This Week in the World
Imus: the Poster Boy of Media Slurs / New Articles
The news this week was filled with controversy
around radio announcer Imus’ racial and sexist slur about the
Rutgers woman's basketball team. The news coverage even overtook the
identification of the father of Anna Nicole Smith’s baby.
Imus’ remarks were far over the line of
acceptability. Even so, I can understand why he was baffled by the
intensity of the reaction. These types of slurs and worse usually go
unchallenged. In fact, they are usually rewarded in the ratings. It's a
bit like a habitual speeder getting a ticket one day for going 10 miles
over the speed limit while others drive by at 15 or 20 miles over.
Like the execs at NBC, I take no joy in Imus'
dismissal. However, I feel a great sense of hope that something
significant happened. Perhaps...just maybe...the tide is turning and
we've decided we want our airwaves used for people to say what they mean
and mean what they say - but meanness that serves no purpose is not what
we want at all. Maybe we're ready to resist toxic speech instead of reward
it.
New Articles on the SpeakStrong Site: These days
I’m focused on organizing my website in a way where people can
access information by topic. That means I’ll be writing a lot of new
articles and expanding on previous newsletter postings.
I have posted three new articles to start the
process off.
Some Boats Need to Be Rocked
This article tells my personal tale of losing my
voice and finding it again.
Speak to Create Anticipation: How Foreshadowing Can
Hook Your Listeners and Even Get You a Job
This article explains how creating anticipation can
be a powerful communication tool.
Don’t Be Seduced by a Shady Sales Rep: Six
Indications You're Talking to a Shark
An expansion on last week’s newsletter post about red flags that
indicate you may not want to do business with someone.
Post a comment in our blog, here.
PowerPhrase of the Week
This Could Be My Daughter
When NBC President Steve Capus asked employees how
they felt about Imus' offensive remarks, one responded,
- This could be my daughter he targeted.
Rutgers's coach Vivian Stringer commented,
- The young ladies and I needed to put a face behind
the remarks... He needs to know who these young ladies were that he hurt.
There's a tendency to forget that we're dealing with
individual feeling human beings. Putting a face on people who are targeted
reminds us.
When you make a case, put a face on it.
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Be your own advocate. PowerPhrases: The Perfect
Words to Say it Right and Get the Results You Want tells you how.
Poison Phrase of the Week
Force
Last week I mentioned that quoting yourself will
focus you on what you have to say. That was the edited version. My initial
draft said
- Quoting yourself will force you to take a close
look at what you have to say.
I changed it, because while most of us don’t
like to be forced to do something, we value focus.
Learn more about word choice in How to Use
PowerPhrases.
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Ask Meryl
Indirect Negativity
Meryl,
I am the manager of an employee that I feel needs
to be disciplined due to bad attitude. This employee has been written up
in the past and ever since the write up now makes negative remarks openly
within the department just loud enough so co-worker friends can hear. The
remarks are always made in a way that prevents correction due to them not
being made directly at someone. The times I have attempted to make
correction this employee immediately pretends she is not pointing comments
at anyone in particular. Could you please provide speak strong correction
suggestions for how to address someone that is so good at making their
negative comments in this manner?
Meryl Responds
Words don't need to be directed toward someone to
be actionable. It sounds like they have an impact as presented, and that
impact needs to be addressed.
However, I do recommend you focus on the behavior
and its impact instead of the attitude.
When someone who works for me displays a bad
attitude, my first line of conversation is an attempt to see if anything
is going on that is causing malaise. I might say,
- When you say things like that it causes me to
wonder if you don’t want to be here or if there’s something
bothering you. Because it sounds negative and leads me to think
you’re not happy here. Is there something we can address that can
help?
Sometimes you’ll uncover an issue that has
nothing to do with the incidents.
If there isn’t anything, let her know the
effect her words have. Say,
- Are you aware of the impact of remarks
like…? I understand and appreciate the fact that you no longer
address negative comments to people directly, but your remarks still have
a demoralizing impact. Is that your intent, or are you unaware of the
impact?
Then, remind her every time
she does it.
Comments
PowerPhrases helps you FACE your problems with the
four-step FACE formula.
Got a question? Send it to us at SpeakStrong. We
answer as many questions as we can personally. We may use your question in
the newsletter anonymously unless we are asked not to. When we respond,
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feedback.
Reader Success Story
Offensive Air Spray
Recently I asked one of the
managers in our office that he not spray an air freshener he had been
generously spraying in his office and which wafted out to us cubicle
dwellers. I wrote him a short note and left it on his desk. The note was
asking that if I missed seeing him when he got into the office, would he
please not spray the air freshener for awhile because my allergies were
bothering me. He came to my cube and said he had read the note and he
"didn't care" if my allergies were bothering me and, then he laughingly
said that his allergies were bothering him too and that he shouldn't spray
the freshener.
Later that day, he sprayed again. I let it pass.
However, the next morning he sprayed the mist again. This time I went to
the door of his office and asked if he had a minute. He said no, that he
was expected on a call. He came to my cubicle an hour or so later and
asked what I wanted.
I asked him if he and I were having issues that I
was not aware of. He asked, "What do you mean?" I said, "I asked that you
not spray the freshener because my allergies are really bad right now, and
you sprayed yesterday afternoon and again this morning." He made the
excuse that he had sprayed the day before because "some male did his
thing" in his office. He didn't address why he did it in the morning;
however, I could see that he got the message because he hasn't sprayed
again this week.
It felt good to address my concern with him before
taking any further actions with his supervisor or mine. He has been
cordial and friendly, so I expect that if I have a concern with him, I can
go to him. I hope I don't have to.
comment
Reader Comments on Previous Newsletters
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