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Indefensibly defending vulgarity
I don’t get it. How can anyone argue in favor of calling female politicians vulgar names including a gender slur that would never get through my email filters, that starts with F. W.? Yet when Air America Radio suspended host Randi Rhodes for a vicious gender slur against Hillary Clinton and Geraldine Ferraro, many people (vulgarly) complained. Read about it in my Unite and Concur blog. I also have posts about priorities and who has a right to an opinion on the blog.
The right way to ask
It makes me feel omnipresent - a friend called to mention that I am quoted extensively in an article called The Right Way to Ask in Experience Life Magazine.
The article contains some great suggestions from a number of different authors.
Wendy explains the why of “why”
When Employee Engagement Consultant Wendy Mack was two, she was nicknamed Wendy Why-Why because she asked so many question. As a management consultant, she still asks why, and recommends on her blog that managers get in the practice of explaining why when they make a request or implement a change.
A two-year-old who asks why constantly can be tedious, and so can an employee. But inquisitive thinking should be encouraged. In PowerPhrases! I advise caution in how you use the word “why” so it doesn’t sound like you’re implying they don’t have good reasons. But don’t stop asking, and don’t shut down others who ask you why.
Better yet, tell them why before they have to ask. When faced with a “Wendy (or Wally) Why-Why,” become a “Betty (or Bobby) Because-Because.”
This Week in the World comment
“Create your own code of responsible communication and commit to using it - no matter how others speak to you.” Meryl Runion
PowerPhrase of the Week
If I don’t hear back from you by…I’ll call
you
People get busy, so if you are depending on someone for something, it’s good to maintain some control of the communication. That’s why it’s often prudent to maintain some control in the next point of contact. A good way to do that is to say,
- If I don’t hear back from you by…I’ll call you.
Poison Phrase of the Week
I command a lot of power around here
because I intimidate people
When Roy told Carmen that he found her intimidating, Carmen took it as a compliment. She commented,
- I command a lot of power around here because I intimidate people.
Intimidation is a false kind of power. When you intimidate people, they are likely to withhold important information from you. There’s much more power in creating alliances than in intimidation.
If someone likes the idea of being intimidating, chances are good they feel disempowered. People who feel empowered prefer that others are not afraid of them.
Bonus Poison Phrase ~ Termination
Last week’s success story was about a termination that went well. One commenter took issue with the word
-Termination
Interestingly, I have made this point in the past, but didn’t think about it when posting the story. The word termination sounds militant and hostile.
The poster asked what a better word would be, and I didn’t have a good answer. I jokingly refer to it as freeing up someone’s future, but that sounds flippant. What alternative words do you have?
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Read the in-depth description of: |
Ask Meryl
I don't know how to tell people I
don't know
Meryl,
As a PC support technician, I sometimes get questions I can’t answer. My boss wants me to fake it, and tells me never to say “I don’t know.” I want to be honest with people, but I also don’t want to sound and appear incompetent. Suggestions?
Meryl says,
Here are a few possibilities:
- Let’s find out.
- I don’t know, but I’ll find out.
- I don’t have an answer for that yet, but let’s explore the possibilities.
- That’s a great question. I’d like to ask you some questions to see if I can find an answer for you.
- Every now and then I get a question that stumps me, and this is one of those times. Here’s what I can do for you…
- That’s a great question. It’s such a good question that I don’t have an answer. What I can do is…
Readers?
Do you have a communication question? You can Ask Meryl.
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There's lots of information about how to communicate |
Reader Question on Unite and Concur
Who' s entitled to an opinion?
I am increasingly troubled by the large number of people who
profess opinions on matters for which they are not entitled to have an
opinion. Worse yet, people are taking into consideration these totally
ignorant “opinions” in making decisions!
Read the rest of the post here.
Reader Comments on Previous Newsletters
Blog comments:
Issue
306 April 9, 2008 |
SpeakStrong Award
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Ask Meryl
We will respond with our best suggestions. We may publish your question and response anonymously unless you request that we only respond privately. We appreciate your feedback on our response. If we publish your question, be sure to check Meryl's Blog for further suggestions from our readers.
SpeakStrong Definition
To express yourself both powerfully &
effectively;
to say what you mean,
mean what you say,
without being mean
when you say it.