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This Week in the World
SpeakStrong Byline Selection is down
to two options
The vote is in. The wristbands will have "SpeakStrong" on the front and "Every Word Matters" on the back.
Unless they have "SpeakStrong" on the front and: "Be the voice of reason" on the back.
So the quest continues for yet one more week. The new survey link is here. Click Here to take survey
Thanks for all your great suggestions, and to all of you who took the time to vote. BTW: "Take the time to say it right" was next in line.
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PowerPhrase of the Week
Better things to think about
An Iowa waitress set the media straight last week when asked about rumors that a presidential candidate didn’t leave a tip. She said:
• There are better things to think about than who got a tip and who didn’t.
The waitress proceeded to list several global and domestic issues that she thought deserved more attention.
We need more people to keep the focus on what matters most in politics, business and in personal conversations.
Poison Phrase of the Week
Sorry to be blunt
Today's Poison Phrase comes from today's Ask Meryl. It's a question about a manager who speaks in a condsecending manner, hiding behind the remark:
- Sorry to be blunt
If you're sorry about something, don't do it. Apologizing in advance does not excuse inappropriate speech. And finally, it is possible to be straightforward without being blunt - and doesn't leave a trail of victims behind you.
Read Ask Meryl for the question and my response suggestions.
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Read the in-depth description of: |
Our manager “apologizes for being blunt” when talking with subordinates and colleagues. He’s really disrespectful and/or condescending. I’m all for honest feedback and/or robust discussions to move forward with work, but being disrespectful and condescending cuts off valuable participation of many valued workers. Many have decided to be silent rather than expose themselves to such an experience. What do we say to a person who uses their power position and rude comments to cut people off and put them down?
Meryl responds:
Say,
• "Name," I appreciate your directness and am happy there’s no need to guess what your opinion is. I think you may not be aware of when your directness becomes intimidating. It cuts off valuable discussion.
You can add:
• We’re afraid to be direct with you. In fact, I had to psyche myself up to talk with you now. Please be respectful in your responses.
You also can address issues as they arise,
• I’m interested in your point, but when you speak so bluntly, I find it difficult to get your message, and even more difficult to want to respond.
• Was that remark intended to shut the discussion down? Because that’s the effect it had.
• That felt like a bucket of cold water.
• Ouch!
• I found that remark intimidating. Did you intend it that way?
Be good-natured and informative in your communication, and it should be received as intended.
I tell a story about a woman who addressed issues with an overbearing boss in Chapter 4 of PowerPhrases! While her attempts were met with hostility, the manager applied the information and changed her behavior. Five years later, the manager actually acknowledged her for being the only person to ever address an issue with her. I tell you this because while addressing issues with the boss is high risk, if truth and reason is on your side, it is likely to be worth the risk.
Do you have a communication question? You can Ask Meryl.
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There's lots of information about how to communicate |
Reader Success Story
I know why he doesn't trust you
This week’s success story is a post on a previous post - blame it on tivo. The post talks about how lying undermines trust in relationships, even if the lie is relatively minor. Here is the post.
Nicely put. I have tried convincing people of this many times. My favorite was my sister who ordered a coffee of the month club so she could get the free coffee maker. She had it shipped to my house so she could tell her husband we gave it to them instead of admitting she spent $20. And then had the nerve to complain that he doesn’t trust her. I told her if you are willing to lie about a coffee maker, what happens when something comes up that is even harder to tell the truth about.
Reader Comments on Previous Newsletters
Blog comments:
We see this project differently Blogger asks a question and requests help
Also here
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Issue
293
November 13, 2007 |
SpeakStrong Award
Send in your success stories
and receive a free
Pippi Pangea Giraffe
SpeakStrong Award.
Ask Meryl
We will respond with our best suggestions. We may publish your question and response anonymously unless you request that we only respond privately. We appreciate your feedback on our response. If we publish your question, be sure to check Meryl's Blog for further suggestions from our readers.
SpeakStrong Definition
To express yourself both powerfully &
effectively;
to say what you mean,
mean what you say,
without being mean
when you say it.