How to Communicate with Your Doctor
Assertiveness in Health Care

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A common scenario
Rodney waited for 50 minutes in the examining room for his physician to come in. By the time his doctor arrived he had already counted the ceiling tiles five times and even named a fly that had found its way in with him. He also needed to visit the restroom, but was unwilling to get up in his examining gown to go there. When the doctor finally walked in he seemed rushed and distracted. He glanced at Rodney’s forms and talked quickly throughout his brief exam.

Rodney had symptoms he wanted to discuss. His symptoms were personal and Rodney was embarrassed. Because the doctor seemed so rushed Rodney didn’t ask his questions. The doctor said he was going to give Rodney something to help. Rodney did not know what it was.

A nurse came in a few minutes to give him the doctor’s prescription. The nurse seemed so young that Rodney decided to address his questions of his pharmacist.

A costly rush
With the pressure from managed care, it is common for physician follow up exams to be spaced 15 minutes apart. This includes getting undressed and dressed. The need for expediency can result in communication breakdowns that can result in inadequate care and even death. Medical mistakes kill 100,000 Americans a year.

However, rather than lament about how inadequate the system is, it is important for patients to do anything in their power to work with it. Seniors must take responsibility for their care and use PowerPhrases to get the care they require.

Get your questions answered!
A PowerPhrase is a short, specific expression that gets results by saying what it means and meaning what it says without being mean when it says it.

By planning specific phrases to use in advance of the appointment, seniors find that they can impact the outcome. As Harriet Jonsson says, “I tell my doctor exactly what I need him to know. I do not leave until my questions are answered.”

Some PowerPhrases that she and many others have used to ensure excellent care are:

  • “I understand that you are busy. However I want to make sure you understand my symptoms and that I learn everything you can teach me about my condition and care.”
  • “My symptoms are..”. “These are the medications I am taking…”
  • “These are the herbs and vitamins I take… What interacts with what?”
  • “My main goal is…”

Bring a journal of all pertinent information, questions and even phrases so you do not have to rely on memory.

Uncomfortable or confused?
Say so! It is not only appropriate, but essential that anyone who feels confused or uncomfortable, says so! PowerPhrases are:

“I am aware that you are busy. However, I am feeling rushed and I need to be sure that my questions are answered. Please give me the time I need.”

“I’m not comfortable with how fast you are talking. I need you to slow down and help me understand.”

More possible questions are:

  • “What is my diagnosis?”
  • “Can you explain that in a way I can understand better?”
  • “Does my insurance cover the tests you are ordering?”
  • “How do I prepare for the tests?”
  • “Would a physician in a different specialty agree with the treatment plan?”
  • “What do the drugs you recommend do?”
  • “Is there a generic equivalent?”
  • “Is this medication necessary or optional?”
  • “What are the side effects?”

Rodney did not use any of these PowerPhrases with his doctor. He did mention some concerns to his pharmacist, who thought Rodney was experiencing some side effect from medication. (Drug interactions cause 7000 deaths per year.) The pharmacist called the doctor and got Rodney’s prescription changed. He told Rodney he needed to be more assertive with his doctor. Don’t let your appointment amount to a quick “How are you doing?” Make every minute count. Do your homework going in by being systematic and organized in your preparation. If you do, you will have done your part in respecting the doctor’s time.

Then you can be confident in using your PowerPhrases to ensure that you get what you need from your visit.

You can learn more in my newly posted interview from Clint;s Cures called How to Talk to Your Doctor


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• Related Article: A Question of Communication Style: Seven Strategies to Bridge the Communication Style Gap

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Meryl Runion and Speak Strong (SpeakStrong) provides Power Phrases (PowerPhrases) and other tools to help you improve communication skills at work and at home. You can read more about her at www.speakstrong.com.

Meryl is the author of six books on communication that have sold over a quarter million copies worldwide, including Speak Strong, PowerPhrases!, How to Use PowerPhrases, Perfect Phrases for Managers and Supervisors, and How to Say It: Performance Reviews. You can reach her at 719-684-2633, or by email:

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