Meryl Runion, CSP, is a speaker, trainer and author. Learn more.
This Week in the World
He didn't know he couldn't so he did, Twitter on, Bullies
Years ago my husband demonstrated The Scorpion, one of the most difficult yoga postures to a mentally disabled associate. While it had taken my husband years to master it, his associate assumed the pose immediately. My husband mused that the associate was able to do it because he didn’t “know he couldn’t.”
It reminds me of a young man I know who went up the ladder and convinced management to upgrade the computer operating system because, unlike the “old timers,” he didn’t “know it couldn’t happen.”
I’ve been hearing a lot recently from readers who tolerate bullying in their workplace. Entire work groups are terrorized by a single oppressor. Often I suspect they believe they can’t change things, so they can’t.
My husband and I watched the movie The Changeling this weekend. It was inspiring to see the heroine take on the LAPD and win. Everyone "knew" it couldn’t be done. She didn’t share their limitations.
What do you “know" you can’t do? What do you “know" you can’t say? Really? Take the Risky Conversation Assessment and see if your reason for silence is really a lame excuse.
In response to questions I received this week, I reposted some old posts. Enjoy.
When the Bully is the Boss
I cannot allow my nurses to be intimidated
I’ve been playing with Twitter all week. Follow me. It is helping me hone the art of succinctness. Check out my Twitter Updates and tell me how I’m doing.
Comment
"Every word matters."
~ Meryl Runion
Sign up for your SpeakStrong Quote and Tip of the Day
PowerPhrase of the Week
Feel, felt, found
In my recent article for the National Apartment Association magazine, I applied the feel, felt, found formula. Here's what I said.
- I understand the rent feels high to you. I’ve talked to other people who felt that too. When they looked around and compared values, they found that the rent is actually reasonable for what we provide.
The feel, felt, found formula isn’t just for sales. I’m preparing to speak to nurses this week. Here’s a variation.
- I can understand feeling fearful about this procedure. I’ve had other patients feel fearful. Once they completed the procedure, they found the anticipation was worse than the actual experience.
Or for my safety professionals,
- If you feel overwhelmed by the regulations, I can tell you a lot of people felt that when they first implemented them. What they found was, once they have them in place, it’s much simpler than they imagined.
This formula acknowledges people’s responses before it moves to take them beyond their responses.
Comment
SpeakStrong is the next step after PowerPhrases!
Poison Phrase of the Week
That’s a terrible idea
In an article about nurse – physician communication and collaboration a physician responded to a nurse’s recommendation by saying,
- That’s a terrible idea.
He went on to explain why. His warning stayed with the nurse, and she later passed on the same warning to another physician.
This story ended well. However, had the nurse been less emotionally mature, the harsh condemnation might have left her reluctant to offer suggestions in the future.
When the nurse later passed the warning to a physician, she spoke tentatively. I would have recommended stronger but not harsher wording.
Ironically, because of the power and authority differential, it’s more important for a physician to speak graciously to avoid shutting dialogue down.
Be sure to read my repost on nurse, physician communication.
I cannot allow my nurses to be intimidated
Comment
Reader question
Not the King's English
Meryl,
How can you bring it to someone's attention when they use completely incorrect English without hurting their feelings or coming across as superior? A man I know says, "I seen," "I done," and "them guys." Otherwise he is very intelligent.
I was a bit stuck on this one which is why it has taken a while for me to answer. My challenge is similar to the body odor question…there are no great ways to say it, but some are better than others. I borrowed my own tips from my article about how to tell someone they smell bad. Here's my best shot. Say,
- (Name,) I have noticed grammar errors in your word choices, and I’m concerned that it is having an impact on your ability to interact with your co-workers and our customers. I know if it was me, I’d want to know. If you'd like to talk about it more, I'd like to support you.
Readers?
Do you have a communication question? You can Ask Meryl.
Comment
Quick Tip
Ignite your verbs
From my copy editing teleseminar with Barbara McNichol.
Read more and Comment
Success Story Submission
Reader Blog Comment
Feedback at Toastmasters is it really that useful?
Please remit payment Alternatives
