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This Week in the World
A way in
My friend Ahriana has amazing, creative kids. I think it’s because she takes deep interest in whatever they’re interested in. Interest is a great way to keep relationships strong.
I remembered that just in time when my husband talked about how in college he loved a cartoon band called The Banana Splits. At first I listened politely, waiting for him to finish so we could talk about something "interesting." But then I realized that by sharing something that had meaning for him, he was sharing himself with me. Suddenly I discovered that The Banana Splits were a lot more interesting than I had thought. Listening with interest turned out to be a way into his heart. We had a lovely morning. It's surprising what can lead to connection.
SpeakStrong changes your communication operating system, "Best EQ book on the market"
My new book, SpeakStrong, takes a little longer to appreciate than PowerPhrases does. But I’ve been getting some great reviews lately from people who recognize what it’s really about. One person said PowerPhrases! is great for paint-by-numbers and SpeakStrong has the biggest potential to impact people’s lives. EQ (emotional intelligence) expert Wanda Spina refers to SpeakStrong as “the best EQ book on the market.” Another reviewer told me the audio that comes with SpeakStrong "could have been a whole separate product." She went on to say, "You gave so much with this book." She's right. I did.
My favorite review was from my father who is one tough critic. If he didn’t like it, he would tell me. But he said it was “way past the others,” "more demanding and therefore more powerful." He said I’m not just helping people to speak at a higher level but to actually be better people. He said his only complaint was that I didn’t write it 75 years ago.
If you’re ready to change your communication operating system instead of just upgrading your "communication software," get SpeakStrong. I have generous discounts for bulk orders for all my books.
Strong people need SpeakStrong skills as much or more than gentler ones
Stay tuned next week and I'll tell you why.
"Reasons rule, excuses reek."
Meryl Runion
PowerPhrase of the Week
Ask me privately and I will consider it. Ask me in front of others, I'll say no.
Kids know how to work their parents. That's what Kris' daughter was doing when she asked if she could have friends over in front of their parents. Kris ended that manipulation by telling her daughter,
- Ask me privately and I will consider it. Ask me in front of others, I'll say no.
She also explained to her daughter why her behavior was manipulative and inappropriate. (Kris had read all about manipulative communication in my new book, SpeakStrong.) Her daughter asks in private now. (This PowerPhrase is courtesy of The Detective Mom.)
Speak Strong is the next step after PowerPhrases!
Poison Phrase of the Week
Go with the flow
I recently attended a workshop that did not come close to being on schedule. I had gone out of my way to arrive on time, and quickly learned my diligence was wasted effort. When I mentioned how difficult the lack of timeliness made it to plan, I was told to...
- Just go with the flow.
Whose flow? Lunch at noon one day and 3:15 the next might have fit the facilitator’s flow, but it sure didn’t fit mine. It might have fit the facilitator's flow to have a leisurely casual private conversation with someone while everyone else waited for the class to start again, but it didn't fit the flow for the rest of us. Sometimes "go with the flow" is an excuse for a lack of consideration.
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Read about my new book release: It's the next step. |
Reader question
Are you making stuff up?
Hi Meryl
SpeakStrong is truly above and beyond PowerPhrases! What I love most about it is that it teaches EQ (Emotional Intelligence) instead of just canned-phrases. It really helps people to see the repercussions of not saying anything.
It calls people out on their stuff but in a way that it allows the individual to see what s/he has sowed/reaped by the lack of communication. The specific examples are excellent (and extremely helpful).
I have one question: Are your examples from live people or are they made up?
Meryl Responds
The stories are real, although I do change them for privacy and clarity. Poetic license, yes. Pure fabrication, no. I collected so many stories over the years that I really do have an example for just about everything. I sometimes fill in a forgotten detail. But life is so full of examples that I could probably illustrate the book with new examples from just last week.
Do you have a communication question? You can Ask Meryl.
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There's lots of information about how to communicate |
Kudos Corner
Praise from a colleague
I not only won my father's praise recently, but also from a colleague whose work I admired long before I wrote 'PowerPhrases'. He wrote,
"I've just enjoyed your most recent newsletter and congratulate you on being succinct, delivering value, and being a keen observer. I also pay attention to every word --- consciously --- as you do and we're so like-minded. I want you to know that your work is excellent."
~ George Walther
When Claire was ten years old, some friends told her to say hello to a boy who had just entered the pool they were in. She did, but the boy stared blankly back.
Claire's friends laughed as they explained that the boy was deaf, and couldn't hear her. Their entertainment was at the deaf boy's expense.
Claire had taught herself sign language, so she returned to the boy to apologize for not realizing he couldn't hear her. His face lit up as she signed to him. When Claire returned to her friends, they asked her to teach them a few things in sign language. She did, and her friends learned a lot more than sign language - they also learned respect.
Read the whole story on The Detective Mom.
Issue
338 Feb. 26th, 2009 |
SpeakStrong Award
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SpeakStrong Definition
To express yourself both powerfully &
effectively;
to say what you mean,
mean what you say,
without being mean
when you say it.