This Week in the World
A Congregation With No Complaints
Last week I wrote about my one day “question fast” – a day when I refrained (or attempted to refrain) from asking questions to break a habit of asking too many questions. This week, I read about a Kansas City minister who has his congregation going through a “complaint fast” for 21 days to break themselves of that habit. They were given arm bands with the instruction that when they slipped, they would switch the bands to the other wrist and start over.
After two months, only one member of the congregation has met the challenge.
Communication habits that don’t serve you can actually be “speech addictions.” It’s never easy to break an addiction, but it can be done. And when ineffective or destructive habits give way to powerful communication, everything changes.
What speech habit would you like to change? Start today, and see what you can do. (There are some great comments on the question fast idea in the blog.)
Post a comment in our blog, here.
PowerPhrase of the Week
The Result of the Choices You Make
Karyl’s coworker Robin was perpetually stressed. Karyn got lunch for her so she could catch up on her work, and when she got back with the food she was dismayed to find that Robin had spent the time reading political blogs. Karyl said,
- I realize now why you’re stressed. It’s the result of the choices you make. I got your lunch to save you time, but you chose to use your time on distractions rather than on finishing your project. I understand what you’re doing, because I do it too. It takes one to know one, and I see it in you.
Robin was unconscious of her patterns, and Karyl gently spoke to make her more aware.
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Poison Phrase of the Week
I Thought You Were the Desk Clerk
When the desk clerk told Jim that he would have to ask her manager about special room rates in the morning because she normally handled that, Jim responded to the desk clerk in a cutting tone with the words,
- Oh, excuse me. I thought you were the desk clerk.
Sarcasm is hurtful and unhelpful.
Ask Meryl
An End to Hugs
My husband has a female co-worker that every time she sees me (which is 2 or 3 times a week) she hugs me when she says hi and bye. I do not want her to hug me anymore because I'm not the hugging type and I do not consider her a friend. It has been going on for about 3 months and I want to say something but I do not really know how to say it without hurting her feelings, she is really sensitive. Please help thank you.
Meryl Responds
This is a tough call since this has been going on for a while. And she might take it personally no matter how you mention it. If she does, that's her choice, of course. I suggest you say,
- Name, would you be offended if we said goodbye instead of hugging? I appreciate you making me feel so welcome when I visit, but I'm not the hugging type.
I chose words A) to acknowledge her for something, B) to pre-call the possibility of her being offended and C) to suggest an alternative rather than just saying what you don't want. (Avoid saying, "don't hug me.") You may choose to acknowledge her differently - for something else - and you may decide to ask for a different kind of good-bye than the one I suggested.
I hope this helps. Let me know how it goes.
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