April 24, 2006Success Story – Short and Sweet
I recently let a client know that she needed to shorten her conversatons with me so I’d have more time to work on her account. It worked great. I had been frustrated with how much time she spent with me on the phone, but telling her I’d rather use that time getting her business make the point in a way she appreciated. Our conversatons are shorter now.
April 24, 2006Wedding Readings
Meryl,
My fiancée and I are getting married on May 13th, and are putting together bits and pieces of our ceremony.
Communication, and speaking strongly has been a big part of the intensity of our relationship, and I thought you might have a suggestion for a reading that emphasizes that aspect, and how important it is for us to continue to improve in that area. maybe there is a passage you look to for inspiration, or something you have written that encapsulates that idea?
MERYL RESPONDS
Congratulations! And, I’m honored you ask.
You know what hits me, is you saying that Speaking Strong has been a big part of the intensity of your relationship. I assume that means it honesty keeps the passion flowing. I’d love to hear more about that, and more success stories.
At first I thought you were asking for something for your vows. It’s not what you asked for, but here is a thought for you.
I promise to honor our union by always speaking the simple truth. I will place truth ahead of wanting to be right. I will place truth ahead of fear. I will place truth ahead of convenience. I will speak the simple truth clearly, kindly, directly and with love.
As far as a passage goes, because my focus is on business, I haven’t written anything that would be appropriate for a wedding. Here’s a try.
- For love to flourish there must be trust. Trust that your heart is safe in your beloved’s hands. Trust that your beloved honors your best interests as their own. Trust that you will be loved without condition.
And for there to be trust, their must be truth. You must place truth ahead of wanting to be right. You must place truth ahead of fear. You must place truth ahead of convenience. The simple truth must be told, clearly kindly and directly. For love flourishes in the power of truth that is told with an open heart.
April 24, 2006It’s a Required Question
I hit the link to decline an emailed invitation from a vendor I didn’t know. The link took me to a form that I filled out, but I did not fill in the reason for declining because the options did not include the reason I wasn’t attending. It struck me as funny when the new page said:
- It’s a required question: Reason for declining.
I figured I was filling out this form as a courtesy, so what business do they have requiring anything of me? I did fill in the reason, but I also got a Poison Phrase out of it.
April 24, 2006You Need to Rest. Let’s Reschedule for When You are Completely Better.
Joel asked Katherine if she could reschedule her appointment for the following day because he was not feeling well. When he learned Katherine couldn’t, he told her to come ahead as planned because he was gong out of town the day after that. Katherine responded,
- You clearly need to rest. Let’s reschdule for when you are completely better, even if it means next month.
Joel was relieved. He was willing to see his client, but knew it was better he didn’t. Katherine redirected the discussion to where it really needed to go and gave Joel permission to respecthis own need.
Of course, if Katherine’s needs were urgent, this would not have been a PowerPhrase.
April 24, 2006Who Do You Respond To?
This week I attempted to forward a large book order to Jan, my printer, but I accidentally sent it to a subscriber named Jan instead. Subscriber Jan notified me of the error, and I resent the order to the right person. I appreciated Jan taking the time to inform me of my error.
Would you have taken the time to inform me? How do you decide who to respond to? Do you tell unsuccessful job candidates that you filled the position? If someone left a message on your voicemail for someone you don’t know, would you call back and tell them they got the wrong number? How about a voicemail from a vendor who wants your business? If someone from an association you belong to leaves a voicemail asking for volunteers and you don’t want to volunteer, do you call them back and tell them so? What if you get an inquiry from an online dating service that doesn’t interest you? Do you politely decline? How about someone new in your industry looking for support?
I’m sure, like me, you’ve wasted time trying to track down an answer from someone because they didn’t take the time to respond to you in a timely way. And yet, as busy as we all are, and with as many things as we have to respond to, responding sometimes means the difference between getting lunch or skipping it.
And yet again, that person you are considering not responding to could be the person of the hour and the one you need a response from down the line.
I’m sure you know that my policy is to respond as much as I can, but I will admit to having deleted some vendor inquiries without letting them know I’m not interested. I’d love your thoughts and policies and experiences in this area. And thanks again, Jan, for responding to my misdirected email.
April 19, 2006Thanks for Your Gift of Nothing
I have several charities and non-profits I contribute to, but my Alma Mater is not one of them. Of course they solicit contributions. Recently I received the following in an email from them. Dear Mrs. Runion,
Thank you for your gift of $0.00 to Vanderbilt University through the Vanderbilt Fund. Your gift will help provide vital resources during the coming year and also counts for our Shape the Future campaign. You will receive a tax receipt once your gift has been processed.
I later received an apology for the error, and of course I had assumed it was an error and got a good laugh. But it could have been a “great” side-swipe communication had it been intentional.
April 19, 2006Joe’s Code
Joe developed a concrete code for successful living. It goes like this:
If it ain’t broke don’t fix it.
If it doesn’t feel good don’t do it.
Slow down and refinement occurs. Speed up and coarseness occurs.
Less is more.
You’re as strong as your weakest muscle.
There are exceptions to all the principles.
I like Joe’s code, largely because each idea is short and very to the point.
April 19, 2006I’m okay, you’re biased.
An article in the Sunday NY Times concluded that decision-makers are more biased than they realize, but they are less biased than the rest of us suspect.
I suspect that is sometimes true.
I also suspect that there are some decision-makers that are far more biased than some of the rest of us could ever imagine.
If you have a strong sense of fairness, it can be difficult to imagine there are those who care little for fairness. And there are.
If you look out for number one, it can be difficult to imagine not everyone operates that way. They don’t.
I remember years ago when I realized I was fighting to find resolution and my boyfriend was fighting to win. He twisted information to build his point. I (usually) tried to decipher information to figure out how we could make things work for us both. It took me a long time to see the difference, because I never imagined that someone I loved was in it for himself rather than being in it for us. It was a difficult reality to accept, but accepting it helped me realize I needed to change my style or leave. I chose to leave.
Do not let your own standards of behavior and motivation for speaking obscure the standards and motivations of others. There are some people who look out for you when they talk to you more than you would, and there are some people who look out for themselves when they talk to you more than you would. When you SpeakStrong, know where the person you are talking to is coming from.
April 18, 2006The purpose of words
One wise person says the purpose of words is to create silence. I’ve said that the purpose of words is to make you conscious of things you are unconscous of. What do you say words are for? Help us test our new blogging service and give us your ideas. Please post your comments below.
This is an exciting opportunity for us to takl to each other. Thanks for visiting!
April 16, 2006Old Archives Are Still Available!
All the old newsletters (pre-April ’06) are still available at this site: A PowerPhrase A Week: Newsletter Archives
We don’t get the archive page updated evry week, but we do post the newsletterswhen they go out. To locate an edition that doesn’t have a link to it, simply open one of the linked newsletters and replace the issue number in the URL with the issue number you are looking for and hit go.
