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Check out our free features - particularly my Quote and Tip of the Day and my free four week eCourse.
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How to say anything to anyone: Communication Style Teleseminar
August 2nd and 8th
This Week in the World
One reality, two communication styles
“There’s no one here at all,” my stepmom complained. She and my dad just arrived at their summer lake cabin. Back 40 years ago, the lake bustled with activity. Over the years, many of the smaller people-packed cabins gave way to empty mansions.
When my father came on the line, I said, “I hear it’s just you and the loons.”
“No,” he replied. “There are a few people here.”
This is not the first time my stepmom and dad described the same reality in vastly different ways. My stepmom sees the big picture and blocks out details that contradict her conclusions. My dad sees the details and blocks out the big picture. My stepmom exaggerates to amplify her point. My dad is literal which minimizes the point.
They’ve been married 37 years.
My next teleseminar will teach you how to communicate with people whose styles differ so much from yours, you wonder if they’re really speaking English.
If you haven't taken the style quiz, it's here.
Learn more about the teleseminar here.
Book Review
Made to Stick
I've read several excellent books recently. Here's a Speak Strong review of Made to Stick - a powerful communication, branding and marketing book is located here.
Go for a Communication Transformation. Get the entire SpeakStrong Library.
PowerPhrase of the Week
Change How You Listen
For Better or Worse had a wonderful thread about a special needs student who had all the teasing she could take and addressed the entire lunchroom. Her crowning remark was,
• I can’t change how I talk but you can change how you listen.
The students exploded in applause.
Check out my communication style teleseminar.
Poison Phrase of the Week
Joe Was Surprised
For 20 years I’ve worked to eliminate my passive communication. Since our recent copyediting teleseminar I’ve been on an accelerated mission to use the active voice almost exclusively. Here’s how I sum up the active voice: Someone does something to someone. The old way (something is done to someone) was as backwards as my thinking when I once apologized to a client because he came a half hour late.
Here’s an example of the passive voice:
- Joe was surprised by Jenny’s appearance.
That became:"Jenny’s appearance surprised Joe."
I decided to take it one step further. I made Joe the doer and showed Joe's surprise instead of telling about it. Here’s the end result:
"Joe asked Jenny three times if it was really her before he believed it."
I like practicing new writing skills.
Read the in-depth description of: How to Use PowerPhrases.
Ask Meryl
Tone it Down Without Losing it
Since I moved to the South, people tell me to tone my directness down. Some of the phrases in Perfect Phrases for Managers and Supervisors are too direct for me here. What can I do?
Meryl Responds
1. Emphasize what you want over what you don’t want.
2. Show employees how to correct an error with minimal focus on the error itself.
3. Acknowledge employees daily to create a positive balance for when you need to offer corrective feedback.
4. When you correct an error, acknowledge their good intentions or their ability to get it right – something that helps them save face.
5. Take the communication style quiz, attend my communication teleseminar, and study your recommendations.
There's lots of information about how to communicate up the ladder in PowerPhrases. Enjoy the in-depth description here.
Reader Success Story
The Perfect Hire
I stumbled across your book, Perfect Phrases for Managers and Supervisors at a Barnes and Noble while waiting for my wife and daughter. At the time I was trying to decide whether to hire someone for a supervisory position. I started browsing the book when I came across the phrases regarding leadership, which is what I was trying to draw out of the employee. They worked. I felt very comfortable that the person I hired will be able to do the job. I want to purchase the 3-Book Management Special
Get Your 3-Book Management Special Here
Reader Comments on Previous Newsletters
Blog post of the week:
It was a tough call. Check out the many great posts. Here's the excerpt I selected from Dave's post.
"Being human is not about being perfect, it is about aiming for perfection in spite of our issues and understanding being human is what makes us understand others as well as ourselves. Conformity is the highest act of cowardice. Remember, letting go of people to choose their own path is good for then and releases you for your growth."
More comments: Click and scroll down for the latest posts.
Owning Her Life After Incest (Scroll waaaay down.)
Speak as if every word matters.
It does.
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Issue 277
July 17th, 2007 |
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Ask Meryl
We will respond with our best suggestions. We may publish your question and response anonymously unless you request that we only respond privately. We appreciate your feedback on our response. If we publish your question, be sure to Check Meryl's Blog... ...for further suggestions from our readers.
SpeakStrong Quote
from Meryl
"The way you speak and the way you write reflects and affects the way you think."
~ Meryl Runion~
SpeakStrong Definition
To express yourself both powerfully & effectively;
to say what you mean,
mean what you say,
without being mean
when you say it.
"We can put an end to this
type of dialogue the same
way we put an end to racist dialogue in the South: because
decent people objected."
Elizabeth Edwards