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New articles: "The secret power of tears" and "Sex and the City from a SpeakStrong perspective"
I got great responses to my article on Constructive Anger. This week I'm taking on tears and friendship.
If you cry frequently, you'll want to read: The Secret Power of Tears: How to cry your heart open and SpeakStrong in love
If you don't cry frequently, you need to read The Secret Power of Tears and learn how to cry your heart open to SpeakStrong in love.
My proofreader/sister has been teasing me without mercy about tears since she proofed the article. I say: don't knock it until you try it.
The article is longer and more personal than most of my articles. I 
encourage you to read it.
You can read my take on the new Sex and the City movie. Check out: Sex and the City' provides the role model of sisterly love…sort of: A SpeakStrong definition of friendship
My husband dragged me to the movie opening...and I'm glad he did.
Posts to Unite and Concur
Read the many new posts to my Unite and Concur blog. It's not your standard political blog.
I have two great guest posts. Michael Mendenall explains how he transformed the tone of a party meeting with inspiring words. Read about that in: Here to serve. Wendy Mack describes how opposing interests came together in an unlikely alliance between Colorado ranchers and politicians. That's Another unlikely alliance.
You can also read about Congressman Lee Hamilton’s advice to the consensus-starved, I versus We, dare to care, and dare to hope. Or just visit the blog and read them all at Uniteandconcur.com.
Competing with an eleven-year old?
A friend and I spent much of our hike laughing at my foibles this week, but we did spend a moment laughing at hers. An eleven-year old bragged to her about having put sixty miles on his bike since May, and she was quite tempted to tell him she had put over 600 miles on hers. She asked herself "Why do I feel a need to compete with an eleven-year old?" She congratulated him instead of one-upping him. It's amazing what our egos have us do, isn't it?
Competing at all?
Now, let's take the above observation one step forward. Why do we one-up (or one down) at all? In some areas we're all like first-graders. In other areas we're graduate level. Let's stop comparing and take inspiration and understanding from each other.
"Tears are words the heart can't express."
PowerPhrase of the Week
I'd like to see you move past this one quickly
Gloria had forgotten to include her colleague in a decision, and when the colleague confronted her about it, Gloria felt disappointed with herself. She shared her self-disappointment with another colleague who replied:
- I'd like to see you move past this one quickly.
The message was: it's okay to feel bad about this, and it's not worth too much mental anguish. They were perfect words for Gloria to hear.
Unite and Concur tells you how to reach agreement on contentious issues. It's not just for political discussions: it can guide you through all your challenging conversations.
Stop arguing and start communicating now.
Please remit payment to...
This week’s poison phrase might not seem poisonous to others, but it’s my preference, and I'm sure I'm not alone in this.
The people I work with usually become my friends. So it always seems odd when I get invoices from them with standard formal phrases like:
- Please remit payment to
Do you talk that way? Neither do I. It’s strange enough to read this kind of impersonal wording from people we don’t have personal relationships with, but it’s stranger still when we do.
These statements are standard on accounting software like QuickBooks. Take the time to personalize them.
(I just received my invoice from my proofreading sister stating: "Please remit payment to the aforementioned address. All accounts more than 365 days past due will accumulate interest charges at a rate of .000 per diem and may be submitted to a collection agency." I like a sense of humor.)
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Ask Meryl
How to get managers to listen to feedback
A reader asked how to counter resistance as she delivers employee feedback to managers. The question and answer are too long for me to include them here, and they're too useful to miss. Please read the article communicate for change.
Do you have a communication question? You can Ask Meryl.
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There's lots of information about how to communicate |
Reader Success Story
It cost me my job, but I spoke up
I took a job as sales manager for a new property and radically increased their bookings. Then they asked me to misrepresent the books to bankers. I wasn't going to lie. My relationship changed after that, and changed more after I confronted my married manager about his affair with my coworker. (I knew the truth and people asked me about it.)
I was terminated for non-performance. There was no justification for the decision. I did manage to get severance pay.
Now I have a great job that doesn't ask me to lie. I spoke up, it cost me my job, and it was worth it. I like your phrase, say what you mean, mean what you say, and don't be mean when you say it.
Comments here.
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June 10, 2008 |
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We will respond with our best suggestions. We may publish your question and response anonymously unless you request that we only respond privately. We appreciate your feedback on our response. If we publish your question, be sure to check Meryl's Blog for further suggestions from our readers.
SpeakStrong Definition
To express yourself both powerfully &
effectively;
to say what you mean,
mean what you say,
without being mean
when you say it.