Meryl Runion,CSP is a speaker, trainer and author. Learn more.
This Week in the World
Hype-fatigue in sobering times
Last October, my investment agent showed me a chart to illustrate long-term gains in the stock market. He had picked his data to make the results as impressive as possible by starting late October 1987 and ending at the high point in 2008. His presentation wasn’t false – but it was misleading. He never said, but did imply that the best scenario results based on 20-20 hindsight were standard results that I would be likely to achieve over time. I told him the market was too volatile at the moment for me to invest. That decision proved wise.
The speaking industry is replete with hype, like the email I received yesterday that started with, “What would it be worth to you to transform your business into an enterprise that makes millions while making a difference?” Note the question never states but does imply that their service will be that lucrative. The service is valuable, but the promise seems inflated to me.
Yes, hype still works, but the times are sobering us. Authenticity is a becoming very hot theme. Some of us are looking for more realistic promises and believable results.
Last week I wrote of my own struggle with gobbledygook in my short career in government service, and contrasted a Buzzword Generator with a PowerPhrase Generator. My recent book SpeakStrong is all about removing the hype and embracing the power of an authentic message.
Hype isn’t just damaging because it creates false hope and expectations. It’s also damaging because it suggests reality isn’t good enough. Hype sobriety says reality is enough. I hope SpeakStrong helps you get verbally sober and helps you cut through the hype that bombards you.
Thanks for the fabulous input on the icon names, both on and off-line. The winners are:
A. Smarty
B. Sweetie
C. Bizzie
More soon.
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"An inflated sense of self is a set-up for a deflated sense of self. Match your talk with your walk."
~ Meryl Runion
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PowerPhrase of the Week
I don't need to exaggerate
My husband is a straightforward kind of guy. Recently he asked me not to refer to him as “brilliant” or “a genius.” He said,
- I’m not a genius. I’m intelligent and I work hard, and I’m comfortable with who I am. I don’t need to exaggerate.
I had already realized that when I playfully told people that my husband “knows everything” about digestive health care, I set him up. He doesn’t know everything – he knows a lot – but not everything. Even when spoken in a lighthearted manner, hyperbole can create a false image and create pressure to be someone you’re not.
I found Bob’s comment deliciously sobering.
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SpeakStrong is the next step after PowerPhrases!
Poison Phrase of the Week
Communication month euphoria
I recently received an email that started like this:
- June is here! I’m excited! Can you tell? I’m excited because June is communication month.
My first thought: Either she’s hyping and writing inauthentically, or she needs to get out more. I can think of a lot of reasons to be excited about June, but communication month is not one of them.
My second thought: What else was she hyping about?
Avoid making remarks that don't pass the smell test.They weaken your credibility.
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Reader question
Anger journal
Meryl,
Do you recommend keeping an anger journal?
Recommendation
I wouldn’t keep an anger journal because, while anger is a useful tool for discovering where you need boundaries, the purpose of paying attention to your anger is to be able to move beyond it. Keeping a journal about it makes it too concrete.
Linda Larsen makes the comment, “Resentment is like drinking poison - hoping they will die.” Resentment is simmered anger. Ultimately anger poisons you – but it can be a useful tool if you use it to see where you’ve been unclear and where you’ve not honored your own boundaries.
This article can help you:
Constructive Anger: How to SpeakStrong when you're seeing red.
Also, SpeakStrong is loaded with tools that show you how to transform destructive anger into a positive tool.
Do you have a communication question? You can Ask Meryl.
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Success Story
A sobering and refreshing conversation
During a recent interview for an internal position, the team lead asked that I first listen to what he had to say before I responded. I agreed and listened as he spoke of some perceptions he and others had of me. He stressed that none of this impacted the fact that I was great team player and very competent-top notch employee.
I thanked him and said I was not aware of how some of my actions were perceived and this was a blind spot to me. When I responded to the specifics of the issues he affirmed he could see where I was coming from. He recommended that I check with other co-workers and see if that was the same perception.
At the closing, he thanked me for being candid and listening to him. I walked away from this conversation stunned. I was stunned that there was this perception out in the work arena about me and stunned that the team lead cared enough about me and my success to speak with me about this perception. His candor and my willingness to listen built trust between us. I got the position.
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Graceful Grammar Correction
