New articles:
Speak Strong’s Official List of Offensive Words: Survey Reveals the Top Ten Poison Phrases to Avoid Using
A summary of results from a SpeakStrong Survey determining the top pet peeves to avoid.
How to Bridge the Four Different Communication Styles: Seven Steps to Communication Style Development
Seven quick tips to help you communicate with the four different communication styles: Achiever, Reflective, Likeable, and Visionary. Bridges the gap between communication styles.
A Tale of Pippi and Izzie: How to Elevate Your Word Choice by Elevating Your Thinking
SpeakStrong Metaphors.
This Week in the World
A Thoughtful Gesture
I received a lovely surprise this week. Peter, an Australian gentleman who received a Pippi giraffe for sharing a success story spontaneously sent me a photo of himself with his award.
I was touched by his thoughtfulness and delighted to see him with his giraffe. You can see him too here, and learn more about the I Said It Strong Award. I invite more of you to send in your communication success stories, and send me a photo once you receive your giraffe.
http://www.speakstrong.com/articles/speakstrong-award.html
comment
Go for a Communication Transformation. Get the entire SpeakStrong Library.
PowerPhrase of the Week
I Am Not Frightened by Anger
When Bill raised his voice in an apparent attempt to intimidate Gloria, she replied,
- I am not frightened by anger. Let’s focus on the facts here.
Her words called Bill on his tactics without actually accusing him of using them. The conversation got back on track.
comment
Poison Phrase of the Week
Your Neglect
When Jordon received Jill’s order, he replied,
- You neglected to specify formatting.
This sentence has two problems. It uses "you language", which put the problem clearly at Jill’s feet, and the word neglected is negative and sounds accusatory. He would have done better to simply request the formatting specs.
comment
Read the indepth description of: How to Use
PowerPhrases.
Ask Meryl
What to Say When the Boss Wants You to Tattle
Even with HIPPA in place, when people take medical leave, it often becomes gossip fodder. My managers have approached me saying, "I/we know you know what's going on with _________, so what's the deal?" Of course, I never would admit to having any inside information on the person or their affairs.
What should I say when a manager pressures me to share personal information about my coworkers?
Meryl Responds
Let them know you need to protect your sources or you won’t have any. It’s in management’s interest for you to have the trust and confidence of your coworkers. If you violate that trust, you’ll be kept out of the loop, and even if you don’t disclose the specifics, you can provide better support to management when you are in the loop. So you might say to your manager,
• That’s not for me to say. If I share my coworkers’ confidences, I’ll lose them. I’m more useful to you if I am kept in the loop of what’s going on.
Also,
• I was told that in confidence. When you confide in me, I respect your privacy, and I need to extend the same courtesy to them.
If it’s a legal issue, a stronger response would be appropriate. Something like:
• That information is protected by law, so I’ll keep us both out of trouble by not responding.
Or:
• Are you aware that information is protected by law? I know some people discuss that kind of thing freely, but I have a policy not to.
On the other hand, don’t let yourself get put in the situation of keeping secrets that management should know. For example, if someone confides in you that they are leaving and asks you to keep it secret and you find out that management is considering putting that person on a key project, it puts you in an unfair situation of divided loyalties. I recommend heading off that situation by saying,
• Please don’t confide anything in me that you don’t want me to tell my manager.
Readers?
There's lots of information about how to communicate up the ladder in PowerPhrases!. Enjoy the in-depth description here.
comments
Reader Success Story
Talking to Teens
I am older and occasionally feel challenged by today's teenagers. Today had a different twist. On my early morning drive into the city, I turned into a housing estate to pick up a pool-rider and came across a pair of teenagers walking down the middle of the road in the dark. With a beanie, hoodie, shirt and trousers all in black, I had trouble seeing one of them and swerved to avoid him.
As I picked up my ride, I wondered if I would bother to say something. Usually I would not, out of fear of a confrontation. I thought about how to "say what I mean, mean what I say and not be mean about it."
On the way out of the estate I stopped in the road and pointed across to the young man at the bus stop on the other side of the road.
"You, with the cigarette."
"Yeah."
"With the clothes you're wearing, I had trouble seeing you in the middle of the road."
"Uh sorry."
"Just a safety thing mate, you have a good day."
"Uh yeah."
It worked. The next day they were walking on the side of the road.
comment
Reader Comments on Previous Newsletters
Click and scroll down for the latest posts.
Conversation is Broken (Second post)
Like
A Conversation About Conversations
Phrases for a Conversation About Conversations
|
