If you are receiving this in error, please scroll down for information about safe email removal.
This Week in the World
Give Speaking Strong as a holiday gift.
After all, PowerPhrases! are cheaper by the
dozen...and even in smaller quantities.
Some of my readers have been buying my books in bulk to give as
gifts. You don’t have to buy huge quantities to get some really good
discounts. Check it out here.
Writer's voice interview
If you’re a writer, you may be interested in an interview I gave last week for a radio show called Writer’s Voices. I talked about how I write, why I write and how I became a writer. I enjoyed the interview tremendously and hope you do too. Check it out.
What would you like to know about how to talk to your political opposite?
I am planning a new blog about how to have reasonable dialog about political issues with people we care about who hold different views from out own. It will apply SpeakStrong principles to our personal political conversations. It won't be about party, politicians or pundits. It will be about how you can talk to your neighbor, sister or colleague without getting into a fist fight.
What questions do you have about political dialog? Would you like to know what to say when someone forwards you a virulent political email? Would you like to know how to respond when someone goes off on a hostile political rant? Is there something you'd like to know how to say?
The blog is many weeks away. Your input now will help me define my purpose. Please send questions here.
This Week in the World comment
PowerPhrase of the Week
Five minutes of your undivided attention now could save us hours
later
If you need to tell your boss he or she isn’t listening, here’s a great way to say it:
-
I know you have a lot on your plate and it’s difficult to give my issues full attention. However, I think with five minutes of your undivided attention now, we could create action steps that will save us hours later.
It acknowledges their situation and lets your need be known in a
way that supports their interests.
We'll work on that
Read about it on the blog.
We don't yank wisdom teeth out here, we slide them out
Read about it on the blog.
Poison Phrase of the Week
Poison Phrase pet peeves
This week I invite you to review the collection of Poison Phrases posted in response to a request I made months ago. There are 26 comments on the post including a new one from last week, so check them out.
 |
Read the in-depth description of: |
Ask Meryl
Adolescent communication
Hello Mrs. Runion,
I’m a junior in high school and am currently writing a research paper discussing adolescent communication and it’s connection to depression. While looking for good sources your page came up talking all about communication. I was thrilled! I’m looking into purchasing your book for effective communication skills to cite in my paper but I was wondering if you had anything specifically for a younger audience, discussing adolescent communication. Anything you can tell me would be a great help. Thank you!
Meryl responds
I absolutely believe lack of clear communication is related to depression. All I have to do is count the times I’ve lifted myself out of my own depression by clearly speaking what was in my heart. And talking to someone who really understood what I was saying was even better.
I used to write songs (amateur) to describe what I was going through, and when I got the right word, it also helped clear any dark moods I had.
The current adolescent culture includes many who come across as flippant. (Clearly you don't fit into this category.) As someone who was afraid to speak, I regard the outspoken teens I meet with some envy. At the same time, there’s a difference between dismissive communication and genuine communication. I think of some adolescents who offered bogus excuses when I asked why they didn't move out of the road when I drove up. They didn’t cower, but they weren’t authentic either. Defensive communication is no more healing than no communication.
Younger folks generally have looser communication boundaries than their elders did. They are far more likely to challenge the authorities in their lives. That’s not inherently good or bad, but it’s important for them to understand the context in which older folks hear their words. Whether they are being arrogant or not, your words can be taken that way.
If a conversation is authentic and well conducted, adults are less likely to be taken aback and resistant to a level of assertion the younger communicator practices that was foreign to the elder when they were teens.
I have an article about emotional communication on my web site. It addresses about developing a sophisticated vocabulary of feelings. I provide it because there is power in identifying the exact word. That article is here.
I plan to publish your question and my response in my newsletter tomorrow and also in my blog. Check it out to see if my readers make comments that are useful to you. I’d love to read your paper.
Do you have a communication question? You can Ask Meryl.
 |
There's lots of information about how to communicate |
Reader Success Story
I'm doing my job by asking you to do yours
I work with several managers in other states to compile a series of reports. One of the managers constantly must be reminded to update a report that they should be reviewing daily. When I see that the report has fallen behind I send a simple one-line email request for an update. Sometimes it takes several emails before the update occurs. He has complained to my boss that I badger him about the report.
The other day I took a more direct approach and called him
directly asking for the updated information. His response was less
than cooperative and I was surprised to hear “why don’t you
just do YOUR job?” After the initial shock (a few seconds) was
over I simply told him “I’m doing my job. What I need is
for you to do yours.” I received the report about an hour
later.
Reader Comments on Previous Newsletters
Blog comments:
|
Issue
296
December 5, 2007 |
SpeakStrong Award
Send in your success stories
and receive a free
Pippi Pangea Giraffe
SpeakStrong Award.
Ask Meryl
We will respond with our best suggestions. We may publish your question and response anonymously unless you request that we only respond privately. We appreciate your feedback on our response. If we publish your question, be sure to check Meryl's Blog for further suggestions from our readers.
SpeakStrong Definition
To express yourself both powerfully &
effectively;
to say what you mean,
mean what you say,
without being mean
when you say it.