Meryl Runion, CSP, is a speaker, trainer and author. Learn more.
This Week in the World
Please help me name my SpeakStrong, SpeakSmart, and SpeakSweet Icons
I am experimenting with names for icons I use for the three sources of communication power - strength. savvy, and heart. What do you like?
A. The thinker - values logic and reason. Says speak smart. Favorite pronoun is "it" because the thinker is impersonal. The thinker likes to label things.
1) Professor Itisa (It Is A) 2) Professor Sagacious 3) Professor Thinks A Lot 4) Other?
B. The feeler - values relationships, connection, play, and beauty. Favorite pronoun is "we." Builds webs and likes to hang out and be.
1) Web-be 2) Harmonious 3) Empress Cares A Lot 4) Other?
C. The doer - values results, action, concrete and physical reality. Competitive and territorial. Favorite pronoun is "I."
1) Gekko (like the tycoon in Wall Street) 2) Izzie 3) Chief Does A Lot
I will be coming out with a pictorial adventure using these icons once I have them permanently named. Please make your suggestions here.
I received a lovely email from a lady who is experiencing interpersonal challenges and found out about my work at a winery in Australia called “The Hill of Promise.” I hope my message is as promising as the place where she discovered it suggests.
I used to dismiss my husband's (admittedly) dumb jokes, but I learned to love them because of the playfulness that inspires them.
We like people who laugh at our jokes - which is one reason why I so enjoyed my keynote with the federally employed women who are members of Denver Federal Executive Board (DFEB) last week. I knew I was funny, but I didn’t realize I was THAT funny. The last time I had such a responsive audience it was at a Women in Military conference. Hmm…is there a theme here? I found a surprising way into my husband’s heart, and DFEB found their way into mine.
My new DFEB readers and anyone who works with bureaucracy will appreciate my recent article about bureaucratic gobbledygook. It’s called
The article includes a Buzzword generator and a PowerPhrases generator.
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A reader sent me a link to an article titled 8 Toxic personalities to avoid. While it’s a fun and insightful article and very useful…it has one characteristic I take issue with. It labels the person according to a toxic trait they display. Also, the only strategy she recommends is to avoid these people.
No one is all one way. I have a dear friend who can be a “Narcissistic Nancy” and another who can be a “Judgmental Jim.” I’ve learned to resist the temptation to do a song and a dance to please the “Never Enough Nellies” in my life. These people are good souls who at times display toxic behaviors – and there are times when I display all eight of the toxic qualities too.
Enjoy the article, but don’t be an “Absolute Abel” or a “Labeling Larry.” Know the article labels traits, not people. And before you decide to avoid someone, see if you can't deal with their behaviors.
The great debate about whether to correct grammar errors continued in my blog this week. While this debate continued, I received a promotional email for a writing guide with the following subject line: “Common Grammatical Errors That Make You Look Dumb.”
Kinda makes it clear how high the stakes can be, doesn’t it?
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" Labels stop thought."
~ Meryl Runion
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Reader Input Requests
"Dear Colleague" and other salutation pet peeves
In a recent blog post, New Rules PR expert David Meerman Scott lists the “Dear Colleague” salutation as one of his pet peeves. His take? “I am not your colleague.” “Either say “Dear David” or leave the salutation out.” He…and I want to know - is he being too picky?
His post commenters don't think he is. Your thoughts?
What are your Salutation Pet Peeves? I'd like to create a list.
Dear friend? Associate?
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SpeakStrong is the next step after PowerPhrases!
Poison Phrase of the Week
We get complaints about her all the time
When Donna complained that she had left four voicemails on four separate days and not gotten a call back from her doctor’s assistant, the receptionist said,
- Oh, we get complaints about her all the time.
Need I explain why that's a Poison Phase?
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Reader question
Managing the micromanager
Meryl,
My manager is a micromanager (control freak) who is driving me crazy. What can I say to reassure her that I'll take care of whatever situation she needs completed?
Ask her,
- "Is there something I do that leads you to not trust me to handle the situation?"
You could also preempt her requests by providing her with regular updates. Even daily ones…giving her the status of everything you’re working on.
I’ve worked with assistants who haven’t updated me; sometimes things would slip through the cracks. That meant I can’t just turn things over to them – I felt a need to keep track. I’d much rather know that once I’ve turned things over, they’d get done – but I didn’t have that trust. I assume you’ve considered that possibility and that you don’t let things slip through the cracks – but if your manager has had help that wasn’t as thorough as you are, this could be a residual.
Do you have a communication question? You can Ask Meryl.
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Reader Success Story
"Think, feel, and want" helps me talk to my unemployed hubby
Meryl, I have been able to speak to my husband using the think, feel, and want lines with better results. I also am talking less and just waiting for his response that will take a few days and maybe a few reminders that I am still waiting for a response.
He is seriously challenged when it comes to communicating and can use a lot of poison phrases. He is on disability right now and is unemployed so his ego is in the dumps. But, despite it all he has been more real and vulnerable in conversations than he has ever been before.
And I have felt better about my words with him - more honest and to the point - less drama in fighting about things and just basically put the ball in his court and give him a chance.
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Success Story Submission
More Blog posts
Kids, quick tip, and pressure
Kid Poison Poison Phrase: I'll stand where I can run get help if you get hurt
Poison Phrase from Detective Mom: My teacher got me in trouble
Quick Tip: Easier to edit than create
You can pressure people into compliance, but you can’t pressure them into agreement
Quick Tip: Detective Mom Learns art of small talk from child
Reader Blog Comments
Unsolicited grammar advice (Lively, well considered posts)
Pressure into compliance
Questions for the doctor
You didn't ask for painkiller
The "dunno" debate (Some really excellent mentoring advice.)
