Issue 386, July 7, 2010

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Webinar sneak preview: A good way and a great way to address gossip at work

I hauled out my web cam and made a video about gossip at work. It tells a story of a manager who handled the situation well, and how he could have handled it brilliantly.

Bad communicators think they've communicated well if they've spoken their minds, even if they don't get a good result. Other bad communicators think they communicated well if they get what they want, even if they've hurt or alienate people.

Good communicators think they've communicated well if they get what they want without undue strain on relationships.

And great communicators? Watch the video and see. And register for McGraw Hill's free webinar July 27th. Registration is open now at www.perfectphrases.com. (It wasn't up when I first linked to it last week.)

Of course, my new Perfect Phrases book will give you the exact phrases great communicators use. Turning management problems into opportunities really isn't just the latest buzz word.

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Success story: The rejection letter that resulted in an endorsement

Your kind “non acceptance” note was one of the classiest and well written I have ever seen in the publishing industry. Although my author’s manuscript was not chosen I will continue to send you projects in the future."

I think the caliber of a company is reflected in how they treat people they aren't doing business with. Too often companies forget to extend grace to those who aren't making them any money.

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Power Phrases: I wish I could let you take all the time you want to tie things up. I'd like to give you the kind of send-off you deserve.

Many companies have a policy that says when employment is terminated, the employee is escorted out immediately. There are good reasons for that policy, but it can be humiliating for someone who is also suffering the indignity of losing their job.

When Bob's department closed and his manager told him to escort his team out immediately, he said,

• There's no one in that group who is any kind of a threat. After their years of service, they deserve more than that.

His manager agreed and they took their time.

Not everyone has that flexibility, however. That's why I have phrases in my new Perfect Phrases for Managers and Supervisors for implementing policy that may be unavoidable, but still seems ignominious.

• I wish I could let you take all the time you want to tie things up. I can't. but you deserve a good send-off.

You don't need to pretend to like a policy to enforce it. Sometimes both you and your company look better if you don't.

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Poison Phrase: Turn in your cell phone and pager. Here's your last paycheck.

After ten years of service, Martha lost her job due to cutbacks. There was no thank-you for her service. Only,

-Turn in your cell phone and pager. Here's your last paycheck.

It was disheartening, and it's happening all over America.

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Previous emails were warm and personal. Then Nancy got an email from Amy, her designer, that read,

- Pursuant to our existent agreement regarding proceeding in a prudent amount of time, we are invoicing you for services previously rendered. Payment must be rendered in ten calendar days. Please advise if you elect to utilize our services in the future.

Nancy wondered, who are you and what have you done with Amy? She had every intention to continue to work with Amy more, but this kind of languaging made her wonder.

How can people suddenly be so cold?

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Our new boss of less than 30 days has a terrible approach when one of us is needed in her office. Rather than email, set up meeting times in advance, or simply walking over to our desks (which are approximately 10 steps from her office), she will yell for us by name and wait until we come to her call. She does this anywhere that she feels is a distance still within earshot. It makes us feel like little children being called by our mother and it causes us to feel disrespected. Add to this the fact that she is a 6 foot tall and has no problems cussing people out and swearing constantly, and this situation is unfortunately intimidating.

Dynamic dignity, corporate ignominy #5: Even my IPod says good-bye, Part B Calendared out

Last week I posted about how a company I've been associated with for 13 years cut my book from their lists right after I printed 30 thousand copies. They made no mention that their projections had changed, and I found out about the decision weeks later from a third party. When I asked why they hadn't told me they were thinking about cutting my book before I went to press, they explained that they never tell vendors they won't be ordering from them anymore - they let the vendors figure it out on their own.

I loved Grace's comment to the post.

"We just let them figure it out when they don’t get orders anymore??? Hmm. This makes me think about being a manager and having an employee once in a while just stop showing up for work (nature of the business I was in, unfortunately). They too seemed to think that we would just “figure out” that they didn’t feel like working there anymore. We did — sometimes after several phone calls and quizzing of other employees and often with much concern as to what had happened to them."

Grace went on to note,

 “When you lay off employees, do you tell them or do you just lock them out one day?” 

Well, Grace isn't that far off. This company uses independent contractors to teach their seminars. They schedule them by sending out calendars with their dates and cities listed. Some months are heavy and other months are light. Even their top trainers get blank calendars at times. No message, just a calendar that looks like this.

I stopped teaching seminars in my prime, so I never experienced this, but my son worked for them for a year. When they decided to stop scheduling him, they sent him month after month of blank calendars. Yep. he would open his Fed Ex package each month to find an empty calendar. They just let the trainers figure out they no longer had a source of income with this company. They just let the trainers figure out that they've been "calendared out." So why should I be surprised that after a 13 year association, they let me figure out I had 30 thousand books to move?

Even my Ipod says goodbye when I shut it down. It's simple courtesy, isn't it?

(Please note, I had many great years in my association with this company. That's what made the senseless heartlessness of their final behaviors all the more devastating.)

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Success Story in Progress #5: My new road.

I signed the contracts today. I found a home for my inventory and my creativity and my entrepreneurial spirit with Morgan James Publishing. Their offer welcomed me to the Morgan James Family and we're making plans for this to be only the beginning.

It feels like a wonderful new road and a lovely fit. When the paved road crumbles, it's time to find one you like better. I believe I have.

It's not feeling like a success story in progress any more. It feels like I'm home.

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