My Personal Success Library for Sale on EBay / SpeakStrong Solutions
I’m selling hundreds of books and cassettes from my management and success library on EBay. This is a great way for you to create a company or personal library for leadership, management, success, communication and teamwork. Check out my auctions here. (I also am selling personal items.)
I’ve updated my website and have SpeakStrong Solutions listed on the right side of my home page. These are the very practical tools I provide in my training sessions.
This Week in the World
Unsolicited Advice
“You read the article too,” Joannie, the clerk at the Medicine Shoppe remarked. There has been a run on white iodine in Colorado Springs since Heloise recommended it for brittle nails last week. Joannie had sold her last one, but went on to say, “I can tell you what works for my nails. I take gelatin every day and my nails never break."
I wasn’t looking for nutritional advice, I was looking for white iodine, but I decided to research Joannie’s suggestion.
My research on gelatin uncovered a controversy. The initial articles debunked the “myth” of gelatin. Then I discovered a wealth of personal posts from people who swear it works. Eventually I was able to find scientific articles that support the idea that gelatin is effective.
Unsolicited advice can be tricky. People might not appreciate it, what works for you might not work for them, and people can find something that debunks every suggestion you could make.
Does that mean Joannie was wrong to give me advice I never asked for? No. It means she took a risk to give it, but she wasn't wrong. Joannie told me what worked for her. It’s up to me to decide what to do with it.
When I gave a friend unsolicited advice yesterday, I requested permission first. I asked, "Can I tell you what I would tell you if you were asking my advice?" She granted me permission and took the input to heart.
It’s too soon to tell if my friend will apply my advice, and it's too soon to tell if gelatin will help my nails. But my friend said it helped her think about the situation, and I’ve been making some soup broths my grandmother would be proud of.
Have a great week, and share what works for you with others.
Post a comment in our blog, here.
PowerPhrase of the Week
I Am Always Learning Something
The week before last, I received a thank-you note from someone for information I shared at a meeting. I noticed this man had personalized printed thank-you notes, which suggested to me that he sent out a lot of them. Good move.
Last week, a friend sent me an email about how she appreciated something I had said. She told me,
- I always learn something about myself whenever I interact with you. Today, your words of wisdom about always having a 'choice' in dealing with your son was very helpful.
It means a lot to people to have their contributions acknowledged, and by making the acknowledgement specific, my friend made it more powerful.
comment
Poison Phrase of the Week
You're Broke, Aren't You?
It was a prosperity seminar. Someone raised his hand to ask a question about a comment the leader made that didn’t sound right to him.
The leader responded with,
-You’re broke, aren’t you?
The implication was that only unsuccessful people would question what he said.
I wonder how many people held their questions after that put-down. It sounded like a classic attempt to silence dissent by attacking the credibility of the questioner.
comment
Ask Meryl
Handling Interruptions
Meryl,
Recently I've experienced a barrage of interruptions when I'm talking to someone at work. I'll be involved in a conversation with someone, including my boss in his office, and someone will interrupt the conversation to talk with the person to whom I'm talking. Some of the interrupters are people of a higher rank in the company than I am, and others are on the same level.
When these things happen, I'm disturbed both by the discourtesy of the person interrupting and by the accepting of the situation by the person to whom I was talking.
I'd like to Speak Strong when this happens but am unsure how to do so without either sounding petty or "shooting myself in the foot"
professionally. Any thoughts?
Meryl Responds
This is trickier than it would be if they were interrupting to speak with you, but here are some options.
If it happens frequently with the same person, after an interruption, say to that person,
- I'd like for us to decide on some kind of protocol for when our conversations are interrupted? I'd speak for myself, but since you outrank me and many of the interrupters do too, it doesn't seem appropriate. It's a very uncomfortable situation for me and I'd like to work out a game plan about how to handle those interruptions with you. Are you open to brainstorming with me?
You also can bow out every time it happens. You can say,
I'll get back to my work. Let me know when you're ready for me again.
Or you can tell this person after the offense:
- I notice when we are interrupted the conversation defers to the interrupter. I feel uncomfortable when this happens, so when it happens in the future I'll bow out and wait for you to call me in. Does that work for you?
Or:
- I notice when we are interrupted the conversation defers to the interrupter. I feel uncomfortable when this happens, so when it happens in the future I'd like it if you could ask the interrupter to pause long enough for us to figure out when we will continue our conversation. Does that work for you?
Of course, if you have a casual relationship with either of the people you can feign playful exaggerated indignance and say,
- Hey. He was talking to me!
I'm sure my readers will have more.
Got a question? Send it to us at SpeakStrong. We answer as many questions as we can personally. We may use your question in the newsletter anonymously unless we are asked not to. When we respond, please email us back to tell us you received the response and give us feedback.
Reader Success Story
I Am Not My Hair Color
My wife is a redhead. She is getting frustrated after years of continual comments linking her hair color with anger or other negative characteristics. In our discussions I considered the process -acknowledge the person's direction, state your own and give an alternative. I came up with "I realize you're having some fun, but I've been listening to shots about my red hair all my life and I still don't find them funny. Will you think twice before you have another go?"
Yesterday one of our grandchildren, a 15 month-old, was exhibiting some stubbornness. A friend linked her attitude to her rich golden-red hair. My wife gave the phrase a try. It didn't come out word perfect but the result was an immediate and profuse apology which was received and accepted with appreciation.
I think we'll be teaching our grandchild some power phrases as soon as she learns to talk.
comment
Reader Comments on Previous Newsletters
Click and scroll down for the latest posts.
An End to Hugs
We Forgot to Tell You
Format Feedback
Medical Apartheid
What Do You Think? |
