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This Week in the World
Speak Strong - The Book...due for release on January 2.
Pre-release Special
Thanks to all of you who told me you missed me during my newsletter hiatus. I’ve been on a workathon. The great news is, my next book, Speak Strong, will be ready in time for the New Year. Advanced copies will be available January 2nd. What a wonderful start to the year. I’m told it’s my best work yet.
While Speak Strong won’t be here in time for Christmas, you do still have time to order from the SpeakStrong library. I offer a generous discount on bulk orders. Perfect Phrases for Managers and Supervisors is the most popular bulk order book I have. You can find the discount schedule here. http://www.speakstrong.com/store/qty_discounts.html
If you pre-order Speak Strong, I’ll cover the costs of shipping. Read more about it here: http://www.speakstrong.com/store/speak-strong.html
Childrening
My son visited over Thanksgiving, and that means our technology is newly upgraded. He still enjoys occasional parenting, but the balance has shifted – he “childrens” us more than we “parent” him. And I will say that, as nice as it is to give, receiving feels pretty good too. I think the word "childrening" should be official.
Junior Achievement couldn't handle him
My husband recently showed me his Junior Achievement brochure from his high school days. He was the president one year, and was kicked out the next. Why? Because he insisted they shouldn’t sell the product they made because the quality was substandard.
My husband started Speaking Strong long before I did.
"People who suggest that business isn't personal are missing half the fun. Everything is personal."
Meryl Runion
PowerPhrase of the Week
Working uninterrupted
Boundaries clarify expectations. That’s why Linda appreciated it when Joe told her:
- I need to work uninterrupted for the next two hours. If you have an urgent need, please give me a quick call. Otherwise, I’ll be available at 2:00.
In the past, instead of asking for uninterrupted time, Joe would act irritated when Linda dropped by.
Poison Phrase(s) of the Week
Cross me off your list
My friend and mentor Jeffrey Armstrong called to say he was leaving for England that afternoon and he wanted to be sure we spoke before he left. I said something about him being able to
- Cross me off your list.
Jeffrey insisted he did not regard me as an item on his list.
On later reflection, I realized that even though I was being playful and had no thoughts about my being a task to be completed, my words were depersonalizing. They suggested we were engaged in a transaction, not enjoying a friendship. And even though my intent was innocent, my words contributed to a dynamic that I don’t want to feed. I object to language that depersonalizes, whether it’s a doctor referring to patients as if they are their diseases, or news people referencing dead civilians as “casualties of war,” or me referring to myself as an item on a list. The way we word things reflects how we relate to them. Depersonalization is dehumanizing, and it’s time we all stopped doing that – including me.
I made the Poison Phrase of the Week this week. However, I did refrain from using another Poison Phrase.
It's as far away as it always was
My son mentioned that since the local highway was expanded into four lanes, “Des Moines got a lot closer.”
My literal self wanted to comment:
- It’s as far away as it always was – it’s just that you can get there faster now.
But my better self resisted the temptation and refrained from correcting.
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Reader Question
Help Kim find her perfect job title
This week’s reader question is from my bookkeeper to you. She’s on a quest for the perfect job title. I’m sure many of you have been there – wondering how to respond when someone asks – what do you do? I’d like to get a dialogue going that will help her figure out what to put on her business cards, and that will get us all thinking about how we describe what we do.
Kim provides elder support services. She prepares financial paperwork and summary statements, pays bills, does accounting for year end taxes, reviews insurance coverage; sorts files; exercises limited powers of attorney; provides conservator or guardian services, writes letters, provides companionship and runs errands.
What do you think she should call her self? The term Financial Assistant sounds like she offers investment advice, which she doesn’t, and the term Bookkeeper is too limited. It sounds to me like she’s taking care of elders the way some children take care of their aging parents. I wish the word “childrening” was common usage rather than something I just made up, because that would be a perfect description. What ideas can you recommend?
Do you have a communication question? You can Ask Meryl.
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There's lots of information about how to communicate |
Reader Success Story
Let's have some fun together first
My husband and I had both been working too hard, and were getting on each other’s nerves. We started to have a discussion about our relationship, but I suggested we should schedule some fun together and then talk. It took some discipline, because we both wanted to unload our upset on each other, but we did it. We had a great time, and after that our conversation went more easily.
It seems to me one of the best things we can do for the people we love is to take care of ourselves and keep our own spirits up. The right words come more easily when we're happy.
Reader comments
Issue
328 Dec 5, 2008 |
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We will respond with our best suggestions. We may publish your question and response anonymously unless you request that we only respond privately. We appreciate your feedback on our response. If we publish your question, be sure to check Meryl's Blog for further suggestions from our readers.
SpeakStrong Definition
To express yourself both powerfully &
effectively;
to say what you mean,
mean what you say,
without being mean
when you say it.