This Week in the World
Nega-Bugs, Nega-Bites and Justi-Flies, More "Secret Influence"
My husband Bob loves to create systems for everything, including for changing how he thinks. This week he has named his negative thoughts “Nega-Bugs” which he needs to watch out for so he doesn’t get any “Nega-Bites.” It’s tough, though, because most “Nega-Bugs” are no-see-ums. He is becoming more aware of the "Justi-Flies" that tend to swarm when things get tense. I’d love any contributions you can offer to this system.
In other news, my friend Ruth watched the movie The Secret last week and decided with a friend that they would put the principles into action and visualize something they wanted. Since she and I had been talking about how difficult her relationship with her mom is, I asked if she was going to visualize improvement in their relationship. Ruth declined because she couldn’t begin to picture that.
In Chapter 7 of How to Use PowerPhrases, I talk about how PowerPhrases are targeted, meaning the speaker sets a goal for the conversation and chooses words accordingly. If you can’t picture a successful outcome, you can’t pick words to make it happen.
It's important to see things as they are and then to picture them as you want them to be. If you can’t picture a perfect outcome, at least picture an improved one. Change comes in steps. See the Jim Cathcart quote in the right column of this newsletter.
Post a comment in our blog, here.
PowerPhrase of the Week
I Did Some Homework Before Contacting You
I’ve been talking to web developers lately, and one in particular stood out for me. Here’s what he said,
- I took a look at your website (www.speakstrong.com ). I have some thoughts and can give you some direction that should provide immediate results. I took a look at your traffic and see you get a little under 2000 visits a month. I also noticed that your site has some very special element to it that you could leverage.
The other developers I had spoken with were very nice and clearly were talented and competent - but this one did some homework which helped to convince me he could give me the kind of service I seek. Watch for changes on my website in the weeks to come. And when you speak, do it in a way that shows you've done your homework too.
comment
Learn the words to catch your listener's interest at: PowerPhrases: The Perfect Words to Say it Right and Get the Results You Want
Poison Phrase of the Week
Are You Going to Be This Crazy...?
Jordon couldn’t reach Karl when he needed him, and by the time Karl got back to him, Jordon was quite agitated. Karl asked,
- Are you going to be this crazy through the whole project?
Jordon felt justified in expecting a more timely response from Karl, but even if he hadn’t been justified, Karl's wording was inflammatory. A better approach would have been to establish agreements about what reasonable expectations would be.
Learn more about avoiding the use of Poison Phrases that create resistance in How to Use PowerPhrases.
comment
Ask Meryl
Too Much Visual Information
Meryl,
This afternoon, the lady who cleans our office mentioned that she became a grandmother last week. As we were talking, she pulled out her cell phone to show me the photographs of the new baby. I was admiring the little bundle of joy when, with no warning, she clicked on a series of close-up photos that showed the actual birth. (As my Grandmother would say: I saw her whole name and address.)
Meryl, I know where babies come from. But I hardly know and I've certainly never met her son's girlfriend. And now I've seen pretty much all there is to see of this young woman. I pretended it didn't bother me, but inside I just froze. She continued to click through the pictures and I made "la la" talk, but I was just locked up.
Meryl, what would Pippi have said?
Meryl's Response
I admit, I laughed at your question. For those who are new to SpeakStrong, Pippi is a cute sufed giraffe and she's my symbol for speaking from a high level. Pippi would probably figure it’s a one-time occurrence and let it go, but if she really didn’t want to see the pics, she would have said,
- Thanks but I’ll pass on these,
Or,
- I’m not comfortable seeing these,
Or,
- I like to pretend that babies come from storks. Please, tell me it’s true.
Comments
Learn to set boundaries in your copy of PowerPhrases! Order today.
Got a question? Send it to us at SpeakStrong. We answer as many questions as we can personally. We may use your question in the newsletter anonymously unless we are asked not to. When we respond, please email us back to tell us you received the response and give us feedback.
Reader Success Story
Role-Play
We used role-play to practice how we say things. We'd practice sarcasm and threats and all the things you told us not to do, and then practiced saying them as PowerPhrases - clear, kind and direct. It was very fun, and we learned a lot.
PowerPhrases is packed with practical communication tools.
comment
Reader Comments on Previous Newsletters
Click and scroll down for the latest posts. I love what the dialogue opens up.
A Caustic Coworker
Please Let Me Tell You What I'm Afraid Of
Check With Me First
Basketball Video
Weight Comments
Owning Her Life After Incest
Unsolicited Advice
Because We Are a Great Democracy
|
