April 24, 2006Wedding Readings
Meryl,
My fiancée and I are getting married on May 13th, and are putting together bits and pieces of our ceremony.
Communication, and speaking strongly has been a big part of the intensity of our relationship, and I thought you might have a suggestion for a reading that emphasizes that aspect, and how important it is for us to continue to improve in that area. maybe there is a passage you look to for inspiration, or something you have written that encapsulates that idea?
MERYL RESPONDS
Congratulations! And, I’m honored you ask.
You know what hits me, is you saying that Speaking Strong has been a big part of the intensity of your relationship. I assume that means it honesty keeps the passion flowing. I’d love to hear more about that, and more success stories.
At first I thought you were asking for something for your vows. It’s not what you asked for, but here is a thought for you.
I promise to honor our union by always speaking the simple truth. I will place truth ahead of wanting to be right. I will place truth ahead of fear. I will place truth ahead of convenience. I will speak the simple truth clearly, kindly, directly and with love.
As far as a passage goes, because my focus is on business, I haven’t written anything that would be appropriate for a wedding. Here’s a try.
- For love to flourish there must be trust. Trust that your heart is safe in your beloved’s hands. Trust that your beloved honors your best interests as their own. Trust that you will be loved without condition.
And for there to be trust, their must be truth. You must place truth ahead of wanting to be right. You must place truth ahead of fear. You must place truth ahead of convenience. The simple truth must be told, clearly kindly and directly. For love flourishes in the power of truth that is told with an open heart.
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I loved the passage that you wrote. Unfortunaterly, I learned firsthand that when truth and trust don’t exist in the relationship, soon passion and companionship don’t either.
Comment by Debra Cortner — April 26, 2006 @ 11:27 am
Hi! Meryl – I loved what you wrote. It is even more important to remember those words after you are married also. – jane
Comment by Jane — April 26, 2006 @ 3:44 pm
For me, a powerphrase to get married to:
Love is patient,
love is kind;
love is not jealous or boastful;
it is not arrogant or rude.
Love does not insist on its own way;
it is not irritable or resentful;
it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never ends.
The fact that these words are from the Christian bible doesn’t matter – they were and are simply the best way for my husband and I to express our contract to each other.
Comment by Julie — April 27, 2006 @ 9:00 am
Beautifully written and it brought tears to my eyes. Too many relationships flounder and die under the need to be right … Some truths, no matter how kindly spoken, appear to be cruel only because the listener cannot accept what is really being said.
Comment by Sheila Bailey — April 27, 2006 @ 1:59 pm
I truly enjoyed your thoughts for the couple who’s getting married. You could not have said better! Simple truth without fear. I am learning to speak strong kindly. There have been times I have been quite direct and have offended the listener. Other times when I should have been direct I have allowed others to intimidate me. This has caused me undue stress especially when I am accustomed expressing myself openly in a hostile work environment that values political correctness over simple truth.
Comment by Evelyn — May 3, 2006 @ 1:53 pm