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This Week in the World
Learn to SpeakStrong in Denver, Vancouver Island, and Colorado Springs
Most of my speaking events are for private groups. I do have an open event scheduled for April 30th in Denver. It's an all day event, and will be worth flying in to attend. The flyer is available here.
I am also considering a SpeakStrong, Smart, and Sweet retreat on Vancouver Island and one in Colorado Springs this summer. Let me know if you're interested.
New "Meryl’s Sharable Parable": Ego Management
If you ever struggle with ego and identity issues (what? me?), you’ll love this parable.
Half Glass’s Egoic Adventures: A lesson in labels, perspectives and identity
The parable opens some questions for Reader Discussion. How do you know when you're having and egoic reaction? That discussion is here.
Men and Women: One of us must be crazy
Hear what?
My friend switched off the radio and said, “This song hurts my ears. The singer’s voice is not engineered for a woman’s ear. Women need more low tones, a bottom, more grounding.”
She explained the dynamics of psychoacoustics, saying, “Most women will turn music without low tones off and they won’t know why. Most men don’t even hear the tones that women find painful.”
See what?
We don’t just hear things differently. My husband pointed out an article about how most men don’t notice a new hairstyle because they don’t even see hair. They focus more on faces. A man can deeply love a woman and not notice her radical new 'do.
Feel what?
Most of us discovered long ago that men and women process feelings and physical touch differently. If we’re also processing sound and sight in such different ways, how can we communicate at all?
One of us must be crazy
I told my husband about a song by Pete McCormick called “The Woman I Love Is Crazy.” My husband exclaimed, “I like that title. Women see things so differently from men that at times they seem crazy to us. I suppose women think the same thing about men.”
Actually, I rarely hear women complain about men being crazy. A woman’s version of Pete’s song would more likely be “The man I love is rigid,” or, “The man I love is linear.” Note - we love them - we just might not always know how to talk to them.
Bridging the gap
While it’s a challenge to talk to those who perceive and process information in such radically different ways, some people do bridge the gaps. There are male sound engineers who know how to appeal to a woman’s ear. There male hairdressers who know exactly what women want. There also are plenty of women who can be linear with the best of the guys. If we judge, excoriate, and dismiss someone’s style, we’ll miss the richness that comes from becoming “bi-lingual.”
My free Communication Style Quiz isn’t about gender differences, but it can help bridge the gap between you and people whose perception is worlds apart from yours. If you think one of you must be crazy, you’re missing an opportunity.
Here's a comment I received about the quiz this week.
"Thank you for an absolutely accurate assessment. It reminds me to practice ... to make permanent on development areas."
I'll be presenting on communication styles at the Colorado Safety Association Conference May 13th.
"Life is utterly simple and yet most complex. You have to simultaneously attend to both facets of life. When life appears most complex, turn to the simplicity. Simplicity brings peace. When you are peaceful, attend to the complexity within you."
~ Sri Sri Ravi Shankar
Sign up for your SpeakStrong Quote and Tip of the Day
PowerPhrase of the Week
The man I love (manager I support, etc.) keeps interrupting me
Ron chatted away as Becky packed a box for Ron to take to the post office. At one point, Ron asked Becky to work a little faster since he wanted to leave soon. Becky replied,
- I understand and I'm working as fast as I can. The man I love keeps interrupting me.
Sounds better than, I'll get it done faster if you'll shut up, doesn't it?
Adjust it to use at work - depending on your relationship with the person.
- The manager I support keeps interrupting me.
- Somone I respect is distracting me from the job.
- My friend keeps saying things I want to hear.
Of course you might want to simply say,
- While I want to hear what you have to say, I need to focus if I'm going to get this done.
Speak Strong is the next step after PowerPhrases!
Poison Phrase of the Week
Things take care of themselves
Melissa’s husband loves to say,
- Things take care of themselves…
While there are times to step back and let things unfold, some people use this phrase to abdicate responsibility. Often, it’s not so much that things take care of themselves as it is that other people pick up the pieces.
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Read about my new book release: It's the next step. |
Reader question
No question this week
Do you have a communication question? You can Ask Meryl.
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There's lots of information about how to communicate |
Success Story
My puppies found the ball
Last night I read your Puppy Lessons story to my ministerial class. It worked so well. Thank you so much. They really got the message - and clarity about the difference between the message and the messenger. Plus, when they get confused in the future, I can just ask them if they know where The Ball is. They observed that if I throw The Ball into a swamp, they won’t be afraid to tell me to throw a little better. This parable opened up a wonderful, playful form of communication we can use to work around difficulties that arise.
Fabuloso. Brava. Brava. Please put your stories in a book and call it Meryl’s Parables
Note: You can read my latest of Meryl's Shareable Parables Here.
Issue
342 March 25th, 2009 |
your boss...
A new SpeakStrong
DVD video, MP3 audio, and CD audio. Available now in our SpeakStrong Store.
SpeakStrong Award
Send in your success stories
and receive a free
Pippi Pangea Giraffe
SpeakStrong Award.
Ask Meryl
We will respond with our best suggestions. We may publish your question and response anonymously unless you request that we only respond privately. We appreciate your feedback on our response. If we publish your question, be sure to check Meryl's Blog for further suggestions from our readers.
SpeakStrong Definition
To express yourself both powerfully &
effectively;
to say what you mean,
mean what you say,
without being mean
when you say it.