Issue 367, Nov. 11, 2009
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Perfect wording encompasses precision AND beauty

Here’s a quote for you that came to me from a reader.

"Never let a day go by that you don’t nourish yourself with beautiful words." – Lisa Miller

As a word lover, I love precision. I delight in finding the perfect word for my message. But perfection is more than precision. It’s also beauty. It’s eloquence. It’s grace.

For example, a friend and I were talking about the expression “setting boundaries,” which comes from real estate and implies fences and barriers. But there’s another side to "setting boundaries." It’s honoring the wholeness of an individual. And that isn’t just precise, it’s beautiful.

So when you play with words in your life, go for precision AND beauty.

The dark side of ROI and uninformed expectations

Read here.

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PowerPhrase: What are you not saying?

Nanci told Jorge that she was going to use another vendor for a particular project. When he asked why, she gave a few reasons that didn’t quite add up. They had worked together on many projects in the past and he had always had a sense of trust. So he asked her,

• What are you not saying?

Nanci took permission from his question to answer him at a more truthful level. She let him know about issues some of her colleagues had with his style of updating. His question didn’t get him the contract, but it did inform him of changes he needed to make.

Often people don’t even think to tell you what’s really going on until they get a clear sense of permission to share information you might not enjoy hearing.

PowerPhrase: This is awkward

Once in training I spoke about how productivity declines when people work more than 40 hours a week. What I didn’t know but soon found out was that my group of managers was mandated to work 49 hours each week. The CEO was out of the room when I made my comment, so my attendees asked me to repeat the statement when he returned. I did, but prefaced it with,

• This is awkward.

Acknowledging the undercurrent of communication doesn’t resolve awkwardness or eliminate tension, but it does smooth the path much more than pretending nothing is happening.

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Poison Phrase: Like that’s going to happen…

Cindy told Matt that she would update him on recent events when they met for lunch. Matt replied,

- Like that’s going to happen.

Matt doubted Cindy would make good on her promise to have lunch with him, and he communicated it with sarcasm.

Sarcasm is destructive, but behind every sarcastic remark is a need that needs to find its perfect expression. Read more about that here. Put Sarcasm in Its Place: How Sarcasm Alerts You to Your Need to Speak Strong

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Reader Question: How do I talk about my criminal record in job interviews?

Meryl,

I am without employment after searching for over a year. I have a criminal record as a recovering addict with three years clean. Please  let me know the best way to handle a job interview productively. I am a licensed CNA and particularly would like to help people get their lives together.

My response:

Readers, can you help with this one? What do you recommend? And what resources are available? Thanks.

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Blog comments

The dark side of ROI and uninformed expectations

Reader Question: When subordinates abuse power

PowerPhrase: I would like to meet you in person to discuss this

Poison Phrase: She does that with everyone