From a good way to manage a gossip problem
to a dynamically great one.

How to turn a communication challenge into an opportunity

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How do you define successful communication?
Some people think they’re successful when they give people a piece of their minds, even if they don’t get results. Others think they’re successful if they get a narrow result, no matter who it hurts or alienates. Others consider communication successful if they get a specific result without damaging relationships.How do you define successful communication?

If you're a dynamic leader, manager and communicator, you have a comprehensive definition of success. You know that every communication situation carries an opportunity with it. You go into a conversation open to yet unimagined possibilities. And you define success as getting a specific result or an even better result while deepening and dynamizing relationships.

Handling office gossip dynamically
Here’s an example. Most leaders and managers need to address gossip and manipulation in the workplace at some time. And Steve did it very effectively. He gathered his department and explained that the gossip had to stop. He detailed the high cost of gossip. He declared that it would stop immediately – that although they knew who the main perpetrators were, everyone had a clean slate as of that moment – but after that moment, anyone who was found gossiping would be dismissed. He instructed anyone who was on the receiving end of gossip refuse to engage.

And it worked. Staff member who had been caught up in it now felt the moral support they needed from the policy to refuse to participate. The main perpetrator soon left, asserting that she would “never let anyone tell her what she could or couldn’t say.”

Most people would say Steve managed the situation well. I would agree. But with a little tweak, this good and successful communication could have been a great, dynamically successful communication.

Yesterday's success is not good enough for today.
The story of Steve and his department happened 20 years ago. The workplace dynamics have changed since then. You see, Steve came on like a daddy home from work, laying down the rules of the house to the kids. And when leaders and managers treat staff like kids, staff becomes like kids.

The new workplace environment is not an autocracy. It’s not a democracy, either, where majorities rule. It’s a synocracy, based on collaboration and dialogue, not command and control.

In the new environment, dynamic leaders and managers address gossip by collaboratively developing a vision of the kind of communication culture the department wants to create.

Dynamic leaders engage the dynamic adults inside their staff.

A slightly different an approach is a completely different approach.
Here’s what it looks like. Steve goes in and says, “We have a gossip problem. What are we going to do about it?”

Suddenly everyone owns the problem.

Instead of lecturing, Steve facilitates a discussion where everyone discusses how gossip affects them and why they want it to stop. The discussion helps everyone relate to a time and ways where they were harmed by gossip. He facilitates a discussion of what is and isn’t gossip, so people don’t overreact and become afraid to address issues . He facilitates a discussion about what kind of communication culture they want to have in contrast to the kind of culture they had just described. And he facilitates a conversation about how they will create that culture.

As a result, not only does the gossip problem stop, but adults walk out of the room, instead of kids.

That’s not just good, successful communication. It’s great, dynamically successful communication.

How to turn a communication challenge into an opportunity
What conversations do you need to address dynamically? Here are the steps to turn a communication challenge into an opportunity.
1. Define the problem as a shared one.
2. Invite others to weigh in on why it is a problem.
3. Invite a discussion of possibilities.
4. Brainstorm action steps to create the possibilities.
5. Get commitment to implement the steps.
6. Have a follow-up meeting where you celebrate progress, tweak your steps and reaffirm your commitment.

I’ll go into detail with phrases and points at the free McGraw Hill webinar Perfect Phrases for Dealing with Gossip and Manipulation. How dynamic managers turn contentious communication into collaborative dynamics. You can register at www.perfectphrases.com.

 


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Meryl Runion and Speak Strong (SpeakStrong) provides Power Phrases (PowerPhrases) and other tools to help you improve communication skills at work and at home. You can read more about her at www.speakstrong.com.

Meryl is the author of six books on communication that have sold over a quarter million copies worldwide, including Speak Strong, PowerPhrases!, How to Use PowerPhrases, Perfect Phrases for Managers and Supervisors, and How to Say It: Performance Reviews. You can reach her at 719-684-2633, or by email:

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