwilling to look at the details, I will forward my
documentation to your boss in the hope she can help me here. I will cc
you.
Be aware that
you are unlikely to change things with one comment, but with repetition
you can make inroads. That goes for talking to your boss’ boss as well.
If the squeaky wheel gets the oil, as it often does, you’ll need to
squeak enough that they will decide it’s easier to address your issue
than to ignore it.
Obviously you care about
your people, and it is your responsibility to take care of them to the
best of your ability. I respect your willingness to do that.
comments
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