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Issue 378, April 7, 2010 Do not hit reply New Dynamics of Communication PostsEnjoy my new blog posts. My videographer has a video about The Office and mocumentaries with examples of creative ways to get your message out. I quote DM Scott as saying that by not teaching modern marketing methods, professors are guilty of malpractice. I think they need my books in the curriculum too - many communication classes do use them. I posted about how many words for love there are in Sanskrit, and the limits of having so few. And I also posted about seven-year-old Elaina Smith who has a radio show and gets more people asking for advice than I do. Humbling. Oh, yes, and there's the picture of the farm my father grew up in in Iceland. It's isolated and beautiful and it's making me want to travel this summer.Check them out and join the conversation. PowerPhrase: I thought I heard a dig. Did I?When someone uses sarcasm with you, an excellent response is,
If they say yes, at least you have the truth out on the table where you can deal with it. More comebacks. Read and comment. Poison Phrase: If working with me is so fun, why are you billing?My free-lance designer sent me an invoice with a note saying my projects are his favorite. I was tempted to tease him by saying, - If working with me is so fun, why are you billing? I refrained. Even though my intent would have been playful, it sends the wrong message. I responded instead by telling him how glad I am that he likes my projects, because my creative style is a challenge for many designers. It’s true – I love his willingness to design with very little to start with, and his flexibility when I go down very different paths than we started down. His note was gracious, and in the end, I prefer responding with grace as well. Reader question: Desperately seeking phrases to address bare-handed deli-muncherMeryl, I enjoy your emails, especially when I learn better ways to handle difficult situations. I particularly liked the line cutting PowerPhrase. I thought of that topic when I was at the grocery store this past weekend, but it wasn’t line cutting that brought it to mind. The grocery store has various types of olives in a serve-yourself display. I needed olives, and was considering getting a few at this display when I saw an older man reach in with his bare hands and pick up an olive to eat. This isn’t the first time I’ve seen adults do this. Of course, I returned to the bottled olives for my purchase. But I was wondering what I could have said to the man to let him know he was noticed and that he should not do that. The best I could come up with was asking that the deli remove that display because of people like him. Do you have any suggestions for something to say to people who reach into bulk bins of food to take a taste? This really seems like a touchy situation, but someone should say something. Response, Thanks! That line-cutting experiment was a great research project! My general guideline is to focus on what we want more than what they’re doing we don’t like. So I’m thinking:
You could make a playful joking remark, like,
Comment, collaborate and contribute Reader success story: The doc was wrong and Dr. Google was rightA reader wrote: I was misdiagnosed as bipolar when I really had narcolepsy. A consultation with Dr. Google really helped cinch the diagnosis. I went back to my doctor with a letter describing my symptoms and asked to be tested. He prescribed the sleep study. A few years later my son was diagnosed with an epilepsy syndrome. He was put on meds that made him crazy. Dr. Google said the symptoms didn’t make sense for that syndrome. I got a second opinion and he has a different type of epilepsy, and we got him off those horrible drugs. In current times, patients really have to advocate for themselves. Just watch mystery diagnosis. Doctors often think people are “faking” to get attention, but this is probably rare. If you have insurance that lets you, get a second opinion if you think something is not right. Always question the medications they put you on and ask about alternatives to the treatments they prescribe. After I have asked, I have been able to use foods or herbs instead of the drugs they originally suggested. Blog commentsI enjoyed the blog posts this week immensely. Dan Mulhern is a bit of a hero of mine, so it was an honor that he posted on my post about him.@danmulhern: significant stats on men, women and work. There were a number of suggestions about how to decline a friend request, and once again a reader caught a nuance I missed. One reader commented on an older post about people talking over her - and calling HER aggressive. There were comments about non-linear communication which I was delighted to read. If you ever show undue respect for expert advice that conflicts with your own perception, Grace's comment will inspire you to trust yourself. In this case the expert is a doctor. It's a success story along the lines of the one above. Enjoy!
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