A PowerPhrase A Week From SpeakStrong Inc

This Week in the World has been moved to the end.

How to Say It: Performance Reviews will be in bookstores later this week.

Issue 247
November 30, 2006

PowerPhrase of the Week
Let's Solve the Problem Now. How This Happened Is a Conversation for Later.

Somehow Ruth's order was overlooked, leaving her short on inventory for a top-selling item. When she spoke to impress the manufacturer that this was a problem that needed to be solved immediately, the manufacturer came back with excuses and explanations. Ruth kept the focus on the first priority - getting her order filled. She said,

Let's solve the problem now. How this happened is a conversation for later.

It's easy to get distracted into blame and defense when a problem arises. There is a time and a place to debrief problems to find out what needs to be changed to avoid future ocurrences. When damage control is the priority, those questions should wait. When the house is on fire, put it out and start the arson investigation once things settle down.

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Poison Phrase of the Week
If You Can Manage to Get There on Time for a Change

Joel is in charge of the agenda for an association meeting. He left a voice mail on Carla’s machine saying,

- I’d like you to lead a networking activity at the beginning of the meeting if you can manage to get there on time for a change.

When asking for a favor, don’t include a put-down in your request. As an association member, Carla has no obligation to be on time to the meetings, but even if she had, indirectly mentioning her tardiness while asking for a favor leaves a bad feeling.

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Ask Meryl
Impatient Clarification

I asked a friend a clarifying question because I did not understand her remark. She prefaced her response with, "Like I said." I kept asking questions until I felt I understood, ignoring her dismissive attitude.

Afterwards, I felt patronized, and felt like this phrase should have been addressed, but I did not know what to say. What do you suggest?

Meryl Responds

I’d say,

You sound impatient with my need for clarification. Is there something about how I’m asking that is irritating? I could pretend to understand, but I figure if it’s worth you saying, it’s worth me understanding.

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Reader Success Story
No Story This Week

This Week in the World
A PowerPhrase Is as Strong as it Needs to Be and No Stronger

I buy and sell on eBay and have 100% positive feedback. Most vendors are reasonable but occasionally I run into someone who seems unconscious. I usually choose to speak up even though I know I run the risk of negative feedback. So far I've managed to make my point without offending.

This week I was surprised to receive a cryptic email from a vendor about a $7 auction that had closed 24 hours before. The email said,

- Payment was due within 24 hrs of auction end. Please pay now or I will have to relist the item and file a dispute via eBay.

I examined the auction listing and discovered that, there in the fine print, the vendor had noted that payment was required within 24 hours. A 24 hour payment policy is unusual and I missed it when I placed my bid.

I checked the vendor's feedback and noticed that mixed in with the positive comments were comments about her being rude. I understood why.

I emailed the vendor back saying that I had missed the 24 hour policy, and I would make payment immediately. I continued that while I understood her right to set her own payment policies, her email seemed unnecessarily harsh, particularly since her policies were unusual.

Her response to me was conciliatory, and the interaction ended on a positive note.

Sometimes it is necessary to make demands and indicate the consequences of non-compliance, but it's important to wait to get heavy handed until it's clear that's what's needed. The eBay vendor was technically justified in the strength of her demands - I was late in remitting. Being technically correct isn't always good business, and being stronger than needed with customers never is.

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