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This Week in the World
A clear winner on the SpeakStrong
wristband byline
It's a landslide - the new SpeakStrong wristband will have the message "Every Word Matters" on the back.
"Every Word Matters" was suggested by S. Bremmer, who will receive five free wristbands. Thanks for all the dozens of suggestions and hundreds of votes. I'll let you know when the bands are available.
Speaking of contests... I won a contest for free ads on the Air America radio show, Clout. I had a lot of fun with it, and they helped me redo the ad to make it better. I'll post it when it's ready with an article that explains the techniques in the ad.
How did you hear it?
In last week's Democratic debate, Edwards accused Clinton of
defending a system that doesn't work and is broken and corrupt. Clinton
responded by saying, "When somebody starts throwing mud at least we can
hope it's accurate and not right out of the Republican playbook."
I heard the Edwards comment as a challenge to her policy rather than mud slinging. I heard Clinton's remark as a ploy to avoid responding. How did you hear it? (You can read about it here and comment on my blog.)
PowerPhrase: I'm not prepared to lie for myself, so I certainly won't lie for you
This week's PowerPhrase comes from a blog post. You can read the entire post here.
Great phrase. Thanks Beatrice.
Bonus PowerPhrase: Unassuming
In the must-read book 1984
I experienced the power of words on a personal level this week. Someone who heard an interview I gave on Air America radio used a precise adjective to describe me. She had missed my web address and asked host Richard Greene if he could give her the contact info for the
-
"unassuming"
woman she heard on the radio. (Me.)
While I don't claim to be free from assumption, I absolutely strive to be. The listener also referred to me as knowledgeable, but it was the "unassuming" that hit me.
As my upcoming wristband will state, Every Word Matters. If you choose your words with care, it could move your listener as much as this woman I've never met moved me.
Poison Phrase of the Week
Do what?
When Paul didn't understand Clive's point, he asked for clarification by saying,
- Do what?
This is an all-too-common way of saying you didn't hear a message, and comes across as dismissive since it has no reference to what was said.
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Read the in-depth description of: |
How do I handle a coworker who consistently contradicts me, and who won't accept accountability for her errors? I want to have a healthy friendship with her and don't want to jeopardize that by complaining.
Meryl responds
I used to do what your friend does. It was out of a desire to be helpful. I was stunned into awareness when I offered some advice to a friend who responded, “I know you, you always say no.”
I have a friend who still does this. In her case, I think it’s a desire to explore all sides of an issue – but I find myself polarized and it gets adversarial. We’re working out our own communication guidelines to get past the barriers.
Regarding your colleague’s adversarial nature, I’d say:
-
Are you aware that you tend to play devil’s advocate? It seems like you tend to take the opposite position from me, no matter what my position is. That leaves me feeling discounted. I’d like to be able to talk with you from the same side of the fence sometimes.
Regarding her unwillingness to take accountability, if she corrects the errors, I wouldn’t worry whether she owns them or not. If she doesn’t correct the errors – and if she gives a BS answer – say,
-
How can we make sure this doesn’t happen again?
I have responded to people who BS me by saying:
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That doesn't add up to me
…and then moving on to solutions. I can’t remember specific instances, but I do remember that it worked out just fine. You never know how she will respond to being called on her behavior until you try.
In my opinion, any relationship that is based on pretense isn’t really all that healthy anyway. If you can't be truthful about issues, it's a limited friendship.
Do you have a communication question? You can Ask Meryl.
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There's lots of information about how to communicate |
Reader Success Story
Clarity with a vendor
I have always struggled with wording what I want to say.
Recently, a supplier whom we used often in the past invited me to a
Show / luncheon for their company. They also mentioned
the fact that we have purchased considerably less in recent months.
I returned their email saying:
-
I did receive the invitation, unfortunately I will be unable to attend. We have been asked to use a supplier that happens to be a sister company -- however, I still depend on (supplier's name) for many items. Your pricing is better on most of them and several of them I can only get with you. Thank you for thinking of me and I regret that I cannot attend.
Since I started receiving your weekly emails (and yes, I own
a Power Phrases book) I have more confidence when I choose to
speak or email someone.
Reader Comments on Previous Newsletters
Blog comments:
Blame it on TIVO (Blog posts of the week)
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Issue
294
November 20, 2007 |
SpeakStrong Award
Send in your success stories
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Pippi Pangea Giraffe
SpeakStrong Award.
Ask Meryl
We will respond with our best suggestions. We may publish your question and response anonymously unless you request that we only respond privately. We appreciate your feedback on our response. If we publish your question, be sure to check Meryl's Blog for further suggestions from our readers.
SpeakStrong Definition
To express yourself both powerfully &
effectively;
to say what you mean,
mean what you say,
without being mean
when you say it.