Welcome MPI and Rock Island.
If you are receiving this in error, please scroll down for information about safe email removal.
Questions are the answer
I've been asking more questions lately. Before I respond to
someone, I'll ask myself if there's a question I could ask that
would help me understand what they are saying or asking. There
usually is, and the information usually moves the conversation
forward.
I've been asking better questions lately. I revised the
questions I ask my groups in my intergenerational seminar in
order to shape the dialog toward appreciation. I had lunch with
a friend who facilitates "Appreciative Inquiry" and I
asked all
kinds of questions about how to ask questions.
I'm like a kid with a new toy called questions. I'm in
Questions
Kindergarten and have a lot to learn. I'll be talking more about
questions in the weeks to come - and asking more questions of
you.
Questions like - what tips do you have about questions that you
can share? Do you have favorite questions that work for you?
I'd like actual numbers to base my decision on
Marla's investment counselor was asking her whether she wanted
to
put her money into a Sep account or a Single IRA account. The
difference was unclear to Marla, so she asked,
-
I'd like actual numbers to base my decision on.
Marla realized she needed more concrete information to make her
decision, so instead of deciding based on abstractions, she
asked for, and received, the specific information she needed.
Bonus PowerPhrase
I miss our routines
It was push-pull with Misty and Rob. Both worked at home, she
had
deadlines and he was tugging at her for attention. It occurred
to Misty that all their routine together times had dropped off,
and if they had planned togetherness, Rob might not feel the
need to interrupt her as often as he did. So instead of telling
him to leave her alone as she was tempted to do when he walked
in her office yet one more time, she turned to him and said,
-
I miss our routines. Let’s set some time
together we can count on.
They started with meals and added an afternoon walk. While it
was tough sometimes for Misty to drag herself away at the
designated times, overall she found it was more efficient - Rob
wasn’t interrupting her as often. And it enriched her
marriage,
too.
BTW, pre-planned interaction can work wonders and be an
interruption buster at work as well.
Blame it on TIVO
When I told a friend that I forgot to record the football game
my
husband had asked me to record, my friend suggested I:
- Blame it on TIVO. Tell him you had to reboot, and that it
didn’t record.
I confess I do consider what story I would tell if I were to
make one up, and there was a time when I would choose a
plausible lie over an uncomfortable truth every time. No more.
The discomfort over admitting my errors is pale in comparison to
the the pleasure of having an excuse-free life and total trust
in my relationships.
Bonus Poison Phrase
She's unpleasant on the phone
 |
Read the in-depth description of: |
No question this week
 |
There's lots of information about how to communicate |
Reader Success Story
Are you aware...
I had been having a hard time with a newly appointed head of
dept. This manager had little time for training and
development
and referred to the team as the 'cuddly and wooly brigade.'
When
I had a 1-1 meeting to discuss delivery of a 2 day course on
communication skills, I was met with the response: 'Not
interested. Don't care' This was repeated 2 more times when I
went on to describe the benefits for the managers in her dept.
I responded:
-
Boss, are you aware you have now said 'I
don't care' to me 3 times while we were
discussing your request for development for
your managers?
The reply was shock and a swift retreat with the meeting
ending
very amicably as I had previously allowed this type of
response
to go unnoticed.
Reader Comments on Previous Newsletters
Blog comments: (A quiet week)
Sexual harassment in the military
|
Issue
287
October 2, 2007 |
You are receiving this
by request.
SpeakStrong Award
Send in your success stories...
.and receive a free Pippi Giraffe
SpeakStrong Award.
Ask Meryl
We will respond with our best suggestions. We may publish your
question and response anonymously unless you request that we only respond
privately. We appreciate your feedback on our response. If we publish your
question, be sure to check Meryl's Blog for further suggestions from our
readers.
Check Meryl's Blog
SpeakStrong Definition
To express yourself both powerfully &
effectively;
to say what you mean,
mean what you say,
without being mean
when you say it.