May 4, 2006Tiptoe Round the Sensitive Subject

Meryl -

Thank you for your Speakstrong notes, (email I actually enjoy getting), and for the opportunity to get your thoughts. I have a friend and she and I have been acting as accountability partners, otherwise this wouldn’t be my business. Unfortunately, I don’t know how to give this feedback nor make a positive suggestion. We are both Christians, and have small businesses, the observation, I believe I should share is, that she is spending a lot of time in bible studies, mentoring and at other such volunteer activities, all the while she has concerns, as does her husband about needing to make more money & work. When I have tried to approach this subject, my thoughts have come out badly, I have only briefly mentioned her need to set boundaries. I feel I’m letting our relationship down, by not finding away to give her this feedback and to do it in a gently way. Thank you in advance for your ideas

Meryl Responds:

I so relate to this – I have a friend who lost her house because (IMO) her spiritual life overshadowed her business. Personally, I find that when my physical and financial needs are taken care of, I am much more settled, my heart is more open and I have more to give. My experience is that by cutting back on my spiritual pursuits, I became more spiritual because it became based on a firmer foundation.

Perhaps you have a similar experience you can share.

I’d say,

There’s a thought I’ve been dancing around because I think you may not want to consider it, and I often find that if I don’t want to talk about something, it usually means I need to. I wonder if the amount of time you invest in the church interferes too much with your work. I think you may be out of balance, and that could be a source of stress. I admire all you do, and yet I’d like to explore that possibility with you. I’d also like to explore why I’m so hesitant to speak about this.

Whatch think? I’ll post it for comments.