Educate, Don't Excoriate
SpeakStrong to turn a diversity blunder into a diversity breakthrough
A desperate diversity landmine
The popular Desperate Housewives show stepped on what diversity strategist and consultant Jody Alyn ¹ calls a "diversity landmine." A doctor suggested the character Susan might be in menopause. Susan responded,
- OK, before we go any further, can I check these diplomas? Just to make sure they aren’t, like, from some med school in the Philippines?
Watching, I thought, “I didn’t know Filipino doctors were poorly trained.”
Apparently they’re not. The comment stirred up outrage and demands for apologies. ABC did apologize.
Some people suggest that the outrage was unnecessary since Desperate Housewives is just a “silly comedy show.” (It’s one of my guilty pleasures.)
I disagree. Something did need to be said to keep this false stereotype from being perpetuated. When someone steps on a diversity landmine, it’s an important opportunity to educate and move on. That turns a diversity landmine into a diversity gold mine. Because of the incident and the objections, I now know more than before about the Filipino medical system.
¹ http://www.bethechange.biz/programs/NEW.htm
Treacherous terrain
When you speak to, with or about a social group you don’t belong to, you risk stepping on diversity landmines and exposing stereotypes you don’t know you have. Speak anyway. That’s how you learn.
Over my years as a professional speaker, I’ve been told how different things I said might seem offensive to men, blacks, smokers, gays, Asians and the disabled. None of my offenses were intentional and each was apparent once pointed out. While I regret any offense I caused, as a result of my misspeaks and the gracious feedback I received, I now know more about each of these groups than I would have had I not tread the diversity terrain.
Let’s give each other a break
I perceive from my experience, you perceive from yours, and when we dialog freely we can learn from each other. In the dialog process, our ignorance is sure to be exposed. That’s where the opportunity comes in – the opportunity to educate, not disparage. And when someone does point out your limitations, that too is an opportunity to learn, instead of counterattack. I’d rather we step on each other’s toes and correct each other than stay silent out of fear to speak.
So open your mouth, speak your peace and take your hits as they come. If your critics lack grace – if you feel attacked instead of educated – keep your mind and your heart open. It’s more pleasant to be gently corrected, but you can learn from the less graceful as well.
Comment here: http://www.speakstrong.com/newsletter/2007/10/07/poison-phrase-diploma-from-the-filipines/#respond– and please be graceful.
» Update « Desperate Housewives edited the offending remark out of the reruns. Sometimes all you have to do is educate and ask.
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Meryl Runion and Speak Strong (SpeakStrong) provides Power Phrases (PowerPhrases) and other tools to help you improve communication skills at work and at home.
She is the author of the books PowerPhrases!, How to Use PowerPhrases, Perfect Phrases for Managers and Supervisors and How to Say It: Performance Reviews. She can be reached at: 719-684-2633 or by email:
