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Strengths or weaknesses?
Employee Engagement Consultant Wendy Mack wrote a post on her blog about energizing work that touched on things I’ve been thinking about lately. Do you focus on doing what you’re good at, and work around your weaker areas? Or do you bring your weaker areas up to speed?
Wendy Mack points out that doing what we’re good at tends to energize us, and focusing on weaknesses tends to drain us. So the real question is: do we focus on what energizes us, or on what drains us?
It simplifies the inquiry, doesn’t it?
When I am fully engaged by a project, it’s not work. It’s play. That’s when I am my most productive. I feel blessed that I can structure my work in a way that allows me to focus on my interests / strengths / what energizes me.
However, there are times when you, I, and the people we manage need to invest time doing things that feel like writing with our non-dominant hand. There are times when we need to do things we’re not good at, don’t enjoy, and even that drain us.
It’s always useful to have the discipline to “take your medicine” because “it’s good for you.” I have more freedom now to do work I love because I endured painful learning curves in the past.
So it’s all about balance. And the balance you strike will be
different at different points of your life. I've had points in my life when
my balance included a lot of bitter medicine.
My philosophy is: Make work into play whenever possible. Take your
“work medicine” when you must.
And know why you do what you do. There's no point in taking medicine that doesn't enhance your well-being.
This Week in the World comment
“The more truth you’re willing to risk telling, the more you stand to gain.” ~ Meryl Runion
PowerPhrase of the Week
I'm not in a position to give you advice on that
Some hairdressers like getting involved in the intimate details of their clients' lives and some don’t. Russo is one who doesn’t. When people ask for advice, he’ll say,
- I’m not in a position to give you advice on that.
or:
- That’s a question for a different kind of professional.
Russo says, “If they get their feelings hurt, it’s the kind of relationship I don’t want anyway.”
Boundaries help us create the kind of life we want, full of people who want the same kinds of relationships we want.
Poison Phrase of the Week
Raking Stephen Pierce over the
coals
The subject line of an email I received was:
- I’m raking Stephen Pierce over the coals tonight.
It was a promo for a telephone seminar where one internet marketer interviews another one. The implication is that the interviewer has to be tough to get the “real” info, and that an aggressive violent approach is the one that will work best.
I didn’t attend the telephone seminar, but I suspect the aggressive headline was mostly marketing.
I prefer marketing phrases that don't suggest you have to beat information out of people.
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Read the in-depth description of: |
Meryl,
How would you turn down a request for writing a recommendation or an endorsement without hurting someone’s feelings? What words would you choose?
A colleague asked me to write an endorsement for him. He is an energetic person brimming with ideas and absolutely fun to hang out with, but his ideas aren’t practical, he doesn’t always follow through and he doesn’t know as much as he thinks he does.
Yet he is valuable to our team for his ideas, optimism and personality. I would feel dishonest if I made an endorsement and yet if I turned down his request, potentially hurt our relationship.
Please help. Thank you in advance.
Meryl says,
Tough one! It’s unlikely you can do it without hurting his feelings, but you can do it as gently as possible. And I applaud you for refusing. I’ve hired people I wish people would have warned me about.
I had to do this with someone who gave me her book and asked me to write an Amazon review. I didn’t like the book. I know she was offended when I told her I couldn’t recommend it. In this case I found someone else who did like the book, and that woman wrote a glorious review. That helped. But there’s are sub-cultures where everyone writes great reviews even if they don’t like something, so that makes someone who won’t do that seem stuffy.
Say something like,
- (Name) I would love to help you, and I think you’re fabulous, but I do have some concerns that I think a potential employer would want to know about. I can play up your strengths, but I would also feel bound by integrity to mention some of your weaker areas. You might be better off asking someone else for the review.
Readers?
Do you have a communication question? You can Ask Meryl.
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There's lots of information about how to communicate |
Reader Success Story
Comfortable termination
I am a member of a non-profit agency’s board of directors. As a board, we recently faced the unpleasant reality of having to terminate the agency’s executive director. And, since I am viewed as the tough-minded, thick-skinned member of the board, I was “elected” to be the bearer of bad news (at least, from the director’s point of view, it was bad news).
Nobody expected the termination meeting to go well. However, I consulted the Perfect Phrases for Termination section of your book “Perfect Phrases for Managers and Supervisors” and followed your excellent advice, nearly to the letter. And, you guessed it, the meeting went better than everyone expected.
I simply stated that the board had come to a decision to move the shelter in a new direction and that the director’s services would no longer be required, effective immediately. I thanked her for her years of service and requested that she remove her personal belongings. I also made it clear that the matter was not open to further discussion or argument. Understandably, she was upset, but not openly emotional or argumentative. We then adjourned the meeting…quick, clean, and everybody’s dignity was preserved.
The best part is that the former director came back to the shelter the next day to return some items. She confessed that the previous night (the night that she was terminated) was the first in years that she didn’t suffer stress-related back pain. She also offered to be just a phone call away if any situation arose for which we might need her guidance. Believe me when I tell you that nobody expected such a positive, professional outcome.
The “bad” news was well received…there was no argument or unnecessary discussion…and the meeting was over in mere minutes.
Now, our agency is headed in a new, more positive direction. The toxic environment of the work place is greatly improved. And, the public served by the agency has already noticed the numerous changes taking place.
Thank you, Meryl, for all your good work. You have made my life easier and have assisted our agency in becoming a more respected force in our community.
Reader Comments on Previous Newsletters
Blog comments:
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Issue
305
April 2, 2008 |
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SpeakStrong Definition
To express yourself both powerfully &
effectively;
to say what you mean,
mean what you say,
without being mean
when you say it.




