Issue 381, May 26, 2010

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or email here: Ask Meryl.

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Success story: negotiating workload

A reader wrote: "Recently my supervisor volunteered us for another time-consuming project. He came to my office and said: "You will make this work easily and efficiently just as you have with your other duties.” I asked him:

• What projects of mine do you see as being a priority?
  

He listed off the most important tasks. I then asked:

• Which duty could I delegate in order to have adequate time to make this new project successful?
  

He stared at me dumbfounded for almost an entire minute (47 seconds as I watched the clock above his head) before he answered: "None." I told him that I could not give the project the time and attention it needed to be a success with my current duties. I then asked how we might be able to split the duties between some of our personnel. We talked for another fifteen minutes before we had a plan written out. We now have implemented the new changes and things are running smoothly. I am proud that I was able to tell my supervisor NO without using the word.

This woman gracefully managed her manager.See the next post for more about that. I give very concrete tips about how to do that in the SpeakStrong at Work CD mentioned next and the Assistant SpeakStrong Smart and Sweet DVD.

Read article here
Comment.here

Help me make you happy with your success stories and you with your newsletter feedback.

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Tips to manage the manager. Interview with @danmulhern Everyday Leaders

When Dan Mulhern invited me on his Every Day Leader show, neither one of us knew it would take the direction it did. He kept asking me for phrases to speak to a manager who hasn't gotten you the information you need to move forward. I kept talking about the conversations  to manage our managers before the situation gets to that point. It’s called being proactive.

You can read Dan’s post about it here and listen to the pod cast here. I describe the conversations we all need to have to establish great working relationships with our managers  in the CD that comes at the back of my SpeakStrong book. It really is about being an everyday leader – taking charge BEFORE there are problems – whether we have the word leader in our title or not.

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Learn to manage your manager with me in Boston at the IAAP convention.

You don't need to be an assistant or an IAAP member to attend my PowerPhrases, Dynamic Conversations And SpeakStrong Strategies,

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PowerPhrase: What are you interested in? Remembering to ask.

It amazes me how often this kind of thing happens. I was in the process of designing upcoming webinars to launch when I finish the book I’m working on now, when I received an email from a subscriber inquiring about webinars. I started to respond about what I have coming up. but paused for a moment and asked her,

• What webinars are you interested in?

Her response was very informative. Very much in line with my thinking, but with clear angles.

What questions do you remind yourself to ask? Read and comment.

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Poison Phrase: How can we make them collaborate?

In the film Avatar, Colonel Quaritch asks the question,

- How can we make them collaborate?

Collaboration is popular these days. And, it's not just for women anymore. That's why some coin the language without adopting the approach. I’m sure Colonel Quaritch isn’t the only authoritarian to refer to collaboration so ironically.

Read the post and comment

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Reader question: Phrases to address an ungrateful subordinate

Meryl,

I saved my secretary’s job, get her time off, and generally look out for her, but have yet to receive a thank-you. I find this hard to deal with. I grew up in a generation by parents who expected you to show respect for those in authority positions. How can I deal with her ungraciousness?

Reply,

I’d ask her about it. Not from the platform of authority, but individuals. Don’t pull rank, but do be human. Say something like,

• I was happy to stand up for your job, and am happy to help you in other ways. But I’m curious why you don’t say thank-you. It takes some of the fun out of it for me, and also makes me wonder if you appreciate what I do or not. Do you have an issue with me that keeps you from acknowledging me? Is there something we need to discuss here?

Think of yourselves as being on a team together and this as the kind of discussion team members have.

Does this help? What do you think?

Comment and contribute

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Friends of Irony illustrate mixed messages in hilarious ways

Do you ever get mixed messages? You know, things like,

- I love your hair. Do you cut it yourself?

or,

- I care deeply about you. But I don’t have time to listen to your babble.

Or set-up messages like:

-  Don’t think about elephants.

“Friends of Irony” illustrate the challenge of mixed messages in hilarious ways. Here’s one for starters.

Check out the rest of the fun here.

This struck me today because I have an associate who sends verbal messages like this visual. Do you know folks who talk like this picture?

 

Read and comment

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Blog comments

People agreed with Joy's feedback about the newsletter. I'd love to read what you think about the changes I've made.

I also got positive feedback about speaking to people who are grieving.

Grace offered some useful tips on approaching a moody coworker.

The Facebook friending discussion continues.

There are many blog posts that aren't in the newsletter here. Check them out.