How to
say anything to anyone: Communication Style
Teleseminar
August 2nd and 8th
I understand that teleseminars are new for many of you, so I created an FAQ (frequently asked question) page. If you have questions that I don’t address, please ask them.
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Movie Time: Sicko – a SpeakStrong Review
I wanted to know why Michael Moore’s Sicko was getting such great reviews, so I went to see for myself. Read my review from a Speak Strong perspective here.
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Book Review: Hypnotic Writing – a SpeakStrong Review
Joe Vitale is hot in the persuasion and marketing industry these days. But do his methods meet SpeakStrong standards? Find out in this week's review of his book Hypnotic Writing.
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How bad is it?
Although I’ve been teaching communication styles for years, I didn’t think about my father and step mom’s communication in those terms until I wrote about it last week. When I applied my style descriptions to them, I got a new perspective that changes how I hear what they say and how I interpret remarks from the past. Like this one…
Recently, my parents drove by the house they sold after living in it for 35 years. They wanted to see how the new owners had remodeled it. They got an eyeful. My step mom was “horrified” and the front lawn was a “parking lot.” There “wasn’t a blade of grass left.” The house “looked like a mausoleum.”When she told me, I took her descriptions literally. Now I wondered if the situation was as grim as the picture I had in my mind based on her portrayal.
I posed this question to a family friend who responded to my last week’s ezine. She had emailed to tell me she enjoyed my account of my parent’s conversation because she could “almost hear them talking.” She suggested that my step mom’s style reflects a Southern Belle Style, where “Nothing is good, it’s ‘the best thing ever.’ One never has a bad time at an event, it’s ‘an absolute disaster.’ Everything is ‘bigger than life.’”People who share a bigger-than-life communication style know how to talk to each other. They also know how to listen to each other. The rest of us mortals don’t always get it. The rest of us are prone to taking their poetic license literally.
The value of understanding communication styles is not just to learn how to speak to each other, it’s to learn how to listen. That’s why I recommend that you register now for my upcoming communication seminar.
How bad is the old Nashville homestead? I’ll find out. Our Nashville family friend offered to take pictures so I can see for myself.
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Upcoming Teleseminar
My next teleseminar will teach you how to communicate with people whose styles are different from yours...and it will teach you how to listen too.
If you haven't taken the style quiz, it's here.
Learn more about the teleseminar here .
Go for a Communication Transformation. Get the entire SpeakStrong Library
Toastmaster's Article
When a reader told me she was planning a presentation about Speak Strong at her Toastmasters club, I sent her bookmarks, stickers and other items, and I wrote an article about Toastmasters. You can read it too - here.
PowerPhrase of the Week
That's Fascinating. Tell Me More.
My father asked what I’d been up to yesterday and when I told him I spoke to the Society of Women Engineers he wanted to know all about it. I explained that I spoke about how technical people can be persuasive by communicating to all three brains. My dad couldn’t hear enough. At one point my father said,
- That’s fascinating. Tell me more.
I have many wonderful people in my life, but just a few that I really send the message that they respect my knowledge. My father, at 87 years old, is still one of those few. I feel blessed.
Interest is a powerful thing. Try it.
And if you have tales of people who inspired you with their interest, please post them in the blog.
Check out my communication style teleseminar
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Poison Phrase of the Week
How to seduce your customers
Joe Vitale is a marketer extraordinaire that you (and I) can learn a lot from. But as with everything, it’s important to take the best and leave the rest. His book Hypnotic Writing is generally excellent. My first objection is to the subtitle.
- How to Seduce and Persuade Your Customers with Only Your Words
The definition of seduce is to lead astray. I want to lead on course. I recommend the book despite my objections to the title, with this caveat: Reader beware.
To learn more, read my complete review here.
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Read the in-depth description of: |
Ask Meryl
I don't know
How do you deal with people who keep saying they don’t know how, even when you’ve taught them already? Meryl Responds
Note: My response is below. There's a better one on the blog that I decided to post as today's success story. The question was posted and answered on the You Need a Meeting post.
If you’re their manager, you make sure it’s part of their job description, document when you train them and when they claim not to know, you remind them with the phrase,
- We’d better get on this because it’s part of how your performance is measured and you will need to know it .
- Is there anything else you need to know in order to be able to complete this in the future?
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There's lots of information about how
to communicate up the ladder in PowerPhrases. Enjoy the in-depth description here. |
Reader Success Story
I'll Look at it With You
I had a co-worker who kept coming to me asking for help troubleshooting the same PC issues over and over. I knew the problem wasn’t she didn’t know the answer. The problem was she wanted me to do the work for her. And, darn my hide, I did it!
Then I wised up. Instead of saying “Sure, I’ll look at it for you,” I said, “Sure, I’ll look at it WITH you.” I asked her to bring a notebook with her when we visited the PC. I got a strange look, but she complied. I showed her how to deal with the issue once again and made sure she wrote down the steps.
A few days later, she came to me again for the same issue. I said, “Oh, the notes you took should take care of that issue. Let me know if you have questions, though.”
I repeated the process for a couple other issues, but after the second or third time, she got the message. Now, she just comes to me when she really does need help. Her technical skills improved. My temper improved. It was a real win-win! :+)
Comment Get Your 3-Book Management Special Here
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The blog post of the week is the success story.
Thanks for all your great posts!
More comments:
Click and scroll down for the latest posts.
Owning Her Life After Incest (The conversation continues. Scroll waaaay down.)
A Communication Tale of Toilet Training Trauma
Why is the Happening Again?
Joe Was Surprised
You Need a Meeting (really about people who hide behind "I don't know."
Thanks Sis (Edwards v Coulter)
College Ap's (There's a request for information)
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Issue
278 July 24th, 2007 |
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SpeakStrong Award
~~Ask Meryl
Do you have a communication challenge you'd like help with? Pass it along and I'll give it my best shot. I may publish it anonymously unless you request that I don't. It helps me if you tell me what you think of my suggestion. If I publish your question, be sure to check my Blog for further suggestions from our readers.
Check Meryl's Blog
SpeakStrong Definition
To express yourself both
powerfully & effectively.
To say what you mean,
mean what you say,
without being mean
when you say it.
powerfully & effectively.
To say what you mean,
mean what you say,
without being mean
when you say it.