This Week in the World
Militant Patriotism
I
was surprised by the response I got to last week’s Dixie Chicks post. I
wasn’t surprised that I lost a few subscribers or that several people
mentioned the choices they made to end their support of the Chick’s
music. I wasn’t surprised that many readers were highly critical of
what the Chicks did, or that many were highly critical of me for using
the example. I wasn’t surprised by the names I was called.
What
I was surprised by is that even though I described how the campaign
against them included blacklisting their music from radio, CD crushing
events, media refusal to accept ads for their concerts, hate mail and
death threats, not one person wrote of having a problem with it, and
several said “The Dixie Chicks weren’t targeted” and “the Dixie Chicks
got exactly what they deserved. happiness(I was happy that one person
did mention not liking what the Chicks said but respecting their right
to say it.)
Either those who condone the
campaign against the Chicks did not read the list and/or check the link
to understand how extreme the measures were before expressing strong
opposition to my post, or they sincerely believe that expressing
dissent on foreign soil justifies the intensity of the response the
Chicks experienced.
I’m not sure which
conclusion disturbs me more – the idea that people might react so
strongly without checking details or that they might think dissent
should be punished so severely.
A few
years ago I wrote about the student of a friend of mine in China who
was impressed that Michael Moore spoke out against the Iraq war at the
Oscars without being killed for it. In China dissenters are
disappeared. The tolerance of Moore’s dissent gave the student a
favorable impression of the US. I am inclined to believe that the
reaction against the Chicks was more damaging to the US image than
their remarks were.
This experience left me
with many questions. It left me wondering what it would take for the
people who think the Chicks deserved what they got to conclude the
response was overdone. If one of their death threats had been carried
out, would they still be suggesting the Chicks got what they deserved?
It
also left me wondering if I am I the only one who thinks the backlash
against the Chicks is a travesty and an alarming wake-up call about how
far people will go to silence others. I hope not. I truly believe that
every voice we help to silence makes it harder for us to speak our own
truth.
I write about politics sometimes
because they shine a bright light on our personal communication
dynamics. This week, check to see if you fire back heated responses
without checking the details, or if you believe that people in your
life who say things that offend you should be "tanken out to the
woodshed" and punished. Check to see if your communication reflects the
principle of saying what you mean and meaning what you say without
being mean when you say it. And while you’re at it, check to see if you
allow others the same freedoms.
Post a comment in our blog, here.
PowerPhrase of the Week
If...Then
If-then
sets up your listener for acceptance. After the "if", you mention a
situation your listener will identify with or a requirement they meet.
That deflects their resistance. Next you complete the sentence with
what you propose.
- If
you want to speak so people can hear you, then you need to say what you
mean and mean what you say without being mean when you say it.
- If you want your words to have more impact, then be as brief as possible.
The “then” can be implied.
- If you’ve got a need to speak powerfully, you’ll get what you’re looking for at my December Springs Retreat.
comment
Poison Phrase of the Week
If It Bothers You, Move
Jody asked Krista to stop smacking her gum. Krista said,
- If it bothers you, move.
This
is a very dismissive comment. Jody’s desk was close to Krista’s and it
didn’t make sense to move. Secondly, it implies that the problem is all
Jody’s rather than suggesting they work together to troubleshoot.
comment
Ask Meryl Two Questions this Week Again
Sarcasm
A manager that is in competition with me uses a lot of sarcasm. I try
to keep the peace and be very professional. I feel this makes me less
effective with other employees especially when he does it in public
Do you have any advice for me on how to handle myself and this manager?
Meryl Responds
My stock phrases for sarcasm are:
• Is there something you need to say to me? If there is, please say it directly.
• That remark sounded sarcastic. Did you intend it that way?
• I would be happy to discuss this with you in private.
• Let’s take that kind of comment off line.
• I thought I heard a dig. Did I?
• If you have an issue with me, please address if directly.
Please
note, while your employees will likely lose some respect when you don’t
speak up, it reflects even worse on him for using the sarcasm.
I Like Bush... I am a Republican, I like George Bush; I believe in what we are doing
in Iraq, and like your column very much. I find in most social circles
I am in, I am chastised if I say anything of the sort (except liking
your column/newsletter). It is almost assumed that everyone hates
Bush and is against the war and I feel if I say anything to the
contrary, I am isolating myself, and somehow a very bad person and an
"idiot" since that is what people share with me before they even know
my view.
There are many smart, non-idiot,
incredible people that believe in our President and what we are doing
in the world. How do I respond to people that react so negatively
and disgusted when I tell them I don't hate Bush as they do? I need
some Power Phrases...
Meryl's Response
I like your words.
- There are many smart, non-idiot, incredible people that believe in our
President and what we are doing in the world. I am one of them.
- I understand it’s not popular around here to support the President, but I do, and I’d appreciate your respect of that.
- If you’d ever like to have a discussion with an intelligent person
whose views of the President are differernt from yours, I’m available.
Personally I welcome reasoned criticism of political figures but I don’t like ugly words on either side. You can say,
- I’m open to your opinions but I don’t enjoy hearing you disparage the President because I respect him.
comments
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