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New article: What do you want to...need to...say...but don't?
What do you need to say but don't? This article details the eight touchy topics that many people downplay or avoid. Find out how often you stay silent when something needs to be said.
For the love of...people, work, ideas...
A friend apologized to me for talking so much about his wonderful new sweetheart. I enjoyed hearing him sing her praises. He was talking about one of my favorite things. He was talking about love.
When I travel to speak to Meeting Professionals International groups, people who work in the various Visitor and Conventions Bureaus are often the ones to show me around. It’s always clear how much they love their cities.
My son likes to show me his new web designs. His creations light him up.
A friend told me about her new brand for her business. She bubbled with joy about her ideas.
My love-smitten friend gave a gift when he shared the sweetness in his heart for his new lady. We all give a gift when we let the light of our love shine. Love has many faces - including business ones. Don't apologize for your love, passion and interest. Share it. And when someone else talks about something they love, listen. They will appreciate your interest, and their enthusiasm could be contagious.
"Ego fills the space not filled with knowledge."
- Jeffrey Armstrong
PowerPhrase of the Week
Let me finish my sentence because I'd like your input
When Thom couldn’t make his point without being interrupted, he said,
- Please let me finish my sentence because I’d like your input on this.
The person complied.
Unite and Concur tells you how to reach agreement on contentious issues. It's not just for political discussions: it can guide you through all your challenging conversations.
Stop arguing and start communicating now.
Feel better?
Joe listened to Marla's concerns about a new policy. When she finished, he responded by asking,
- Do you feel better now?
Joe's comment implied that the only purpose in Marla's discussion was to relieve emotional pressure. It was dismissive of the substance.
Often listening alone can relieve emotional pressure, and sometimes no further action needs to be taken. But to listen and imply that a policy discussion was all about emotional venting is dismissive.
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Read the in-depth description of: |
Meryl,
I’m looking for a response to the statement “That’s just an excuse.” If someone asks me why something happened (or didn’t), I usually reply with what I believe are the facts. Every so often, and usually by the same individual, I get the reply “that’s just an excuse” or “don’t give me an excuse.” It makes me wonder if he’s really asking me to answer the question literally, or if he wants me to say something else entirely. Any thoughts?
Meryl responds:
When I explain a mistake, delay or oversight, I sometimes say,
- This is a reason, not an excuse.
My point is to let them know what happened without using it to explain away any personal responsibility. You could use that phrase when accused of making excuses.
You could say:
- I replied with my best accounting of the facts. Why would you dismiss my explanation as an excuse? Are you suggesting that I am trying to cover my tail?
Or, if you can say this in a non-defensive manner:
- If I was trying to make excuses, I would say x,y and z. I was attempting to give you the best answer to your question that I could.
Of course, you do need to be sure you’re not making excuses for it to be effective.
Bonus Ask Meryl ~ How to ask someone to stop rambling
Read it here.
Do you have a communication question? You can Ask Meryl.
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There's lots of information about how to communicate |
Reader Success Story
Here are the improvements we've seen
As a health consultant, I notice that clients often overlook the improvements they've seen. I find it useful to review all their initial complaints and point out improvements they've made. I credit them with the changes they've made before we discuss what work remains.
What a difference that makes. It keeps them moving forward and inspires them to continue on the path to great health.
Comments here.
Reader Comments on Previous Newsletters
Blog comments:
(Great comments)
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Issue
310
May 21, 2008 |
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Ask Meryl
We will respond with our best suggestions. We may publish your question and response anonymously unless you request that we only respond privately. We appreciate your feedback on our response. If we publish your question, be sure to check Meryl's Blog for further suggestions from our readers.
SpeakStrong Definition
To express yourself both powerfully &
effectively;
to say what you mean,
mean what you say,
without being mean
when you say it.