Losing my Preachiness
an empowered new communication

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The book ended with the words, “and the moral of the story is…”

I almost didn’t read that far. The tale was too preachy to hold my interest. It seemed to be a thin disguise for excessive moralizing. I like to draw my own ethical conclusions. Most of us do. That’s one reason why I’m losing my preachiness.

Age is humbling. Who hasn’t looked back and cringed over something they righteously declared that now seems misinformed… or just plain stupid?

It can work the other way. Who hasn’t reflected on their lives and marveled, “Wow, I did that? I knew that?”

That’s where I find myself as I revise my third book, Perfect Phrases for Managers and Supervisors. I’m impressed with the brilliance of my writing in some points, and humbled by the limits in others. I’m also horrified by the occasional preachiness I discover on some of my pages. In the years since I wrote that book, I’ve been losing my preachiness.

The old rules of communication are giving way to a new dynamic. The top-down, holier-than-thou pedantic preachiness is yielding to new communication dynamics of personal interaction and reciprocal engagement. May preachiness rest in peace.

Who doesn’t want to preach when there are so many things wrong? It’s tough to refrain from calling others out for their narrowness, limits or poor choices. But resist we must, because we’re in a world that has little tolerance for parental chastising. We can’t stand on sidelines and soapboxes and point out flaws any more. Learning now goes both ways. The word “teachable moments” made the list of words to loose in 2010 because it is considered condescending. Instead of teachable moments, we now have educational moments where everyone is invited to contribute to new discoveries.

Like me, you’ve probably said and done things throughout your life from a soapbox – things you would rephrase and redo if you could. Usually we don’t have that opportunity. But I do have the blessing of being able to revise a book I wrote five years ago. I get to take the preachiness out of it. I’m even getting paid to do it.

We don’t usually get do-overs. That’s a rare blessing. But we do get to change how we communicate moving forward. We can relate more with and preach less at the world around us. And that is a beautiful thing. The moral of this article is… whatever it inspires in you.

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Meryl Runion and Speak Strong (SpeakStrong) provides Power Phrases (PowerPhrases) and other tools to help you improve communication skills at work and at home. You can read more about her at www.speakstrong.com.

Meryl is the author of six books on communication that have sold over a quarter million copies worldwide, including Speak Strong, PowerPhrases!, How to Use PowerPhrases, Perfect Phrases for Managers and Supervisors, and How to Say It: Performance Reviews. You can reach her at 719-684-2633, or by email:

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