Issue 385, July 1, 2010
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Free Webinar on addressing gossip and manipulation
Sponsored by McGraw Hill
Gossip got you down at work? Is manipulation a standard for communication in your office? For some leaders and managers, an adversarial, diminishing communication culture is so common that we don’t even notice anymore.
McGraw Hill is sponsoring a free webinar series on communication in the workplace. I’ll be presenting the first one, July 27th. Check it out and reserve your spot!
It celebrates two things. The release of my revised Perfect Phrases for Managers and Supervisors book, and McGraw HIll's new Perfect Phrases online web tool.
Reader success story: when the boss blindsides you
A reader wrote: I remember a situation when a new boss blind-sided me in front of her boss (my first interaction with him) accusing me of creating a problem. In actuality, I had done my portion well, with no errors. The next person in the chain caused a small imperfection (you would laugh if I told you what it was). Instead of asking me about the perceived problem, she accused me of wrong doing.
After we got the issue worked out and were alone, I explained (rather boldly for me) that I could spend my time in the office working productively or I could spend it looking over my shoulder waiting to be blind-sided. I said that I would rather work, but the natural instinct when one feels at risk for attack is to look over one’s shoulder.
I explained that which option I ended up using was up to her and how she treated me. I added that if she had problems in the future with my work, I would appreciate her asking me before assuming I had failed to meet her expectations. I don’t know as it changed her approach long term, but it did for a while, and I felt much better about myself as I worked in a difficult environment.
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Perfect Phrases for Managers and Supervisors second edition now available. Free book offer for Amazon reviews.
We don't often get do-overs, but I got one. And do it over I did. I revised my Perfect 
Phrases for Managers and Supervisors book from top to bottom with new dynamics sprinkled throughout. It's not an expensive book so I freely recommend you get the new version, even if you already have the older one.
I love it. And just to inspire Amazon reviews, I have an offer. Buy a copy from me or from Amazon and post a review to Amazon by July 21st, and I will send you a free copy of my SpeakStrong book. No kidding. Sound like a plan?
You can also get the revised phrase book in my three and four management book specials.
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PowerPhrase: If you were me, what questions would you ask now?
I was on the phone with David discussing his offer. A couple of questions I asked were particularly useful. I didn't just take notes on what David had to say, I took notes on what I said. Here are a couple of my questions for him.
- If you were me right now, what questions would you ask?
and,
- If there was a downside, what would it be?
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PowerPhrase: The IAAP will have a PowerPhrases GiRaffle in Boston
What do you call it when you have a drawing for a cute stuffed Pippin Giraffe that you enter by suggesting PowerPhrases?
Why, a:
of course.
Susan Fenner, IAAP’s Education and Professional Development Manager came up with the idea.
And it made me wonder why they need me to teach PowerPhrases when they have her.
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Dynamic dignity, corporate ignominy #4: Even my IPod says good-bye, Part A
Here’s how I found out it was over. A trainer called to ask if she could buy PowerPhrases from me directly since The Company That Must Not Be Named isn’t carrying it anymore.
Fascinating. Did they decide this before or after I printed 15K books based on their projections? And after 13 years, why do I find out from someone I don’t know? I called to find out. I started by mentioning the call I received.
-She better not have been planning to sell them at seminars. She’ll be fired if she does..
Um, you kind of missed the point of my call. Why didn’t you tell me so I could start figuring out how to move the books I printed based on your specs?
“We don’t share proprietary information with vendors. We just let them figure it out when they don’t get orders anymore.”
Even my IPOD says good-bye. And we haven’t known each other nearly as long.
Stay tuned for part B when I tell you the precedent which suggests perhaps I shouldn’t have been surprised.
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Success Story in Progress #4: When the paved road crumbles, other interesting roads appear
Barbara led me to Mark who led me to Nettie who led me to Hampton who led me to Marti who led me to David who led me to his Pub board who sent me an offer this afternoon. I got off the phone wondering, could it really be this easy? I'm doing due diligence, but it looks like a fit to me.
When I started writing my When the Paved Road Crumbles song, I had faith that I would find new opportunities that would make my recent set-back one of the best things that happened in my career. Now I write from faith reinforced by experience. I find new opportunities daily. The Paved Road has its advantages, but so do the creatively alchemical ones. I’m enjoying the view.
A lot of us are going through major changes. I share my journey in part for those who haven’t seen the glimmer of the new path yet. It’s there. You might need to travel a number of roads before you find the one that fits. That’s where faith, creativity and persistence come in.
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Watch my Oprah "What can I help you say today show" video audition
On Friday, Sunshine sent me an email about her audition for a show on Oprah’s new OWN Network . Saturday I created a video audition of my own. Check out my “What Can I Help You Say Today” show.
One of the audition questions was, "why do you think you'll win?" Uh, truthfully? I believe they received over 20 thousand entries, many from very talented people. My question is,
- Do you have to think you'll win to play?
Actually, I think I already won, just going through the process. I got a lot of clarity putting it together.
Vote for me if you like it.
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PowerPhrase for a complainer: let me tell you how I respond when I hear you complain. A part of me wants to…
We all need to complain at times. I can lend an ear for a while, but there comes a point when I need to say something. If you feel that way too, you might find this PowerPhrase useful.
- Let me tell you how I respond when you complain. A part of me wants to take care of you because you sound like a helpless victim. Another part of me wants to shake you because I know you’re not. I don’t enjoy either response and invite you to gather your resources and tell me what you want or what you’re going to do about the situation.
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blog comments
Reader questions how to address ungrateful young subordinate
Success story in progress: responding to corporate ignominy
