Retiring the Generation Gap :
A SpeakStrong Book Review
Everyone knows – or do they?
Everyone knows that if you flush a toilet in the southern hemisphere, it will spiral in a different direction than if you flush it in the northern hemisphere.
Everyone knows that the Great Wall of China is the only man-made object visible from the moon.
Everyone knows that men think about sex every seven seconds.
And everyone knows that generational differences are a major source of workplace conflict.
Everyone knows those things, and everyone is wrong.
Snopes.com is the source for debunking the first three urban myths. Retiring the Generation Gap debunks the last one.
Timely reading
I read Retiring the Generation Gap as I prepared to conduct diversity training called Walk in My Style, Gender and Generation’s Shoes on a military base. That’s when I learned that everything I say about generation gap is wrong…
…or at least, can be reframed.
Contrary to popular belief
Based on seven years of research, Retiring the Generation Gap author Jennifer Deal concludes the generations are no more different from each other than people are different from each other in general. Deal suggests that if you look more deeply, you’ll find a deeper cause of conflict than age. You may be having a personality or value conflict with someone in a different generation, and because they are from a different age group, you label generation as the cause.
Onsite exploration
Since my diversity training is highly interactive, I had plenty of opportunity to explore Deal’s theory in my training last week. Before I address generational issues, I address personality and gender concerns. I divide the class into personality style groups and later gender groups. Each group answers questions designed to help us understand their demographic.
After several hours last week, we started tackling generational issues. One Boomer (born 1943-1960) manager complained about how her Gen X employees would play online fantasy football. Before I could respond, another Boomer participant mentioned – “yeah – with us it was cards.”
We concluded the issue wasn’t a generational one – it was a question of whether it’s acceptable to play at work. The form that play takes is generational, but the underlying value is not. The role of play at work is an issue that did not originate with the technical Gen X’ers. (Born 1960-1980)
More generational myths
Deal says each generation values family equally, but expresses that value differently. For example, the “Silents” (born 1922-1943) show their love for family by working hard to support them, and the Gen X’ers and Gen Y’ers (born 1980 on) show their love by working less and spending more time with their families.
Deal’s research also debunks the myth that Gen X’ers and Gen Y’ers are any less loyal than the Boomers and Silents were at their age. Loyalty is situational, Deal suggests, and each generation faced with the same situation show the same degree of loyalty.
And Deal’s research suggests that there is little difference between generational attitudes toward change.
My group came to a conclusion on its own that reinforced Deal’s thesis –the styles account for more differences than age.
One critical conversation
There was one important misunderstanding that did need to be cleared up among the generations in my group last week. Many of the obstacles that this organization’s elders faced when they started to serve are no longer there. Things are easier now than they were 20 or 30 years ago – especially for the women.
The younger employees thought their seniors wanted them to struggle like they did “when they were our age.”
They didn’t. They just wanted the younger people to know what it was like and to acknowledge how they had paved the way to a better organization.
Once the Gen X’ers in the group heard the stories, they gladly acknowledged their elder’s experience, and expressed gratitude for what they had done.
And once acknowledged, the elders willingly made more room for their younger counterparts.
What everyone really knows
We rely on Snopes to find out about toilet spin, the Great Wall and male minds. We refer to the experts like Deal to learn about the generations. Experts help us understand our world, and our own experience makes that expertise practical. My training is called Walk in My Style, Gender and Generation’s Shoes because there is no substitute for sharing our stories.
Read Deal’s book. Then check her theories out for yourself. I believe you’ll find out the generations have more in common than you knew.
For more information on the styles, read:
How to Bridge the Four Different Communication Styles: Seven Steps to Communication Style Development
Seven quick tips to help you communicate with the four different communication styles: Achiever. Reflective, Likeable's, and Visionaries. Bridges the gap between communication styles.
The Logician and the Dramatist: Learning How Not to React
Free communication style inventory:
http://www.speakstrong.com/inventory/
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Meryl Runion and Speak Strong (SpeakStrong) provides Power Phrases (PowerPhrases) and other tools to help you improve communication skills at work and at home.
She is the author of the books PowerPhrases!, How to Use PowerPhrases, Perfect Phrases for Managers and Supervisors and How to Say It: Performance Reviews. She can be reached at: 719-684-2633 or by email:
