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This Week in the World
I'm in the new Chicken Soup book -
Life Lessons for Loving the Way You Live
My story Some Boats Need to Be Rocked is included in the latest of the Chicken Soup Series, Life Lessons for Loving the Way You Live. I will say I feel qualified - I do love the way I live. I'm in great company with Suze Orne and Lynne Twist. It's a great collection of stories and is written to help the reader (you I hope) apply the lessons of the stories.
I've always liked the Chicken Soup books and this is my
new favorite. So far (I'm reading it one story at a time) I haven't had to
pull out my hankie. This book takes you to the height of inspiration without
first dragging you to the depths of desperation. It also tells you how to
apply each author's lesson to your own life.
I gave an interview on my local Fox News station this morning that
I will post in the next few days.
I am carrying Life Lessons in the SpeakStrong Store. Read more here:
Two great new articles:
Take the time to say it right: the folly of gotta-go communication
Dump and run, drive-by delegation and reckless relating.
Reasonableness is your best revenge
To escalate or not to escalate? You have more options than you
think.
PowerPhrase: Why would a reasonable person behave this way?
I love the book Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High . I receive their newsletter, and the last one I received provided important questions to ask YOURSELF that will help you choose words to deescalate a conversation with a hostile person. Here’s one -
-
Why would a reasonable, rational and decent person act this way?
The question is a fabulous tool to help you deescalate conflict. It helps you stand in the other person’s shoes and understand they behave the way they do for a reason.
You can read the newsletter here.
I recommend Crucial Conversations and Crucial Confrontations Value Pack
Poison Phrase of the Week
Is "Media Monitors" a criminal
organization?
Media Monitors” is a Web-based, not-for-profit research and information center that corrects and exposes political misinformation in the U.S. media. They regularly post corrections and highlight embarrassing reports by the “Stars” network. After one such episode, the Stars network ran a piece titled:
- Is “Media Monitors” a criminal organization?
The premise was a weak suggestion that because “Media Monitors” reviews political reporting, they are not entitled to their non-profit status. The report ignored the hundreds of similar organizations who perform similar functions with the same tax status.
The report did not need to convince anyone that “Media Monitors” is a criminal organization to achieve its goal. It only needed to make the suggestion to create doubt in viewer minds about the credibility of “Media Monitors.”
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Read the in-depth description of: |
Unwelcome houseguest
Every child and partner in our blended family has a key to our home. It symbolizes that even though they live elsewhere, they can come to a place of security and support anytime.
We have a daughter living overseas (my daughter by a previous marriage) who has a lot of issues and is difficult to cope with other than for a short time. She, her husband and toddler child stayed with us for a month in June. It was very difficult.
She has announced they are returning for a few months and are looking for rental accommodations, the implication being that they will stay with us until they find a place to rent. My wife refuses, and I support her decision, as she bears the brunt of the difficulties.
What can I say to my daughter?
Meryl says,
I have a few questions for you to ask yourself.
-
Did you stay silent about the problems last time?
Is it possible that they don’t have a clue that things were difficult?
And is it possible that they don’t know because you never indicated otherwise?
If so, you may need to own up to it. I’d say, -
(Daughter), we’re delighted you’re coming and we look forward to seeing you. I do need to tell you that we love our routines and would welcome you in our home for up to (days) but would like to have our home to ourselves after that. So if you need a place to stay while you look to rent, we welcome you for (days.)
Be ready to explain exactly what was disruptive about their visit. Be ready to say,
- When you were here last time, we weren’t honest about the issues involved with having the three of you here. I apologize for that, because I think you deserve the truth.
If you didn’t let her know there was a problem before, you denied them the opportunity to adjust. In any case, when you break the news, do let her know the many ways you look forward to their visit. There is such a thing as too much of a good thing, but it’s still a good thing.
Do you have a communication question? Then Ask Meryl.
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There's lots of information about how to communicate |
Reader Success Story
I will no longer tolerate this
We have a middle manager who is loud, profane, and appears to not care about how her words are perceived or affect others. This behavior has been consistent within the ranks, but apparently the manager’s boss and other key executives have not had occasion to witness it firsthand.
This has been a very tough situation to live with at times,
and
nearly everyone else has commented/complained about her,
including
me. The problem seemed to be that we weren’t commenting to
the right
people, just to each other. (more…)
Reader Comments on Previous Newsletters
Blog comments:
Sexual harassment in the military
Owning her own life after incest (Scroll wayyy down for latest)
Silent treatment from the boss *** Post of the week
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Issue
289
October 16, 2007 |
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We will respond with our best suggestions. We may publish your question and response anonymously unless you request that we only respond privately. We appreciate your feedback on our response. If we publish your question, be sure to check Meryl's Blog for further suggestions from our readers.
SpeakStrong Definition
To express yourself both powerfully &
effectively;
to say what you mean,
mean what you say,
without being mean
when you say it.