Welcome to My Several Hundred New Subscribers
Welcome to the hundreds of new subscribers from ISO, Training 2007, CoAll, NAWBO, MPI, and NSAVA. I’ll do my best to make this week’s newsletter representative. If you like the newsletter, please pass it on. If it doesn’t serve your needs, information (that I hope you don't need) about how to be removed is in the column on the right.
I invite you to visit my website and particularly to take advantage of my free online tools available there.
It was great meeting you all in the last few weeks.
This Week in the World
"The Secret" Influence, Practice Makes Permanent, Amazon Outlook Is Good
It’s been a hectic few weeks where I’ve been home just long enough to unpack and repack. I’m playing catch-up so if I am taking longer than usual to respond to some of you, know that I’m getting there.
Basketball Movie Like me, most people who counted the number of passes between white T-shirted players in the basketball movie missed the unexpected intruder in during the first viewing. It’s a powerful illustration of how selective focus can be.
"The Secret" Influences Dialogue When I asked my chiropractor if my extensive travels were showing up as tension in my spine he said, “There are opportunities for release here.” I found it interesting that he framed it in terms of what we wanted (release) rather than what we didn’t want, (tension). I often talk about the importance of favoring what you want, but I find that some people take this to the extreme of being unwilling to acknowledge anything undesirable. Since the rise of the popularity of the movie “The Secret”, I’ve noticed people whitewashing reality to avoid "attracting things" they don’t want. It sometimes is necessary to acknowledge things as they are and then speak about what we want to create. In my chiropractor's case it wasn't - I left feeling much more relaxed than I came.
Practice Makes Permanent I realized last night that I need to draw from my own tool box and practice a phrase until it slides automatically off my tongue. When people ask if I accept credit cards, I’ve been forgetting to mention that I don’t accept American Express. My plan is to practice the phrase “Yes I do, except for American Express” hundreds of times, so in the future my bookkeeper won’t have to call customers to get a card we do accept when I come back from an event.
Chances Are Good on the $100 Amazon Contest Prize Sales have improved, but there are no new reviews on Amazon to compete for the $100 prize for the most informative review on my book How to Say It: Performance Reviews. Many of my new subscribers bought a copy at my presentations, so click here to learn about the contest.
Post a comment in our blog, here.
PowerPhrase of the Week
I Am the Voice of Your Customer
My PowerPhrase and Poison Phrase of the week both come from the International Standards Organization Conference in Orlando this week.
“Cassie” is an auditor who had a client who resisted her findings. She got her client to pay attention by saying,
- Don’t think of what I’m saying as coming from me, your auditor. Think of what I tell you as the voice of your customer.
He listened.
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Learn the words to cut through resistance in PowerPhrases: The Perfect Words to Say it Right and Get the Results You Want
Poison Phrase of the Week
A Major Non-Conformance
“Joe” used “Fred” as a subcontracting auditor until the client said he didn’t want Fred to come near. The reason was that every time he found the slightest issue he said;
- That’s a major non-conformance.
By lunchtime the client was terrified – unnecessarily. Joe tried to get Fred to understand that he was overreacting. Joe suggested that if the client had a hangnail, Fred might label it a major non-conformance. Fred seemed unable to dial it down a bit so Joe ended up not using him any more. A PowerPhrase is as strong as it needs to be and no stronger – and when the expression is too strong for the situation, it becomes a Poison Phrase.
Learn more about avoiding the use of Poison Phrases that create resistance in How to Use PowerPhrases.
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Ask Meryl
Undercover for the Boss?
Meryl,
My boss wants to pick my brain about my co-workers — including very personal matters such as their marital woes as well as office feuds. How can I respond?
Meryl's Response
I’d say;
• (Name), you know everyone likes to look good to their bosses. I’m not comfortable discussing people’s personal lives with anyone, but particularly not with someone in your position.
• I have a policy of not spreading personal information about people, and that goes double with the boss.
• Can we make an agreement that if there’s anything I really believe you need to know to manage, that I’ll tell you, but not if it doesn’t apply? I’m not comfortable discussing my coworkers’ personal lives.
If it’s a casual relationship and your boss can handle some feistiness, say,
• Are you thinking I’m a double agent here? I’d rather not discuss that.
Be friendly in your response – avoid a tone that shames him/her for asking. And emphasize the fact that you are reluctant to answer the questions because you are aware that the boss holds power, not because you are unaware that the boss has a position of power.
Comments
Contrary to popular opinion, most bosses are open to direct communication when it is delivered in a respectful and friendly manner. PowerPhrases helps you manage your boss.
Got a question? Send it to us at SpeakStrong. We answer as many questions as we can personally. We may use your question in the newsletter anonymously unless we are asked not to. When we respond, please email us back to tell us you received the response and give us feedback.
Reader Success Story
Taking Turns Talking
After hearing you speak at ISO two years ago, and reading your newsletters, I got up the courage to request that my boss allow me to speak uninterrupted. I said,
I would like you to let me speak and after I am finished I’d like to give you ample time to tell me what you think.” This approach worked so well that now we not only have a boss-employee dialogue, we have respect. There are some other managers who think it’s not possible to get this person to hear them, but I know better now.
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Reader Comments on Previous Newsletters
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Please Let Me Tell You What I'm Afraid Of
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