Issue 368, Nov. 19, 2009
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Women in male-dominated industries

One of my clients just wrote me that before she read PowerPhrases!, the only communication tool she had in her toolbox was a hammer.

She’s a woman in a male-dominated industry. I had presented a webinar for her professional association. The questions centered around how to communicate as a woman in an industry that hasn’t yet figured out that women are now prominent in the workforce.

Women actually can have an advantage in those settings. Why? Because women tend to use more tools than just a hammer.

Are you interested in participating in a tele-forum about women in male-dominated industries? You don't have to be female to participate. Let me know if you are interested. And tell me if you prefer a day time or evening event.

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Bad form, even for a spammer

Everything we do communicates. I somehow got added to the email distribution list of a vendor I don’t know. Ironically, when I went to unsubscribe, I received a spam arrest notice. “I’m protecting myself from spam,” the notice began. So in order for me to unsubscribe from an unsolicited newsletter, I had to click a link and type in a code.

What does that communicate to you?

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Social Networking PowerPhrase: I like to keep my personal life separate to my work.

This PowerPhrase comes from a reader whose boss asked for access to her personal social networking site.

• It is nothing personal. While I enjoy working with you, I like to keep my personal life separate to my work.

Read the whole comment here.

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PowerPhrase: I am placing that into long-term memory

I was silent after a friend shared some knowledge with me. I realized he wouldn’t know how to interpret my silence so I explained:

• I’m putting that into long-term memory.

He realized that my silence was testament to the power of his words rather than dismissive.

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Poison Phrase: You’re angry, aren’t you?

Questions are a valuable way to get information, clarify assumptions, and show respect for other people. But questions like,

- You’re angry, aren’t you?

…aren’t really questions. They’re assumptions disguised as questions.

• What are you feeling?

or,

• Are you angry?

are better approaches.

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Reader success story: Feeling words dispel anger

Meryl,

My father only recently learned that the anger he has lived with is a secondary emotion and he needed to discover the primary emotion in order to stop feeling angry all the time. I pointed him in the direction of your feeling word list. Thanks for all the resources you provide.

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Blog comments

Undercover for the boss

A criminal record and job interviews

Precision and beauty

The dark side of ROI and uninformed expectations

Got a comment or question? Comment on my blog and Ask Meryl.