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This Week in the World
Sometimes there are no perfect words
Sometimes I wonder why I even try to communicate. Every clarification places a limitation. Nuance complicates, but generalization obscures. It feels like something vast and beautiful gets reduced to a shadow of its original self.
When I write a PowerPhrase, someone points out when, where, and how it could be a Poison Phrase. When I write a Poison Phrase, someone points out when, where, and how it could be a PowerPhrase. There’s another side to every story. There’s a perspective I neglected. Every expression communicates a part of the whole, and inquiring minds notice what’s missing.
If you’ve read PowerPhrases!, you know I’m not talking about power over... I’m talking about influence and the ability to get things done. If you’ve read SpeakStrong, you know I’m talking about a strength that is coupled with grace – and can even mean having the strength to stay silent at times. The words "Power" and "Strong" don’t say it all. It takes a whole book to do that.
Words have their limits, but they are often the best we have. And when I told my friend who is having her “moon cycle” and isn’t feeling so well that I love her in her luminance as well as in her radiance, it seemed to capture some of what I was feeling. When my husband told me comments I made sounded like they came from the stadium instead of the team, his words came and got me and reconnected us. I may not have perfect words, and there always will be blog commenters who take me to task and point out what my expression omitted. I’m glad they do. Because when they add their imperfect words to my imperfect words, the picture comes into better focus. I know I’ll never get it “right” and the process can be clumsy, but the end result can be beautiful.
"Labels stop thought."
Meryl Runion
PowerPhrase of the Week
That's mean...
I overheard Nancy on the phone with Kevin, pressuring him to come to a party she was giving. I tensed up when she started to “guilt-trip” him, and thought about how I would feel if she was pressuring me the way she pressured him. But Kevin seemed unfazed by the tactic. He just said,
- That's mean
His voice was pleasant and sweet, and Nancy backed off. She told Kevin she missed him, which had a much different feel than her previous pressure.
I marveled as I listened, because I react to pressure. Had Nancy spoken to me that way, it might not have been a blip on a friendship screen. Kevin Spoke Strong without being combative, and the friendship continued its previous flow.
Speak Strong is the next step after PowerPhrases!
Poison Phrase of the Week
You now have three new friends
When I accept requests on a social networking site, often from people I don't know, they tell me,
- Congratulations. You have three new friends.
Really? Will they check on me when I'm going through challenges, celebrate my wins with me and share their deepest secrets?
Social networking "friends" cheapen the word, and sugest that all there is to friendship is to agree to be in each other's network.
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Read about my new book release: It's the next step. |
Reader question
Meeting scheduling?
Hi Meryl
My boss continually asks me to set up meetings with him and for him.
His schedule is way more booked than mine, so when I send him a meeting request, it’s usually declined and I have to keep trying dates until we find one that works. How can I put the burden of scheduling the meeting back on her? I don't know how to ask.
Meryl Responds
Say,
- I’d be happy to schedule meetings if it was efficient, but since you know your schedule so much better than I do and my schedule is more open, it seems to take more time for both of us for me to do it. I’d prefer you set up your own meetings or at least suggest a few times for me so I don’t have to keep contacting you to find out what whether a time works for you or not. Does that sound reasonable?
Does this sound like it could work? Tell me how it goes.
Do you have a communication question? You can Ask Meryl.
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There's lots of information about how to communicate |
Success Story
No story this week
The problem is the instructions
Issue
337 Feb. 18th, 2009 |
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SpeakStrong Definition
To express yourself both powerfully &
effectively;
to say what you mean,
mean what you say,
without being mean
when you say it.