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Cuss addicts
McKay Hatch doesn't enjoy cussing, and he limits his friends to those who don't. He even started a no-cuss club at school and gained 50 members. Now he has an online no-cuss club with over 10,000 members. Recently his town sponsored a no-cussing week.
Any time someone speaks up for communication standards, I rejoice.
The story has a sad aspect. As a result of his efforts, this fourteen-year old boy received a barrage of angry swearing emails and even pornography. It's difficult to imagine anyone advocating cussing, but many people did.
If you stand up for what’s right, people who like things the way they are might make you a target. I applaud McKay for not letting the aggression silence him.
Horton Speaks Strong
I have a new article about Horton Hears a Who - you can read it here. Horton shares my motto - or I share his.
Offer continues: Free 12 Secrets cassettes with $39 order
While supplies last, I'm offering the The 12 Secrets to High Self-Esteem at no cost with any order of $39 or more.
That includes the Say What You Mean eCourse, which helps you develop your communication skills one week at a time.
I have a pretty good inventory, so chances are the supplies will last. Just place your order and I’ll add the cassettes. The 12 Secrets is a fabulous resource.
This Week in the World comment
“Tell the truth about your self. Bragging doesn’t impress anyone, but neither does false modesty.” Meryl Runion
PowerPhrase of the Week
How do you suggest I respond when you do that?
Mike’s infinitival reaction to proposed change is almost always “no.” Misty was frustrated when she encountered this habit when she proposed a change in work-load distribution. She was relieved the next day when Mike confessed that he had become aware of his habit and apologized for blocking her ideas.
She might have left well enough alone, but she knew it was likely that Mike would follow the same reflex again in the future, so she asked,
- How do you suggest I respond when you do that?
They set up a code word and agreed that she would use it when he said “no” reflexively in the future.
That’s the kind of communication negotiation I write about in my new eBook Unite and Concur.
Poison Phrase of the Week
Someone walked in and disrupted my
focus
Rick was on the phone when Joe popped in. It was clear to Joe that Rick needed to focus, so he left. As Joe walked out, he overheard Rick saying,
- Can you repeat that? Someone walked in and disrupted my focus.
The problem with this statement is that it contains subtle victim language. Rick’s choice of words blame Joe for his loss of focus. Had he said,
- Can you repeat that? I lost my focus.
It would have come across completely differently.
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Read the in-depth description of: |
Meryl,
I’m based in Pakistan and I run a computer and mineral water
business.
I am writing to you about my shyness due to lack of proper words and
sometimes I miscommunicate with my staff members resulting in topsy turvy
of the job assigned. This causes anger and frustration and impedes the
rhythm of the project. I have seen the preview of your books Power
Phrases and I would like to order. What do you suggest how should I go
about in order to change my bad habits into good ones due to
passive-aggressive communication. This is also necessary due to
the fact I am presenting some of the programs on TV whereby I fumbled on
words that causes nervousness.
Meryl Responds
First, let me tell you I love the way you communicated your issue to me in your email. So, even though you may not be at the “elite” level of communication, you do have a good foundation to draw from. You’re not starting from scratch.
Second, I’m sure you are in charge because you have other skills in other areas. While I’ve been developing my communication skills (still working on it), some have been developing their detail skills etc. you’ve been developing business skills to get you where you are. While most of us would love to be brilliant in all areas and no one likes feeling stupid in any area, it’s normal for successful people to have weaker areas, and it’s not something you have to apologize for.
Third, I imagine you have some good communicators on your staff. So my main suggestion is that you draw on their skills. Have a meeting and brainstorm how they can use their skills to cover for your limitations in this one area. Enlist their support as communication coaches. Perhaps you would benefit by having someone else present on TV, but at least have them help you plan your communication. Ask them to help you with project clarification.
This will make the whole team take ownership of your communication and responsibility when it doesn't go so well.
I also recommend you get my book Perfect Phrases for Managers and Supervisors.
Do you have a communication question? You can Ask Meryl.
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There's lots of information about how to communicate |
Reader Comment
Horton hears a Who
Always enjoy what you so generously share. Had to tell you I thought of you when I saw a scene from the new "Horton Hears a Who" movie the other day - I believe it was the elephant character that said something about "saying what you mean and meaning what you say". Thought she must read Meryl's ezine. I expected to hear the rest of it too : )
The phrase is: "I meant what I said and I said what I meant. An elephant's loyal 100%." And although I'd like to take credit for inventing his phrase or mine, I can only take credit for popularizing them. ~ Meryl
Reader Comments on Previous Newsletters
Blog comments:
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Issue
303
March 18, 2008 |
SpeakStrong Award
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Ask Meryl
We will respond with our best suggestions. We may publish your question and response anonymously unless you request that we only respond privately. We appreciate your feedback on our response. If we publish your question, be sure to check Meryl's Blog for further suggestions from our readers.
SpeakStrong Definition
To express yourself both powerfully &
effectively;
to say what you mean,
mean what you say,
without being mean
when you say it.