May 3, 2006That’s Exactly What They Want You to Feel
When community members told Rick they felt intimidated to speak up at meetings, Rick told them:
- Intimidated is exactly what they want you to feel.
When they realized they were falling into the trap and pattern the manipulators were setting, they decided that they wanted to be the author of their own emotions.
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This is great information as it takes the locus of control from being external to being internal.
When people are anxious, they cannot focus well on their thoughts and opinions.
Learning to not accept intimidation will free up many innovative ideas and unheard voices in the community.
Comment by Reci — May 3, 2006 @ 1:29 pm
This reminds me of something that I am still trying to work through. I have always been a straight forward very honest person. To a fault.
When I first started dating my husband he told me his friends were awesome and very nice and open people. He did not know them as well as he thought. They were all friends from high school and over the years had not grown up. So, my being an outsider, they did not like a strong female around messing up their ‘click.’
Being totally oblivious to this fact, because I just did not think about it, I ended up in a phone conversation with the fiance of one of his ‘friends’ and she basically told me that I was too full of myself for mentioning any of the things I have done in my life, because I am just showing off.
I had never thought of it that way, I just considered our conversations as a way to get to know people. I am older than all of them and very secure in the life I have lived. I have done everything on my own and made my own way in this world.
The thing is, I let her succeed in intimidating me. It was only 5 days ago that a really good and long-time friend reminded me that I did nothing wrong and her manipulation of my thoughts and comments should be nothing to stop me from being the strong person I have always been.
We don’t talk to any of those full-grown children any longer, but it had stuck with me. Thank you for reinforcing my friend’s great reminder.
Comment by Amanda — May 4, 2006 @ 8:41 am