Issue 355, July 7, 2009
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Got a question or comment? Ask Meryl.

A special welcome to my new subscribers from the National Apartment Association. It was a great time in Vegas. For those new, I want to let you know that this issue has a bit more of a personal focus than most.

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David Meerman Scott and NIA
I observe how people walk their talk, because I only really understand their message when I see it embodied. That’s why I follow David Meerman Scott in twitter http://twitter.com/dmscott

and subscribe to his blog.
http://www.webinknow.com/

Scott teaches authentic social media, so I watch what he does as well as listen to what he says.

I mentioned Scott in a blog post this week, and was honored, impressed and instructed when he posted a comment to my blog. http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/2009/07/04/niadavid-meerman-scotta-fabulous-teleseminar-series/

My post was about a teleseminar Scott is giving for the NIA Dance institute this week and about what a surprising and magnificent alliance that is. I offer NIA DVDs on my http://www.SpeakStronginLove.com website and confess that I sell more of their materials than I do of my own.

NIA is a great way to loosen the rigidity that settles into our bodies and minds. And Scott teaches New Rules of PR, http://bit.ly/dkj7Y which is about losing control of your message, among other things.

David Meerman Scott showed me he does practice what he teaches when he took the time to grace my blog. I invite you to take the time to grace his.

Hmm…I think an alliance between Scott and SpeakStrong might be magnificent as well.

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Escape the ordinary? Sign, new books, new film.
My hubby and I passed a van with the by-line “escape the ordinary” on it. Bob's comment was he prefers a by-line that says “embrace the ordinary.” I like Bob's motto and add that “nothing is ordinary” if you look closely enough.

Here’s a little magic for you. Bob bought a used Norman Mailer book and didn’t realize it was autographed until he got it home. The inscription? "To Robert." Bob has a magic life too. It’s the simple things that make it that way.

Speaking of ordinary magic, I was invited to join a marketing campaign for Victoria Moran’s new book Living a Charmed Life.    http://bit.ly/1NBoSq

I didn’t get my act together in time to join in, but I did review the copy they sent me, and I like it. If you want more magic in your life, here’s your link. http://bit.ly/1NBoSq

I also didn't get around to participating in the media campaign for Deb Ford's new film The Shadow Effect.   http://www.theshadoweffect.com/   Pity - it's a topic that I would like everyone to embrace. I write about owning your shadow side in SpeakStrong. It's too late for me to join the campaign, but when yet another friend forwarded the link to the movie, I knew I had to mention it.

There is a media campaign today that I'm part of. Steve Sisgold has a book release called What's Your Body Telling You. I created an eBook for it called 6 Steps to Body-Centered Communication. I've been practicing listening to what my body tells me for years - I evaluate my PowerPhrases by running them through my body. Steve can help you master the art - and my eBook can help you find the words for your discoveries.

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Speaking to love – 3 Speak Strong in Love posts
I posted a few things on my SpeakStronginLove.com site this week.
- An Invitation to Joy
- The Power of Invitations
- The Pot and the Kettle

http://www.speakstronginlove.com/blog/

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Making self-worth a non-issue
“Becky” made a post to my blog last week that got me thinking about self-worth. So often we are on one side of some duality or another and it keeps us running in the hamster wheel. The moments off of the hamster wheel are precious indeed. Self-worth issues drive most of us. Often we’re feeling a lack of it or we’re enjoying a wealth of it. But when we’re inflated or deflated, we’re still caught in a limited game. I cherish the moments when I’m absorbed in creativity or appreciating the people in my life and my own worth is a non-issue. I’d love to hear your comments on self worth.
http://bit.ly/Agm0T

I’m reading David Whyte, The Heart Aroused. Poetry and the Preservation of the Soul in Corporate America. http://bit.ly/xKduy   Any fans?

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PowerPhrase – I saw it first
My husband and I have a cat, which means we get occasional gifts on the carpet, otherwise known as hairballs. Occasionally I’d pretend I hadn’t seen the present, knowing that my husband would clean it when he saw it. One day I realized I wasn’t behaving in a way that contributes to the kind of relationship I want. I developed a new habit of exclaiming

• I saw it first. I get to clean it up.

Now finding it first has become a prize because we get to serve the other. It’s a powerful shift in attitude.

Has anyone tried this kind of shift at work?

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Poison Phrase – Are you sure you want to…
Lest you think I have my communication skills perfected, I will burst your bubble. A few weeks back, my husband was preparing to cook a pizza at the end of a cleansing diet. I asked,

- Are you sure you want to eat the pizza?

I didn’t consider how my word choice contributed to the ensuing defensiveness until a friend said, “That’s parental and it turns your husband into a child.” I was busted. This is subtle stuff, but in relationships, subtlety matters. If you speak to people in parental ways, they will either regress or resist. Either way undermines sovereignty and respect.  

That doesn’t mean you have to hold your tongue. Request permission to express first. say,

• May I make an observation?

Then, once invited, express your concern as one adult to another.

While seeking an invitation changes the whole dynamic, the real transformation comes from recognizing and respecting other’s sovereignty over their own lives. The right words come more naturally once the attitude is one of respect.

Subtle stuff – but very powerful. Just ask my husband – he has volunteered his appreciation for the difference numerous times.

I appreciate my friend’s willingness to bust me. He has a way of doing it that respects my autonomy. He asks to be invited in, and because I know he has something to tell me I need to hear, I always extend the invitation. His insight makes me much more fun to be around. And more effective, which is why I suggest you use this tip at work.  

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More blog posts and random observations

• Crossword puzzle Poison Phrase. ER helpers. Answer, nurse http://bit.ly/YGqT1
• Crossword Poison Phrase: “White cap wearer” answer nurse http://bit.ly/o6dT0
• Quick tip: New to twitter workshop: http://phylliskhare.com http://bit.ly/SjimB
• “West Side Story” for the new millennium: http://collegehumor.com/video
• Power Phrase ~ I didn’t get to my punch line http://bit.ly/ti0mU
• Baby blues comic today: "Uncertainty is my new favorite toy."
• Saw sign for "Paragon Gutters." Seemed a bit exalted for gutters but at least they weren't "Glorious Gutters" or "Paragon Portal-Potties."

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Success Story (if you love a good cry)
Meryl, I just read this week’s newsletter and "The Secret Power of Tears" article and "The Art of Crying" poem http://bit.ly/hvVbE and guess what........

I cried and cried and cried, and discovered so much (about myself, feelings, and emotions) reading that one page.

Thank you to you and Jeffery Armstrong, and please don’t stop doing what you do.

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Got a question or comment? Ask Meryl.