Meryl Runion, CSP, is a speaker, trainer and author. Learn more.
This Week in the World
What a great week
I had a fabulous week. I found out nurses love the show House, nurses love my Power Phrases, and I love nurses.
I found out my Dad, who can’t see or hear much, is still very alive and vibrant. And fun to be around. My Dad is from Iceland and I wanted him to talk about his childhood, so I fed him fish. It worked. I asked him about his dreams. Fascinating. Ask your aging parents what they dream about and enjoy the ride.
I found out what it’s like to work with an experienced web training development specialist. She organized my thinking and brought new, great ideas to the table. Thanks, Dixie.
There is a lively discussion about unsolicited advice on the blog.
The above is a quote from Robert Cialdini in Eldon Taylor’s new book Mind Programming. Persuasion, propaganda and developing consciousness fascinate me, which is why I agreed to join a launch campaign for Taylor’s new book. You’ll find what I have to say about Mind Programming here, and the promotion is here.
I’m also reading The Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell. I will have much more to say about it in weeks to come.
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"You can pressure people into compliance, but you can’t pressure them into agreement."
~ Meryl Runion
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PowerPhrase of the Week
For kids: Think of what questions you want to ask the doctor.
Malcolm Gladwell writes about the power of teaching kids to SpeakStrong (not in those words) in his latest book, The Outliers. He referred to a parent who told her nine-year-old son to:
- Think of what questions you want to ask the doctor.
Her instruction taught her son to determine his needs, have an opinion, and ask for what he wanted. In the treatment room, the boy asked questions, corrected the doctor's assumptions, and took responsibility for the success of the exam. Gladwell observed that the doctor visit was a lesson in empowerment and getting needs met. Empower your kids to SpeakStrong too.
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SpeakStrong is the next step after PowerPhrases!
Poison Phrase of the Week
You didn’t ask for pain-killer
The nurse told Janet that her surgery called for pain killer every four hours. What she didn’t tell her was that Janet had to ask to get it. Janet had assumed from the comment that painkiller was an automatic part of the treatment.
After an agonizing night, the doctor explained,
- We didn’t give you pain killer because you didn’t ask for pain killer.
The irony was that Janet actually worked at the hospital where she received surgery, and she still had a painful communication breakdown. Her experience was an eye-opener for her.
You many think your point is obvious, but if others don't get your message, clarify.
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Reader question
Dunno
Meryl,
What phrases do you recommend for a manager who coaches staff and gets the response, “I don’t know”? When I asked an employee how he could improve his skills in an area, he responded with “I don’t know.” I tried prodding more with some open ended questions and managed to get one idea from him. How do I get past the “I don’t know” and get them to affirm instead of “try”? Thank you.
My response to not knowing is,
• What would you say if you did know? Or,
• What’s your best guess?
My response to "I’ll try" is,
• I consider that a commitment to trying. Now I’d like a commitment to accomplishing. What result will you commit to?
Then hold their feet to the fire.
Do you have a communication question? You can Ask Meryl.
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Reader Success Story
A united communication effort among nurses
I followed a doctor in his rounds who prescribed narcotics for a chemically-dependent patient. The nurse told him,
- My training says we shouldn’t put chemically-dependent patients on narcotics. I’m concerned about patient care.
The doctor was dismissive and I didn’t think too much about it. Later in rounds he prescribed narcotics again and the second nurse said exactly the same thing. Over the week I followed this doctor, I heard several nurses raise the same objection. It was clear to me that they had collaborated to respond that way – and it worked. By the end of the week the doctor no longer routinely prescribed narcotics for chemically-dependent patients.
Success Story Submission
Reader Blog Comment
Unsolicited grammar advice
